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Archive for November, 2008

So I’ve been surfing around the interweb and discovered a few things that you should read.  There is a blog post about Prop 8 that is just a great post.  I know when you read it you will want to click off of it but read it the entire way though.  You have to trust me on this one…just keep reading!  It is a great post that culturepress shared with me….check her out on my blogroll.

 http://reeva-dubois.blogspot.com/2008/11/prop-8-and-why-im-glad-it-passed.html

 

The second thing I have for you to read is an essay by David J. Jefferson who writes for Newsweek.  It describes his marriage to his parter in CA and his thoughts regarding the passage of Prop 8.  It is a great article and I urge you to read it.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/169195?gt1=43002

Next http://jointheimpact.wetpaint.com/?t=anon has a variety of events coming up.  Since the gay movement is revitalizing they are planning a big event every month to let people know we aren’t just going to go away.  The next events are the postcard writing campaign and Dec. 10th A Day Without Gay.  I hope you will all write postcards to Obama’s transition office whether you are gay or a straight supporter do it.  Again, we need to increase visiablilty.  Those people who want to take away our rights and those representatives that are to scared to stand up for us depend on us to be quiet and to stay closeted.  The louder we are, the more we are out the more people have take notice.  No longer can we just stand here and depend on others or wait for someone else to fight our battles, we have to do this on our own and we have to visible members of the larger community.

 

Liberty and Justice for some or for all?

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Hello everyone!  I thought I would catch up with you very quickly.  It seems since last Wednesday, when we had our gay rally, that I’ve been going full tilt and haven’t had the ability to get my feet back under me.  We planned on Wednesday for the rally.  It was cool to connect with the older gay community and they made me, Lauren, Lucy, and Steve (yes Steve I’ve kinda had a thing for) feel very welcome.

 

I ended up scribing for our group.  There were two; I guess you would say leaders, for us, one gay guy and one straight pastor.  We discussed a variety of plans to show our solidarity.  What we decided on was solidarity bands for our arms, red, white, and blue (because we are all American citizens) speakers, including myself and Lauren (which made me nervous because I’m not completely out) and then there was a symbolic wedding ceremony wedding all us gays and our supporters.  Our protest was set for this past Saturday on the Erie County Court House steps at 1:30pm. 

 

The meeting was great but there was one problem.  The straight pastor kept trying to keep things civil.  It was the whole “you can’t fight hate with hate” idea.  Which is a wonderful idea but I was hot under the collar.  I wanted some loud protests.  I wanted us to be expressive; I wanted us to use a mega-phone etc.  But this pastor kept it civil, which is probably better but to be quite frank I want people to be scared of us.  I want people to be scared of us not because we are gay but because we mean business.  I don’t force my sexuality on anyone and when people feel the need to force their own moral belief on what a marriage is on me I want them to know that I don’t like it.  I want people to take stock in what I have to say, I want to be heard and I want them to listen and answer me.  But that is just me and this being my first rally I didn’t think it would have been to great of me to high jack the rally and go on a religious crusade looking for the mormons.  I kid…and not that their would be a ton of mormons in Erie…I digress.

 

Also this weekend we celebrated a late birthday bar crawl for me but it was Lauren’s birthday as well.  So we had friends staying at our place from Friday until Sunday…then on Sunday Lauren’s parents and siblings came down to visit for the afternoon.  Needless to day I was constantly going this weekend.  In fact I ended up taking a mental health day yesterday.  Not only did I sleep in, I cleaned our kitchen and bathroom, did the dishes, baked a cake for Lauren’s birthday (I wanted to do laundry but our washer and dryer was out of order), and I wrapped gifts.  It was very busy.  Then I had two business meetings this morning. 

 

The Saturday rally was awesome.  We got an early lunch and talked about gay stuff then headed over to the court house.  We were there with our signs and umbrellas (it rained), we had our solidarity ribbons on etc.  There were a couple of speakers one of them was a lesbian I went to college with that I didn’t know was a lesbian…and I saw another girl who was a partner with me in a class that turn out was a lesbian too.  It was like we all came out to each other coming to the rally.  It was a weird but awesome moment!  Both Lauren and I spoke on the steps of the courthouse.  It was scary but empowering.  We briefly talked about how straight people need to be our voices to and help promote gay marriage and I talked about how I was a gay man and how it was unbelievable that people still try to take our rights away from us in 2008 etc.  We had between 80 to 150 people it was hard to estimate.  We ended up on a variety of news outlets.  It was really cool and empowering.  I felt like a part of a community for the first time.  There were no real protestors protesting us.  We did have a variety of people drive past and beep for us from their cars which was awesome.  Afterwards we went to a coffee house with others from the community and other supporters.  It was cool getting to know others.  Plus I’ve decided to try and get a little more into some community activism.  So we will see how it goes.  Overall it has been going going going.  I want to say that I’m ready for Thanksgiving break but it is going to be just as busy at break as it is now.  I have work stuff on Friday, a dental appointment on Monday, then home for Thanksgiving back to Erie the next day, then over to Ohio for another wedding reception for the couple from Oklahoma then we have a friend staying with us until the first Tuesday of Dec and lets not forget the whole Christmas shopping deal that is coming up.  whew…  So that’s about it in a nut shell.

