What a Wicked Web We Weave

Have you ever had something happen to you when at the end of the journey you stand mystified as to how you managed to get yourself snared into the situation?  I recently found myself embroiled in a similar situation several weekends ago….

The story starts at the beginning of October.  I was doing some gay lobbying making sure our local congress people sign off on a bill that will protect we gays from being fired for being…well gay…when I had a brilliant idea.  I was going to bring doughnuts to the congresspersons office.  It is always better to lobby on a full stomach…plus they would remember us gays as being great visitors and not want to fire us for being gay.  I digress…I end up visiting our local grocers and head to get doughnuts when low and behold I stumble onto a super cute guy!  Not just regular cute but puppy dog cute!  It registers that he may be gay (yeah I’m still fine tuning the gaydar) and I end up striking up a conversation…or as I like to say “get my flirt on.”  We end up parting ways and I’m thinking I’ll  never see him again, but I had more important things to worry about…they were/are called gay rights and I pushed any notion of the guy out of my head.

Two weeks later I was a patron at a local gay bar…I was inebriated and dancing wildly about making a spectacle of myself (per usual) when my shoulder is grabbed by someone behind me.  They spin me around and low and behold it is cute doughnut guy…he immediately shouted “you’re that doughnut guy” and I was in love (j/k, but it was nice to be recognized).  We immediately exchange numbers.  I’m pleased; as I had mentioned it isn’t every day you get noticed and the guy was super cute.  The next morning I text him letting him know it was good seeing him and that I was glad we exchanged numbers.  He responds back in the positive and we text back and forth a couple moments.  It is going pretty good!  He suggests that I stop up and visit him at work (he worked at a bar/restaurant so I was thinking it was legit to stop plus he suggested it).  I don’t tell him what time I’m stopping due to other events but I would be there.

Eventually, I end up at his place of employment.  I am with a friend and we are just relaxing.  I notice another guy that I know is gay but he is only a mere acquaintance.  I keep my eyes peeled for doughnut guy (Mike) but I can’t seem to find him, the restaurant is getting busy and so I call over the bartender and ask her to deliver a message for me.  I tell her to let Mike know that I had stopped and I had to leave and we could catch up later…the bartender looks at me and says “No Mikes work here…”uh oh….now things are starting to get weird.  Well, we bid our ado’s and all I can think is perhaps I mis-programmed his number.   I text him one more time from work the next day seeing if he would want to catch a movie (don’t you just love how texting takes the awkwardness out of calling someone for a date *Sammy shakes his head*) Well, I hear nothing back so I do what any every day, normal, arguably sane person would do….I begin looking for him on facebook.  As I look for him I stumble onto the gay guy from the restaurant I click on his facebook thinking he may be friends with Mike when I realize he happens to be in a relationship with a guy that has a very similar name to the Mike in my cell phone directory (yeah I kinda programmed Mike’s name in wrong while I was drunk but the last names were VERY close in spelling…..don’t judge) so I click on his Mike and low and behold it is doughnut guy…First, I’m sad that Mike is in a relationship, then I realize something else is going on…..something really fishy and weird.  Suddenly all the pieces to the puzzle seem to fit.  It seems (what I hypothesize and belive) that Mike’s boyfriend potentially found my text messages to Mike then pretended to be him and was texting him to get me to come to his restaurant to see who was texting his boyfriend!!!!!!!!   This would explain why the bartender knew of no Mike that worked at the restaurant. 

In the end I had a guy hit on me who had a boyfriend (which I didn’t know about…no I’m not a home wrecker) whose boyfriend was reading personal text messages AND pretending to be his boyfriend to dupe poor, devastatingly handsome, unsuspecting Sammy into going to his place of work to figure out who was flirting with his boyfriend.

Needless to say we did not go out on a date and I ended up pondering how I got myself into this mess!