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Archive for March, 2010

Scene: Erie Public Library, Sammy checking out VHS’s for the week with the library closing in 10 minutes.  Sammy’s friend is behind him waiting patiently, infront of him is a man wearing swishy gym pants with his sweatshirt tucked into it, a wild hairdo, and jesus fish earrings hanging from his ear lobe….Sammy watches the man in front of him waving at a silver dome (the kind that has a security camera in it). 

ACTION!

Guy, finishes waving and looks at Sammy:  “Big Brother’s always watching.”

Sammy, hesitant: “Yeah they are always watching…..”

Guy: “Have you ever read “1984?””

Sammy, having only read 70 pages of the book: “Yes, I did read it.”

Guy: “Yes, gotta be careful with Big Brother.  You know that new Health Care Bill?”

Sammy, knowing this coversation will not go well: *nods* “Yes.”

Guy, states matter-of-factly: “Well, the new Health Care Bill allows the government to put chips in our body.”

Sammy: “Oh it does.”

Guy: “Yes, on page 1000, I can give you the page number and the exact section where it says they can implant chips into people.”

Sammy, turns and eyes his friend behind him hoping he would help him, to no avail.”: *just stares at the crazy man.*

Guy: “I’m not worried about it though, nature will take care of us in the next few years….”

With that a woman calls for him to come and check out his books and Sammy is left wondering how a crazy man could read and understand all the nuances of an in depth Health Care Reform Plan, and wonderswhy the government would ever want to moniter that crazy man.  The entire time Sammy is praying the man doesn’t have a weapon.

END SCENE.

I guess I’m just lucky to get all the crazy people in line. *shakes head*

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Dear Christina,

I hope your album Bionic is just as good as your Album artwork!

I mean come on M.I.A. and Santigold co-wrote tracks and the cd could include music with Ladytron and Goldfrapp. Please let this be good!

xxx

Sammy

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Welcome to the team Ricky Martin!

P.S. Thanks for being so hot!

(click the image to get the link where I got the pic!)

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Phone call at work yesterday…just before leaving for the day.

Me: “Hello how can I help you?”

Guy: “uh hi, I was wondering if you could help me.”

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Guy: “Um do you know the congressperson on Randall Avenue?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Guy: “I was wondering if you could get me the phone number for the congress person on Randall Avenue.”

Me: “Sir I have no idea who the congress person is or what their phone number is.  I don’t even live in this town; I commute in everyday.  I would suggest you get on the internet and find out the information.”

Guy: “Well I’m fishing right now.”

Me: “………………”

Guy: “I can’t get to the internet…..so do you know the phone number.”

Me: “uuummmmm I can’t really help you…sorry!”

Let me make one thing clean…The company I work for has nothing to do at all with congress or politics at all…NOTHING.  And normally I will help people but cut me a break I’m not your personal 411 so if you are fishing you are out of luck….do it when you get home.  Don’t call a random business to look up phone numbers for you….we get angry.

TGIF Bitches!

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For Stephanie of  Please Stop Bouncing!  It’s Wednesday and while I’m wearing a pair of grey wool slacks and not pink I think the above video is appropriate!

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….because I am constantly in repose in my living room floor on two beanbag chairs.  Yes the fateful move of my roommate has occurred and it takes something like that to realize just what you don’t have.  I do not make my move to my new bachelor pad until April 9th.  And a bachelor pad it will be!

It’s like everything is disjointed and I’m in a state of waiting (not the “lady in waiting” kind of waiting).  I also still feel a little incised over my roommate moving out on me.  I know it was eventually going to happen (just not as quickly as it just occurred) and it makes her commute to work easier (which I get and understand) but I totally feel like she left me to move to a little country town with not much to do all for and a quicker commute. Boring town/commute…me…..boring town/commute…me….boring town/’commute….me……I think the choice is pretty obvious!  I’m trying not to be upset and sad because as I mentioned this would eventually happen.  But guurrll, this blows!  Now every time we talk our usual effortless, airy, and fun conversations feel forced and heavy.  I mean this girl is one of my best friends; one of the first few people I came out to, shared countless adventures, and bad decisions with…..

I’m sure (hope) things well mend themselves and things will take on a more normal shape.  But till then my life has spun wildly of control this includes multiple viewings of my VHS version of Jurassic Park and the purchase of a Raven Simone song from itunes (Double Dutch Bus) and my itchy trigger finger is just dying to purchase Miley Cyrus’s Party in the USA.  This is what I’ve turned to in the absence of a roommate.  I’m fine…seriously!

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Dear Bookstore Boy,

Suffice to say I am smitten with you!  I can tell because everytime I’m in the bookstore and you’re there I can’t stop running my hands though  my hair and playing with the buttons on my jacket.  You are utterly adorable; I love your scruffy face, your eyes, the fact that you are short, and your cute voice.  Please be gay and please pick up on my gay vibes I’m sending your way.  I’d love to make dinner for you and then promptly make out with you all night.

Always,

Sammy

P.S. Universe, if you can hear me, this has been a shitty month…you owe me for it…and I want to collect in the form of this cute bookstore boy!

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