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Okay so I know I’ve kept you in suspense for the last day regarding my date with Frank on Wednesday.  (My prediction regarding the kiss was pretty spot on.)  It went really well!  So I don’t know about anyone else but I always try to feel out how serious the date is.  I try to answer questions like are we going Dutch tonight, or is he going to pay for me, or should I pay for him?  It gives me a handle on how serious the date is…you know feel it out.  So I get to the theater first and I buy the tickets just to see what happens.  He shows up and I tell him that I got tickets for us….P.S. we saw “Fired Up”) and what does he end up doing…giving me a voucher for a ticket.  I guess we answered that question…going Dutch.  So we get into the movie and it is basically me and Frank and 3 other couples.  The movie begins it’s really funny and I learned one thing about Frank he has loud and distinct laugh…he literally LOL’s…he is the physical embodiment of LOL.  I’m sure it annoyed some people in the theater but I found it kind of charming.  As the movie progressed there was some knee to knee rubbing….just a gesture to let each other know that we are attracted to one another…then there is some finger touching and rubbing.  I’m enjoying the whole date at this point.  When the movie ends Frank offers to walk me to my car…very gentlemanly of him, and I end up giving him a ride back to his car.  We sit for a bit and decide that we are going to have brunch on Saturday together.  I am giving him my best come kiss me body language…he is kinda sitting in my car looking a little scared of me…I lean forward even more and we keep making small talk…so finally I take his arm and tell him it would be okay if he kissed me.  He says he would like that….he plants two quick, light kisses on my mouth.  There is a graze of tongue, his lips are cool, and he tastes like mint….I wasn’t expecting our kiss to be like that at all.  I’m so use to a booze fueled make out session that I forgot how nice it is for someone to just kiss you.  Frank then says he is glad we are taking it slow.  He then asks me to come with him as a guest to a concert on Thursday evening.  I accept and then we exchange goodbyes and we drive off.

 

I think it is fair to say he is interested in me.  Especially after I hash out the date last night 😉  So Yesterday at work Cody texts me and our just going out for drinks Friday night turns into dinner and drinks.  Our casual date suddenly takes a on a much more official date like feeling.  After work I end up at home and I get ready for the concert.  Frank picks me up and we are off.  Here the concert is of different music faculty around the Erie School District.  There aren’t many people that come to see the concert but Frank knows practically all the faculty playing.  He introduces me to all of them…there are lovely and very kind to me…but I can see it some of their faces…Frank and his friend who is 20 years younger…are they together?  Perhaps I am being to quick to judge or I’m over analyzing the whole situation but it still weighs in the back of my mind.  After the concert we grab some coffee and dessert and have a nice conversation.  My whole plan is to push the envelope a little bit.  No sex of heavy petting but a little more making out.  Frank has made it clear he wants to take it slow and I’m okay with that.  My plan is to get him to walk me to my door and make out a little bit.   After coffee he drives me home (Lauren is out drinking with friends…Score!) I invite him up and he obliges.  In fact he ends up coming in.  So I give him a tour and we end up on the couch watching the news.  We cuddle a little bit..he has his right arm slung over me and my back is on his side…he is rubbing my chest…tweeks my nipple a little bit, he kisses the back of my head (Frank is scoring points like crazy0….this is a little more than I bargained for…so I decide it is time for a little make out session.  And we start making out…the kisses are soft and hesitant at first, then they warm up.  We are giggling, he tries to tell me he wants to leave but I tell him not to…we keep kissing and I tell him I am texting Lauren to not come home…I reach for my phone but he holds me back, he playfully holds me against him, we are still laughing but I manage to get my phone and get the text out.  I quickly turn around and keep kissing him…At this point it is adequately clear that our clothes will stay on and we resist exploring below the belt with our hands.  This is purely an above the waist, clothes on, make out session….I still managed to get out of my dress shirt though LOL 😉  Suddenly I start getting texts back I know they are from Lauren…Frank reaches for the phone wanting to know what they say…I laugh cause I am straddling him and I hold my phone out where he can’t reach it…I causally mention look who’s got who now, we are laughing and he still can’t reach.  Lauren declares the apt. mine for the next hours…seconds later Lucy (who is out with Lauren) texts me back “Slut.”  I’m laughing really hard now and Frank still can’t see the text messages.   We end up making out for the next hour.  I’ll leave it up to your imagination to what we did, but there was some straddling, grinding, lots of kissing, ear nibbling…all the fun stuff…that ended with me having a hickey.  It was such a great make out session…it was hot yet playful…we didn’t do to much yet we did just enough.  One of the best parts too was that he would ask me to just hug him and I would just snuggle right into him and nuzzle his chest.  I’ve not had many guys just flat out ask me to hug them….it was great!