 

In terms of the dating world; Craig and I are still seeing each other intermittently for gay wrestling matches.  I’m still making attempts to take Lauren’s co-worker on a date but I can never seem to ask him or catch him when he is at work….Steve and I are now friends.  I still want to make out with him but not much else…or at least I keep telling myself that.  It’s nice to have a gay friend though.  We’ve been hanging out much more lately.  It is weird cause I feel like I like him, but I wonder if it’s just me liking having a gay friend and then some of the things he says about past ex’s makes me anxious.  So I don’t know what is going on. 

 

On a final note…winter has finally come to Erie.  We got something like 2 feet from Sunday into Monday…the Farmer’s Almanac says it going to be bad this winter…did I ever mention I hate the Farmer’s Almanac.

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Alright everyone.  On Saturday the country will unite in Protests agains Prop 8.  If you want to see what your area is doing see the link below

http://jointheimpact.com/

 

As for the Erie Area here is the following information regarding our Protest on Saturday.

 

Wednesday (tonight) the 12th we will be meeting to begin organizing the protest.  The meeting starts at 7pm and will be held at Unitarian-Universalist Congregation of Erie, 7180 New Perry Highway, Erie PA.  Be there!

 

Saturday the 15th tentativelly we are looking at the Protest being at 1:30 pm on the steps of the Erie County Court House.  Look here for more updates and a solidified schedule! 

 

I HOPE YOU ARE ALL OUT GETTING READY TO EXERCISE OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH ON SATURDAY…THAT’S ONE RIGHT THEY CAN’T TAKE AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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For those of you who voted for Prop 8 (or any other Prop defining marriage as being between a man and woman) in an effort to support a “traditional marriage” and/or preserve “family values” lets take a moment and look at some things.

 

While you denied me my right to marry, you allow those heterosexual couples that sexually, mentally, and verbally abuse each other the right to marry.  Is that your idea of a traditional marriage or good values or a good environment to raise a child?

 

While you denied me my right to marry, you allow those men and women with drug problems to marry and raise a family.  Is that your idea of family values?

 

While you denied me my right to marry, you allowed children to languish in a state system because you refuse to allow unmarried people to adopt.  Is that your idea of a good personal moral compass?

 

While you voted yes for Prop 8 you easily took rights away from me and other gay couples.  Tell me was it easy for you to check yes?  Do you sleep easily at night knowing you marginalize people?  I’m guessing you probably do.

 

Well here is what I think…Any woman that voted for Prop 8 or any definition of marriage being between a man and a woman should have her right to vote taken away from her.  It seems only fair considering we celebrated the 88th anniversary of your right to vote.  You know the saying “an eye for any eye”…well now it should be a right for a right.

 

For any man that voted for Prop 8 or any definition of marriage being between a man and a woman you are small minded.  Your inability to see past us being gay to realize that we are people just the same as you and deserve the same rights exemplifies just how narrow minded you are.  You should have your right to freedom of speech taken away because what you have to say is filled with lies and bigotry.  You take away one of my rights I should be allowed to take away one of your rights.

 

For any mormon that voted for Prop 8 or any definition of marriage being between a man and a woman you pouring 20 million into supporting Prop 8 shows me that you are scared worthless people.  Your right to practice your religion freely should be taken away and we should get to persecute you.

 

 

For any Senator, State Representative or person holding public office if you state that you want to protect the rights of the gay community but believe marriage is between a man and a woman you make it morally acceptable for people to marginalize us.  You lack the ability to stand up for those of us that have been marginalized and we deserve a strong voice in office that will stand up and fight for us and not just for another term in office.

 

For the members of the gay community that read this…now is the time to be angry.  It is time we define ourselves differently.  No longer should we be a gay community, we are a community committed to gay rights.  We are committed to rights that we deserve and should be willing to have our voices heard for.  Now is the time to picket the churches that we go to that depend on our patronage to continue.  We shouldn’t give our money to them the same way they won’t give us the right to marry.  Now is the time to have open discourse and discussion with those people who don’t believe we should marry and educate them properly.  We need to show them that we are not a group of people who deserve to be marginalized.  It is time for us to be angry and upset and it is time for us to be heard.