 

So now you are up to speed on my dating week.  I will see Cody this evening and we will see how that goes.  And them I have brunch plans tomorrow with Frank…I’m hoping he will ask me back to his place to cuddle for a bit before I leave this weekend for a house warming party.  We will see.  Now in terms of the whole age thing….I have thus far enjoyed my time with Frank.  I could see us going out more and I am going to sit back and enjoy our time together at the moment.  I am going to try and not think about the social ramifications of dating someone who is older than you and just enjoy it…I’m not going to try and define it quite yet.  We will see what happens. 

 

Tell me how you guys are doing.  What are your plans for the weekend?  Any good hook ups recently?  Have a lovely weekend everyone and I will have updates for you all on Monday 😉

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Hello ladies and gentlemen; I hope you all have had a lovely weekend.  Mine was jammed packed and I am paying for it this exhausting Monday afternoon.

 

You know the saying “when it rains it pours” well that seems to apply adequately enough to my dating/love life.  We know about my search for Price Charming has led me currently to Brad…who doesn’t seem to working out as I thought it would (which I’ll explain in a bit)…well wouldn’t you know I go our Friday evening and I meet someone.  Let us not get to excited yet there are some terms and conditions that come with this one.  As I have mentioned I have been doing some LGBT activism work and though it I’ve met a ton of people (most of whom I can’t remember their names because it’s such a fast introduction and then work)…while I was out on Friday with Steve I end up running into one of the guys we had met.  His name is Frank.  He’s there with a couple of his friends and we all start chatting…I’m eyeing up one of his friends that I’m thinking I will end up on the dance floor with when Frank begins to pay some attention to me.  He comments on my glasses and calls them sexy….not a compliment I usually receive…and he strikes up a conversation with me.  I’m drinking not heavily but enough to enjoy the evening and I can’t help but flirt back…I can’t help myself when I get some booze in my system.  It’s really nice we chat with each other around the bar, the conversation is not forced, I’m enjoying his presence, in general he seems like a nice guy.  He buys me a drink, and I make an innocuous comment that he is trying to get me drunk to get in my pants…he laughs and says maybe…would I try to stop him if he tried to get in my pants….probably not.  Why not?  Because while even though I tell everyone that I want to some traditional dating I am still a man who likes attention and sex (perhaps shallow but true).   All of a sudden “Sexual Healing” (how ironic) (the Shaggy version which I coincidentally love) comes on…what do I do…slug back the rest of my beer, throw my arms around Frank and tell him to take me out on the dance floor to dance with me….wouldn’t you do that.  So there we are, I’m in a semi-boozy haze, with a man that seems to be attracted to me enjoying one of my favorite songs; Frank is doing all the right things putting his hands on my hips, sliding his fingertips just into the tops of my pockets, or giving a slight tug on my belt loops…just enough to be coy and sexual without being to overly aggressive or creepy…I am enjoying myself…we keep dancing for a bit.  Eventually, we move off the dance floor, he is getting ready to leave we exchange numbers….I have ulterior motives obviously at this point….who doesn’t want to make out with someone on a Friday night when it just so happens your roommate is out of town and you have your apartment to yourself.  We exchange goodbyes a quick peck on the lips and he is gone…I text him to come over…he tells me that he didn’t want to because I was to nice and special to do that (good answer) I tell him that the offer still stands, he says it might be moving to fast for him (another good answer even though I do want to make out with him), he texts me back telling me he is already regretting not coming over (the Russian judges give him a 10 out 10 for that all star text) and eventually we say good night to each other.  We spend the rest of the weekend texting each other.  Some of the texts are fun, some flirty, others just texts.  We’ve been hashing out a date possibly this week which is good.  All in all I’m pretty excited, but there is one problem……he is 20 years older than me!!!!!! Eep.

 

So I don’t know what to do.  He seems really nice, said all the right things, wants to take things slow and be more traditional in terms of going on dates (which for all intensive purposes doesn’t mean a commitment), but I don’t know what to think about the age thing.  I mean I don’t know if I want to date someone who is 20 years older than me…but on the other hand everyone who’s around my age (who’ve I’ve tried hitting on, asking out, etc.) has never really given me the time of day.  Take Brad for example, we talked on Thursday and had open ended plans to maybe go out on Monday (to get to know each other).  I don’t call until Sunday leave a message and he still has yet to call me back.  Of course I am over analyzing the whole thing with Frank.  But, he has shown me more interest than other guys and I don’t want to not take that with a grain of salt.  I’m going to call Frank tonight see if he does want to go out on Wednesday for dinner…and see where it goes from there.  Who ever said dating was fun must have been married…or on a lot of acid/cocaine.  Okay I’m freaked out a little and just ranting wildly on my blog.  I’m done…maybe…thanks for listening….you will hear more…perhaps even today :/  Okay moving on!

 

I watched the Oscars (Frank and I texted all night though them sorry I’m done now) and I enjoyed the format this year.  I loved the idea that they created a 1940’s bandstand etc.  Let’s take a moment and enjoy Hugh Jackman and how delicious he was…the dresses were flawless.  It was just a great Oscar’s night…especially when “Milk” took home two prizes.  Sean Penn deserved the Oscar and I loved his speech especially when he lampooned those who voted for Prop. 8.  But, I think the best was when Dustin Lance Black won Best Original Screen play!!!!!!!  His speech brought me to tears….I’ll admit it.  When he told all those young “boys and girls that they were beautiful creatures and that god loves them”…it was beautiful.  I don’t know if he will realize that telling these young gay men and women that they were full of worth and value was an important and validating thing for many of them(us).  In a world of hate and marginalization Black spoke beautifully and poignantly about the value of human life even if that life is gay…what he said had more of an impact on me than any religion or religious person has said to me in a long time. 

 

 

Of course I was rooting for “Milk” to win best picture but I knew deep down inside when “Slumdog Millionaire” won at the SAG awards Best Picture it would take home the Oscar’s Best Picture.  I was so excited that Kate Winslet finally won an Oscar…and I loved all the Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress nominees.  I think they are great and that they will have long careers ahead of them.

 

On a final note I not only worked all weekend I also drove to Buffalo to go to a wedding with Lauren (she was in the bridal party and looked flawless).  Yes, Frank and I texted during the entire reception…now I’m done.  The wedding was beautiful and the reception was a blast.

 

Okay I’m done for now, I’m sorry for the long post and it’s randomness and obvious lack of form.  We will discuss my neurosis a little more once I find out if I am going out to dinner with Frank. 

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 I hope this finds everyone well and resting after an eventful Thanksgiving holiday.  I apologized, yet again, for life interfering with my blogging.  I know you have all been foaming at the mouth waiting for my next post 😉 

It has been a mess of two weeks.  My boss was out of the office for a week and I made a terrible assumption that the few days prior to my tiny Thanksgiving vacation would be low key…I was dead wrong.  Work turned out to be a mess of phone calls, projects, and other various tasks that had me wishing for my next cocktail.  Along with this and the ever present threat of snow in Erie (which never came) my trip home to Pittsburgh had me frazzled by the time Wednesday rolled around. 

I managed to finish work and head home.  I could only stay one day with my parents considering the coming Saturday would be a wedding reception I had to attend for the couple that was married in Oklahoma.  Thanksgiving was wonderful it was great being with  my full family and extended family on my Mother’s side…unfortunately I had to miss my second Thanksgiving dinner with my Father’s Italian side of the family due to the reception…which,  may I add, is punishable by Italian death!

I managed to get a visit in with my High School best friend, who’s Father got me drunk, then I fell off my first two steps of my porch…it was slick out (this was the day before Thanksgiving so no I wasn’t drinking and driving).  I arrived late Friday evening in Erie and caught some quick hang out time with Steve at his place of employment.  I still want to make out with him even though I know it will be a mistake.  Saturday I was up early pressing shirts, grooming myself for the reception and wrapping gifts etc.  Lauren picked me up and we were off to Ohio for the second reception.  We stayed at a nice hotel and the reception was a fun, drunken mess.  Lauren’s parents were there and all these great people from my Alma Mater.   The next day we had brunch with the groom, bride, and their families then it was off to Erie again…this time with the Bride’s friend from OK. We hit it off so well that he decided to come to the reception then crash with us until tonight.  He is a lot of fun but I can’t tell if he is gay or not.  He has straight tendencies then he will call me “honey” or refer to Lauren as “sweetie.”  Again I kinda want to make out with him but I think I’m not going to test those waters quite yet. 

So here I am two weeks later and bushed.  I thought after October life would settle down a bit and it hasn’t.  It seems to have dragged on into December.  All I know is that I’m going to be going steady, in terms of work and holiday preparation, until Dec. 24th…the day I get to drive home for Christmas.  Even then I don’t stop because along with my holiday festivities two days after Christmas I fly to DC for New Years.  I’m beside myself with everything.

On a political note…I’ve been more active in our LGBT community group.  We had a folding party last week to get the Erie Gay Newsletter out…we participated in the postcard mailing join the impact has been talking about.  What is really cool I don’t know if I’ve blogged about it yet is that Erie was featured in the Advocates blog on their website regarding our Prop 8 Protest!!!!  It was uber exciting and validating knowing smaller areas were getting some of the attention considering we had a smaller turn out then in places like San Francisco, New York etc.  We are planning other events and things to do in terms of gay activism.  One of the cool things we have been discussing is having a gathering at one of our local theaters to go see Milk (which I am dying to see!)

What else what else what else.