 

http://www.jointheimpact.com/

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So I’ve been mulling over some of the reasons why the gays in California had their right to marry taken away from them.  On the surface you see California being more liberal in its decisions and view points.  It is home to the Castro District; moreover San Francisco itself is a liberal/gay Mecca.  You have Berkley and so on.  All these free thinking individuals in a state that went blue on Nov. 4th and the gays were still denied had their right to marry taken away.  Not just taken away, the California State Constitution was amended to define marriage as being between a man and a woman.  It’s like taking three giant steps backwards. 

 

As I was sifting though the numerous quantities of internet information on the passing of Prop 8 I stumbled across several pieces of information that I find to be interesting. 

 

First, the Mormons siphoned millions upon millions of dollars (upwards around 22 million dollars!!!) into getting Prop 8 passed.  Alright then, if that’s what they wanted then that is what they got.  Now it’s time to hear my terms and conditions for them.  I want to attend your church.  No I don’t want to go though all the hub-bub of becoming a Mormon…no no no.  I just want to be able to walk into their church and participate…including weddings.  I don’t think that’s much to asking.  I mean since they have taken issue with what goes on in my bedroom then I should be able to see what goes on in their churches…and by go on I mean seeing everything.  Somehow deep inside I don’t think they would let me in.  I wonder why?  Why are they so secretive?  Why can’t I come and participate?  More importantly, why did liberal Californians trust them enough to vote with them?  Why is it that people will follow blindly with a group that won’t open the doors to their church to anyone?  Also why do they get to define what “traditional/traditional marriage is?”  If I’m not mistaken they aren’t necessarily the most traditional group ever.  Well let’s just get one thing straight…If you are a mormon I’m judging you.  Yes, I’m judging you and that’s what you get for following a church that got its beliefs from a man (Joseph Smith Jr.) who found your beliefs on gold plates.

 

The second areas I want to look at are the exit polls regarding Prop 8.  So on a CNN blog they gave the following information on Prop 8 exit polls. (the link will be below)

 

If the trend holds, younger, first-time voters can be said to be responsible for Proposition 8’s defeat. Voters between the ages of 18 and 29 opposed the proposition 66 percent to 34 percent; voters 30-64 were evenly split; voters 65 and above favored the amendment 57 percent to 43 percent.

First-time voters cast their ballots against the proposition by a 64 percent to 36 percent margin. The rest of the electorate favored the amendment 52 percent to 48 percent.

Californians who attend church weekly voted for Proposition 8 by an 83 percent to 17 percent. Those who attended church occasionally voted 40 percent in favor and 60 percent opposed. Californians who never attend church were 14 percent in favor and 86 percent against.

College graduates opposed Proposition 8 by a 57 percent to 43 percent margin. Those without a college degree favored it, 53 percent to 47 percent.

African-Americans voted for Proposition 8 by a 69 percent to 31 percent margin. However, 55 percent of white voters and 52 percent of Hispanics voted against the proposition.”

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/11/05/exit-polls-gay-marriage-in-california/

At first looking at this I found nothing to surprising.  I’m not surprised that the educated individuals and the young voters opposed the amendment.  I’m not surprised that those people who attended church regularly supported the amendment.  I mean you eventually get use church goers being blinded and brain washed enough by organized religions to never be able to make decisions for themselves.  Who doesn’t love an antiquated book with a patchwork of stories, the bible, and a priest; aid you in your decision making? **insert sarcasm** 

 

What did surprise me was how the African Americans voted.  A whopping 69% of African Americans voted for Prop 8.  69%.  I find this particularly upsetting considering their own struggles with civil rights.  I took a Civil Rights course while in college and I found it somewhat comforting to know there were others that had to fight for their rights.  They understood our plight.  Granted it wasn’t nearly the same kind of fight, but we could commiserate to some extent.  Well apparently the African Americans do not feel the same way about us gays.  I think it is particularly hard when a marginalized group attacks another marginalized group.  It stings a little more because the connection that we thought, or at least I thought, shared.  Well now it’s just plain HYPOCRISY! 

I just want you to know that you made history not once but twice election night.  You helped vote into office the first African American President…but…you also took rights away from people too…welcome to the majority.

 

Finally, to those of you who will read this blog, don’t share my beliefs, and want to comment.  If I find your comment particularly cruel I’ll remove it.  Also, make sure it’s not anonymous and that I’m able to link back to your blog.  There is nothing less appealing than someone who will insult your stance but are to chicken shit to leave a name or their blog.