My love life or lack there of is in its typical state of gay mess.  I am still “seeing” John even if it’s for even games of gay wrestling.  I managed to give my number to the guy that Lauren works with at her second job.  I made another assumption thinking he was more my speed and that he would call me…and I wrong again.  2008 has not been the year of men for Sammy.  It’s the typical fashion for dating recently with me…but it’s okay the spell should be broken…right!?!?!?!!?  Then there’s Steve.  Steve and I have been hanging out pretty regularly.  I think it is safe to say that he is one of my first true gay friends that I can commiserate with.  It’s nice to have someone like that.  I mean Lauren is great but she’s not gay and it’s a little harder for straight people to understand the inner workings of us gay men.  And I’m sure she is sick and tired of hearing me rant on and on about being gay.  The problem with Steve is that I can’t rectify my feelings for him.  It started out with me wanting him, then not wanting him, then being his friend then still wanting to make out with him.  I look at him and I can see potential boyfriend material.  He’s a little rough around the edges and yes he is brash with what he says but there is something of a decent moral fabric there….but then again I’m typing with my rose colored glasses on and that has the tendency to get me in trouble.  He needs some fine tuning but he’s got some character.  But I’m not sure if he is attracted to me.  I am stuck in the hard place of wanting to see if something happens, not wanting to scare away my first gay friend…ugh it’s just a big old gray area. 

 

Well that is about it for now.  I hope you all are gay readers are continuing checking in with join the impact.  We have day without gay coming up and so on.  We have to keep ourselves active and continue working for our rights! 

 

I hope you all are doing well and had a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving!!!!!!  I hope it was filled with tons of food (especially turkey my favorite!!!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tons of pie

 

 

 

 And perhaps some sweet man candy 😉

 

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Hello everyone!  I thought I would catch up with you very quickly.  It seems since last Wednesday, when we had our gay rally, that I’ve been going full tilt and haven’t had the ability to get my feet back under me.  We planned on Wednesday for the rally.  It was cool to connect with the older gay community and they made me, Lauren, Lucy, and Steve (yes Steve I’ve kinda had a thing for) feel very welcome.

 

I ended up scribing for our group.  There were two; I guess you would say leaders, for us, one gay guy and one straight pastor.  We discussed a variety of plans to show our solidarity.  What we decided on was solidarity bands for our arms, red, white, and blue (because we are all American citizens) speakers, including myself and Lauren (which made me nervous because I’m not completely out) and then there was a symbolic wedding ceremony wedding all us gays and our supporters.  Our protest was set for this past Saturday on the Erie County Court House steps at 1:30pm. 

 

The meeting was great but there was one problem.  The straight pastor kept trying to keep things civil.  It was the whole “you can’t fight hate with hate” idea.  Which is a wonderful idea but I was hot under the collar.  I wanted some loud protests.  I wanted us to be expressive; I wanted us to use a mega-phone etc.  But this pastor kept it civil, which is probably better but to be quite frank I want people to be scared of us.  I want people to be scared of us not because we are gay but because we mean business.  I don’t force my sexuality on anyone and when people feel the need to force their own moral belief on what a marriage is on me I want them to know that I don’t like it.  I want people to take stock in what I have to say, I want to be heard and I want them to listen and answer me.  But that is just me and this being my first rally I didn’t think it would have been to great of me to high jack the rally and go on a religious crusade looking for the mormons.  I kid…and not that their would be a ton of mormons in Erie…I digress.

 

Also this weekend we celebrated a late birthday bar crawl for me but it was Lauren’s birthday as well.  So we had friends staying at our place from Friday until Sunday…then on Sunday Lauren’s parents and siblings came down to visit for the afternoon.  Needless to day I was constantly going this weekend.  In fact I ended up taking a mental health day yesterday.  Not only did I sleep in, I cleaned our kitchen and bathroom, did the dishes, baked a cake for Lauren’s birthday (I wanted to do laundry but our washer and dryer was out of order), and I wrapped gifts.  It was very busy.  Then I had two business meetings this morning. 

 

The Saturday rally was awesome.  We got an early lunch and talked about gay stuff then headed over to the court house.  We were there with our signs and umbrellas (it rained), we had our solidarity ribbons on etc.  There were a couple of speakers one of them was a lesbian I went to college with that I didn’t know was a lesbian…and I saw another girl who was a partner with me in a class that turn out was a lesbian too.  It was like we all came out to each other coming to the rally.  It was a weird but awesome moment!  Both Lauren and I spoke on the steps of the courthouse.  It was scary but empowering.  We briefly talked about how straight people need to be our voices to and help promote gay marriage and I talked about how I was a gay man and how it was unbelievable that people still try to take our rights away from us in 2008 etc.  We had between 80 to 150 people it was hard to estimate.  We ended up on a variety of news outlets.  It was really cool and empowering.  I felt like a part of a community for the first time.  There were no real protestors protesting us.  We did have a variety of people drive past and beep for us from their cars which was awesome.  Afterwards we went to a coffee house with others from the community and other supporters.  It was cool getting to know others.  Plus I’ve decided to try and get a little more into some community activism.  So we will see how it goes.  Overall it has been going going going.  I want to say that I’m ready for Thanksgiving break but it is going to be just as busy at break as it is now.  I have work stuff on Friday, a dental appointment on Monday, then home for Thanksgiving back to Erie the next day, then over to Ohio for another wedding reception for the couple from Oklahoma then we have a friend staying with us until the first Tuesday of Dec and lets not forget the whole Christmas shopping deal that is coming up.  whew…  So that’s about it in a nut shell.

 

In terms of the dating world; Craig and I are still seeing each other intermittently for gay wrestling matches.  I’m still making attempts to take Lauren’s co-worker on a date but I can never seem to ask him or catch him when he is at work….Steve and I are now friends.  I still want to make out with him but not much else…or at least I keep telling myself that.  It’s nice to have a gay friend though.  We’ve been hanging out much more lately.  It is weird cause I feel like I like him, but I wonder if it’s just me liking having a gay friend and then some of the things he says about past ex’s makes me anxious.  So I don’t know what is going on. 

 

On a final note…winter has finally come to Erie.  We got something like 2 feet from Sunday into Monday…the Farmer’s Almanac says it going to be bad this winter…did I ever mention I hate the Farmer’s Almanac.

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Alright bitches I am back and I am alive after my wedding adventure.  So let me give you the lowdown on the event.  Traveling was fine, I had a half day of work then Lauren and I drove to Pittsburgh flew from there to Hotlanta then from Hotlanta to Oklahoma City.  The Bride and Groom to be were waiting at the gates for us and it was a wonderful reunion.  That was Tuesday evening.  Wednesday and Thursday were spent visiting and doing minor wedding chores…and mellowing out the grooms Mother who was on high wedding alert.  We bottled barbeque sauce (which was the favor at the reception as well as a donation to a local charity for each person that attended), we also picked up Oklahoma paraphernalia for the out of town guests (they had boxes waiting for them when they checked into their hotel rooms…the boxes had all sorts of Oklahoma goodies). 

 

Let me tell you Oklahoma is flat, I was informed by the native Okies that there were in fact mountains, but I am having a hard time believing it.  Also, apparently Oklahoma is the home of the largest hill in the world…LOL.  P.S. I was waiting to see my first tornado, I know it wasn’t tornado season but a boy can hope can’t he?!

 

It was nice being there a few days early to just catch up with the bride and groom.  I haven’t seen the bride since she graduated college and the groom I saw last month at Homecoming.  We played cards and just hung out, it was nice considering Thursday started the wedding madness. 

 

Thursday we ran some errands and groomsmen, bridesmaids, family and friends started arriving.  That night we had a progressive dinner with several of the bride’s family friends.  Some of the friends had some old oil money and were a little on the high falutten side.  We ended up at this trashy 80’s bar where Lauren and I (drunk) brought the funk and fun.  We lit the place up if I do say so myself.  We showed Oklahoma what Erie socialites can do.  Afterwards we ended the night at another really down home backwater bar doing Irish Car Bombs and these delicious ice cold drinks called Lunch Boxes…they were WONDERFUL!!!!! They tasted like orange tic-tacs and were very refreshing.  After that we retired because Friday would be the rehearsal dinner and Saturday was the wedding.

 

Saturday was a mess between tux fittings, laser tag with the groom his family and all the groomsmen, showers, and getting to the church on time it was just a packed day.  The rehearsal dinner was wonderful the food good and the booze flowed.  Afterwards we were went back to the brides home and had a nice get together.  The women stayed inside and the men went outside to smoke stogies and drink rusty nails (Lauren hung out with the guys LOL).  Then it was time to head to the hotel with the other groomsmen.  Uuuumm the hotel rocked.  It was built in 1911 and it was just cool.  Check out some of the pics below.

 

 

 

 

This would be the piano bar we sat in!

 

 

 

Saturday the groomsmen had it pretty easy.  We just had to get to the church early.  The tuxes were still problematic but we made do.  The wedding was beautiful.  The bride was in this lovely lacy gown that complimented her beautifully…it had a certain Spanish feel to it. 

 

The bride’s father, who is training to be a deacon, gave a reflection that was beautiful.  The only problem with the whole ceremony was that the priest kept referring to the bride and groom finding each other due to their love of god.  I could help but feel a little put off by that assumption.  I mean, for myself, organized religion is not my cup of tea.  But I think it takes a little romance out of finding true love by believing it was because you believed in god.  I don’t know I just felt it makes finding love less of an adventure and more a chance based on your devotion to a higher being.  Of course, considering my currently lack of romance and love life (yes I will talk some about Craig) perhaps I am wrong and I should start praying now before I age and become the proverbial cat lady/man.

 

After the ceremony came pictures all over Oklahoma City….it was a ton of fun but by the time we showed up at the reception I was exhausted and hungry.  For the reception we were atop the tallest building in Oklahoma City, the Chase Building in the Devon Room of the Petroleum Club…needless to say it was breath taking.  Let me paint a picture for you there was a live band which played all the old jazz standards.  The bride and groom are dancing their first dance together to “Fly Me to the Moon” and as they are dancing the shades to the 15 foot windows go up to reveal a magnificent sunset over the city….I was stunned.  It was just amazing; it felt like an old movie with a ton of glitz and glamour!  (Check out some of the pics below)  We ate and danced the night away and once the reception ended I found myself with a bunch of friends in our hotels piano bar.  There we sat listening to great piano music, swilling our drinks and just having a great time.