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So first off I would like to say that I’ve officially reached 26 today the 5th of November!  Yes the most important time in American politics lands right on the eve, or on the day of my birthday.  But lets be serious, the American people aren’t really celebrating the election of a new leader for our nation…they are celebrating my…ahem…birth.  To continue celebrating my birth…here is a gratuitous man picture…enjoy…it is my gift to you 😉

 

 

 

 

 

Now let’s get down to brass tacks my friends.  I began my blog several months ago to try and figure out what I lacked and needed to do with my life.  While I look back at my posts and recount the many fun times I’ve had I’ve also noticed that I am not really where I wanted to be by the time I turned 26.  I thought at this point in my life after being partially out of the closet I’d have significant other.  I don’t have a significant other, but I do have someone I full around with pretty consistently…even if he is much older than me.  I thought I’d have a job in my field, I don’t, but Does it count if I’ve applied???  These two notions make me kind of anxious considering I am closing in on 30.  It isn’t that I’m getting older it’s just that I’m not where I thought I’d be in life by 26.  I’m at a state of stasis right now…consistent yet happy, but I’m going to need some changes real soon.  Okay so enough of this feelings conversation…I hope you all go out and have some good old booze gay man fun to celebrate my introduction to the world!  Cheers for now.

 

 

So originally when I finished this blog the 2008 election wasn’t over now that it’s over there are a few things I would like to get off my chest.  First and for most…shame on you Florida, California, Arizona, and Arkansas…you’ve taken away peoples rights.  On what basis did you take these rights away, fear and your religion????  This breaks my heart to know that there are people out there that feel the need to marginalize others.  That is what they did plain and simple.  Secondly, I just want to say that for those of you gay men and women who want to adopt, don’t do it.  I hate to say it and it isn’t pretty to say but if people want to deny marriage then why should we help those children that languish in a state system.  I’ve talked about this before and I genuinely hate to know that children will suffer from this but why should we gays sink money into state systems that feel the need to deny us our right to marry.  I say let the systems fill with children until states realize that these kids could have wonderful loving homes but because of their moral issues they won’t get a home. 

 

I know it crass, mean, and down right deplorable of me to say but why is it that we have to take the moral high road.  You know what I’m saying, that voice in your head, your conscious that goes, “you know even though people have taken your right to marry away we should still adopt because there are children that need us…it’s for them.”  Screw that I’m over being Mr. Nice Gay.  I’m sick and tired about people being so scared of gay marriage.  Is it really that crazy or scary that two men and two women love each other and want the sanctity of a marriage to prove their love and devotion to each other? 

 

 

The other thing that I’m kinda over is people calling us progressive as a nation.  Yes we are progressive but I believe we are selectively progressive.  Don’t get me wrong I’m enthralled at having Obama as my President.  But if we were progressive don’t you think that gay rights would have won.  People “selected” not to progress gay rights.  We only choose to be progressive when we want to or when the time is right.  We tout being progressive but I just think we pick and choose our areas of progression based on how we feel at that time.  I mean we chose to progress in some areas of animal rights and abortion. 

 

 

On a final note I just want to say I hope Obama and Biden stay true to their word protecting what gay rights we have.  I have said from the beginning that I was a Clinton supporter, but when she did not get the nod for the presidential position I was left with Obama and McCain…obviously I would not vote for McCain so that left Obama.  The hardest thing for me to swallow about Obama was that both he and Biden stood up and said they will protect gay rights but believed that marriage was between a man and a woman.  First, I believe marriage is a right that should be given to me…and currently the states show that they don’t believe in that right, secondly, people look to Obama and Biden as not only leaders of our nation but as moral leaders too.  When these two men stood up at the debates and said they believed that marriage was between a man and a woman they told people that is okay to give certain rights to gays.  They made it okay, they made it comfortable, acceptable, for people to give certain rights to the gays while still holding them an arms length away from total equality.  Because of this I came down with the choice of either not voting for Obama or compromising the feelings I have about equality for gays for the greater good.  That’s not an easy decision to be asked or to be made.  What makes the decision even worse is that Obama is in office and that is great but will he and Biden do anything to help the gays in the state that just had their rights to adoption and marriage taken away from them, or will they just support the rights for gays to visit their loved ones in hospitals etc?  I think it is an important question we have to ask ourselves and our new President and our new Vice President.  Like I said I’m not bashing Obama and Biden.  I am just a concerned, marginalized, second class citizen who has questions and is hoping for change.

 

Okay now I’m over my political rant.  This should be a happy day so as a gift to me go out and get drunk and have some crazy gay fun times with the people you care about the most. 

 

 

P.S. Congrats to Obama and Biden!  Let hear it for change!

 

 

P.P.S.  I think it’s kind cool that I get to share my birthday with a significan piece of American history!!!!!

 

 

 

I’m making my birthday wish and it’s for some of the items below! 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Just a quick note:

 

DON’T FORGET TO VOTE!!!!

 

It’s your civic duty and it shouldn’t be taken for granted.  Also, let hope that Prop. 8 does not pass…I’ve got my fingers crossed for you in CA.  I have already voted…7:30 a.m. this morning bitches.  No I’m not going to tell you who I voted for…and yes it did come down to standing at the voting booth.  No I didn’t flip a coin I made an informed decision.  Here is a little something to get you to the polls!!!! 😉

 

 

 

 

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