 

 

 This is just to give you an idea of the view from the Chase Building!

 

 

 

That would be our hotel!

 

I can’t seem to find anymore pics of the view…once I load my pics I took I’ll put a few more up. 

 

 

Now I know what you’re asking, “did Sammy get an action,” the answer is no but there were some very cute groomsmen.  But I have to say the highlight, in terms of hotness, was one of the friends of the family of the groom that came to Oklahoma.  I met him when we went to play laser tag.  It was really funny because I’m came ready to play all grunged up with ratty jeans and tennis shoes while some of the guys wore loafers etc.  This guy, his name is Matt, was wearing loafers of some sort and skinny black jeans and didn’t look like the kind of guy who played laser tag.  We exchanged pleasantries and conversation and after laser tag I didn’t see him until I was in an elevator going up to my room from brunch the next day.  Again we chatted and I didn’t think anything of it…it wasn’t until we were sitting in the piano bar that I noticed how cute he was.  It was an unconventional cute.  He was built or had huge muscles…in fact he was tall and skinny, he had shortish brown hair, hazel eyes, a real nice smile, some stubble, and a kinda square chin…and he was wearing a bowtie.  Not usually what I look for in a guy but I have to admit I was smitten.  So we are sitting in the piano bar and I am there with a bunch of people I know who are friends of the bride and groom from college and Matt is just sitting there not talking to anyone.  So I motion for him to come over and chat.  There no actual chairs to sit in but more like over sized ottomans that we lounged on.  So he comes over and I was standing up to move when he did something that was peculiar.  My back was kinda turned to him and he takes his fingers and kinda presses them into my sides.  It was, I don’t want to say weird, but not something I expected from him since we had met only a few days before.  It was a personal kind of touch, at least for me.  It wasn’t one of those fingers pressed into your sides to illicit a laughing fit or pain, it was just a quick squeeze with his first two fingers…maybe he was way of saying get the hell out of my way but wouldn’t that be a weird way to say it…anyway…it’s not a place many people just touch me there unless I know them.  It’s kind of like the small of woman’s back.  It made my head spin a little, and I ended up a little light headed, that a guy would get that close and personal with me especially considering we were just acquaintances.  I have to admit it I liked it.  So we sit and end up having a spectacular conversation.  We talked about college, and writing, typewriters, period movies etc.  It was everything I wanted in a conversation with a man that I could see myself dating.  The conversation flowed easily, he was charming and I was swooning.  I really think that if he had asked me to go back to his room I would have readily left the party.  He is a Senior in college studying 19th century (or 18th century) French Lit and something else…he wants to be a college professor…I was on an intellectual high when he mentioned the kicker…he had girlfriend….son of a bitch.  Just my luck…*Sammy shakes his head*  So in my unrelenting politeness we chat about her…she is currently out of the country, I think in Russia or Germany…I can’t quite remember…or is it I didn’t care…oh well.  She’s been gone for 6 months and all I could think was 6 months and in a different country…it would be okay for him to let off a little bit of steam, with me.  No, no, no, I couldn’t be a home wrecker…but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to be.  As the night progressed we ended but being shuffled away from one another do to the flow of people.  As the night closed I did manage to slip him my email address.  What I’m allowed to have email correspondences with cute guys.  One of the nice things though is that in November we have another reception for the bride and groom in the grooms home town that we are all invited too; I’ve got my fingers crossed that he will be there….please please please.

 

Okay so this is staring to become an increasingly longer post than I had intended.  I know it can be a pain reading long posts…The trip back to Erie was wonderful and here I am today.  I don’t want to over burden you guys with longs post….oh shoot I forgot about the other hot groomsman that I have a slight man crush on…okay I am going to post about that later this week.  Now thinking about it I have a ton of things to post about….Joe this other groomsman, Craig, and I think I might even put up a flavors of the week post.  Well I’m signing off for now but don’t fret I’ll be back.

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I know all of you that read my blog are feeling neglected and miss my gay musings. I apologize!  My event for work is done but things are still flying by.  I am impressed with how booked my October has been.  So here are a few quick updates.

 

Last weekend was low key lots of laundry and wedding gift shopping.   I have an uber big wedding I’m attending in Oklahoma the second to last week this month.  Both myself and Lauren are going to be in the wedding.  Unfortunately, I will be unable to blog that weekL.  I also have two back to back weddings this weekend.  The nice thing is that I am just a guest.  Whew just dancing, eating, and drinking.

 

On the dating front….things are still a big old gay muddled mess.  I met Craig out for drinks on Monday…it resulted in LOTS of fooling around in his car.  It was welcomed!  I tried to let Craig know that I wasn’t really looking for anything official; I’m just looking for STF aka sexy time friends.  That may be mean but its true.  I just hope he understands.  We have emailed back and forth and talked on the phone a couple of times.  I have offered myself up to have some fun times but he doesn’t seem to respond to my advances.  I can’t figure out if he is just worried about it, or the age difference is too much (I am five years younger than his last boyfriend), or if he is looking for something more in terms of a relationship (which I’m not in the market for as of yet).  He certainly seemed interested while his hands were down my pants.  But then again, I am advocating a no strings attached fuck buddy kind of thing (excuse the swear, but I have no idea what else to call it other than “friends who occasionally see each other naked and do gay things to each other”) LOL.  I’m sure this comes with the territory.  It will be nice to have a weekend free where I don’t have to think about it…although I do hope to get a salacious text from him or something.

 

With that in mind I consider myself still on the market.  Lauren just discussed with me a coworker that she has who she believes is gay and she seems to think we would be a good fit.  I have stopped by at her work and she’s pointed him out to me.  So last night I made an emergency stop at her place of employment with Lucy in the hopes of introducing myself to him.  IT WORKED!!!!  After some minor shopping, you wouldn’t believe what you home with from a store when you specifically go there to flirt with a guy, Lucy and I stepped into line.  As we are standing there I ask him about his other job and he looks at me confused and I casually mention that Lauren who works with him has mentioned him a couple of times and that it was nice to put a face and a name together.  I introduce myself and Lucy to him he shakes my hand.  Nice firm grip…he is quiet spoken, taller than me, short almost buzzed reddish blond/brown hair, he has a beard…there is a certain dreamy quality about him.  Something happened to work out in my favor, I couldn’t find an item in the store so someone had to go and get it for me…they left me at the checkout allowing me some quality time to flirt SCORE.  Lucy and I get into an economic discussion while he checked someone out as I waited for my item.  Afterward he finished the check out he ended up commenting on our conversation that we were having between us meaning he was listening!!!  So my item comes and I check out, just before I leave I lean over and say to him “it was nice to meet you” and I think I said I hope to see him again.  I think I’m not sure but besides that he responded with something like “I’ll see you again” or something like that.  So it was a good gay flirting adventure.  We’ll see what happens.

 

So that’s the mess known as my love life at the moment.

 

Also, in the political rant realm I would like to say

 

 VOTE NO TO PROPOSITION 8!!

 

I’m over these people trying to stop gay marriage.  If you vote for it you are simply voting against the “equal protection clause of the California Constitution.”  Basically what people are saying is that every one is due equal protection except when it involves two men or women who love each other and want to be married.  People are fucking hypocrites (and I’m not sorry about that swear).

 

For those of you who do not know what Proposition 8 is let me explain.  When two men want to marry each other, in California, previously they would run into a little problem called Prop 22.  Prop 22 defined, in California, marriage as being between a man and a woman.  Just as a side note, at one point in time in California their marriage language looked like this “…defined marriage as: “a personal relation arising out of a civil context, to which consent of the parties making that contract is necessary.””  Sounds pretty gay friendly doesn’t it?  Well eventually those people who can’t handle to men loving one another (and women loving women) managed to get Prop 22 passed thus gay marriage was done for.  That was until May of 2008 when the California Supreme Court declared that Prop 22 violated the California Constitution.  To the happy gay couples of CA this meant that they could marry, and marry they have.  Now in a desperate legal turn individuals have produced Proposition 8.  This is basically the same language as Prop 22 only if it wins in the voting booths in November, Proposition 8 will change the language of the California Constitution.   This means the equal protection, guaranteed by the California Constitution, guarding will be done away with. 

 

Literally the words protecting the right for men to men and women to marry women will be erased from the law.  A RIGHT THAT WE DESEVER WILL BE TAKEN AWAY FROM US.  I DON’T KNOW HOW CLEARLY I CAN STATE THIS.  LET ME TRY AGAIN….LEGALLY PEOPLE WILL TAKE AWAY A RIGHT THAT WE WANT, DESERVE, AND CURRENTLY HAVE IN CALIFORNIA.

 

Now let me say this if you are gay and living in California and not registered to vote then shame on you.  This is important for the gay community.  I don’t care if you don’t believe in marriage or don’t want to get married.  There are a significant amount of others that do want to get married and because you didn’t register to vote you are basically apathetic.  Rights that we want are being taken away from us and you can’t even go register to vote is offensive.  Those hypocrites that want to take away our rights depend on people like you with your apathy to help rewrite state Constitutions to their liking.  It’s sickening.  Also, if you are registered to vote and vote for Proposition 8 I think all your rights should be taken away from you…do you like talk of taking away your rights.  I didn’t think so. 

 

 

 

Finally, I would like to point some things out about the VP debates from last week.  First, I love LOVE that Palin can tolerate me, lucky me (ahem dry sarcasm).  Secondly, go figure they would spend only two questions on the whole gay marriage issue, once again we gays are second fiddle to the economy and foreign policies.  Finally, I am a liberal Democrat and I would vote for Obama except Biden exemplified exactly the reason why I find it hard to vote for them.  Biden stood in the national spot light and said he would protect gay rights (notice he said rights but never said marriage) but when asked if he believed in gay marriage he said personally no, the same with Obama.  Now I know it is nice to finally have an Administration that will to some extent fight for gay rights, but publically Biden said he didn’t believe in gay marriage.  I have to be passionate about my gay rights because there are many people who will not back them.  How can I vote for someone that only goes halfway?  He will protect gay rights but he doesn’t believe in gay marriage.  Isn’t marriage a right I should have?  It’s like me saying something like, women can vote but I personally don’t think they should vote or be in the political world. 

 

I’ve voiced this to several of my friends who are upset over the fact that this issue is keeping me from voting for Obama (and may I say I would never vote for McCain).  I’ve been told it’s the best I have right now.  Well, why do I have to settle, am I not allowed to want more from my President and Vice President?  It’s like being paid lip service.  If Obama or Biden don’t believe in gay marriage personally how can I expect them to fight for it on a nation wide level if need be?  It’s not an issue that can just be swept under the rug.  How can I be sure that they would be passionate advocates as others are about gay rights and marriage?  I want a politician who believes in what they say on a political and personal level and perhaps that’s more than I can ask from someone but I truly believe it is something that should be asked of our leaders. 

 

Well that’s about it for now…I know it’s long but I had a lot to say.  Have a great weekend.  Let me know your thoughts about Prop 8 and the VP debate.

 

Here’s hoping all of you get lucky this weekend!!!!!!!

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I hope this finds you well and enjoying your Friday.  Things are good with me, busy, but good.  There are a couple things I’d like to cover.

 

First a questions:  Since I can see Canada from Erie does that mean I have foreign policy experience?  I’m just wondering.

 

Secondly, perhaps if Bush wasn’t to busy trying to invade Afghanistan and Iraq, or trying to define marriage as being between a man and a woman we wouldn’t be in our current financial mess.  ASSHOLE.  For the record, Bush and his buddies were given a surplus of $128 billion.  Check out the article. 

 

 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/07/28/2009.deficit/index.html

 

As far as I’m concerned it’s we middle class folk that will be the ones carrying the burden.  Can anyone else see the disconnect that the republicans have with the working class?  What concerns me the most about it is that I’m starting to get use to it.  Isn’t that awful?  Gas prices soar, I have to get use to it.  Food prices skyrocket, I have to get use to it.  The American financial system is a mess; I’ll get use to it.  It’s like I wake up everyday and see some new and senseless problem our government has gotten us into and I’m not surprised any more.

 

One more thing on my political rantyness (I know it’s not a real word).  I love how Palin met with 9 foreign leaders in 30 hours this week.  There’s nothing like a cram session before the debates.  HHHEEEELLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO I don’t know about anyone else but when I would cram for a test the end result was never in my favor. 

 

As for the upcoming debates I would just like to say I hope Palin is ready one, because of the lack of foreign policy experience, and two because she is a woman.  For those of you who will cry that sexism will run rampant and that Biden should go easy on her, you can all go to hell.  We are in a fast paced political arena and Palin had better be ready to carry her own.  This self proclaimed barracuda will have to do battle in the media spotlight and frankly it isn’t going to be pretty.  The other thing is would the world have been willing to give Hillary Clinton an easy run at the debates.  Hell no, they would have tried to tear her apart. 

 

Okay I know I could go on and on about this forever (except its making me sick) but we have more important things to cover…like my love life…or lack there of.

 

 

So currently I’m torn.  I have Steve on one hand.  He’s cute and totally out but he has a certain roughness about him.  Some of the things he has said has been harsh or a little mean.  I’ve had several friends tell me that I could do better which is new dynamic in flirting with him.  Also, I came out to him “officially” a couple nights ago and I think it changed the flirting that was occurring between us.  I don’t want to flirt with him but I just can’t help myself.   Have you ever noticed that when people say they can’t help themselves it usually ends badly with said person having to admit that they made a huge error or lapse in their judgment…I don’t like that.  But when I’m around him I just can’t stop.  I get all school girlish and I’m not normally like that. 

 

Then I have Dave the older guy that sexually harassed me this week (jesus that sounds like a messed up line…Dear Diary, I’m crushin’ on the man that sexually harassed me (said in a school girl voice)).  We exchanged several emails and I find that I’m aroused at the fact that he is older and hitting on me.  But he doesn’t strike me as my type.  If we were ever to get together to do man “activities” I really think it would just be for the gratification of it.  I try not to do fall into that stereotype of instant self gratification that we gays sometime find ourselves stamped with, but my hormones sometimes over power my ability to make sound decisions.

 

I’m very torn…and horny…a dangerous combination…ugh.

 

On a brighter note, it is my almater’s homecoming and Lauren and I have a ton of friends that are in town and staying with us.  I’m uber excited about it.  One because I love my college, two I love my friends, but three, I hope it will take my mind off my current crush crisis.  There will be ample booze to sample and food to eat.  We have our football game etc and its always such a great time!

 

I’ll let you know how the weekend goes in my next post.  Wish me luck with the boys and have a fun filled weekend! Don’t stay indoors blogging to much the days are getting colder, enjoy the weather!

 

 

 

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