Archive for the ‘crotch’ Category

Alright let me pick up where I have left off.  As I mentioned I was torn between two guys Steve the meanie guy that flirts with me and the older sexual harassment guy…we’ll call him Craig.  I also left off with my Alma Mater’s Homecoming looming.  Homecoming was a spectacular blast.  We had tons of people stay with me and Lauren at our place lots of booze, lots of fun etc.  Friday night I had a slight development with Steve.  We were both drunk at my Alma Mater’s favorite bar hangout and having a broken conversation.  He did not go to my college but he came with several friends to hang out will all us alums.  We end up leaving, he got a ride home with friends, me in a taxi with a few other friends and we start texting.  I managed to get back into my bedroom and crash on my floor when I get a text from Steve “I want you in my mouth”….abuhhhhhhhh.  I was flattered, excited, and somewhat confused by this exclamation.  We had flirted but in the back of my mind I had not really thought anything would have come of Steve.  I’m drunk and I’m pretty sure I send a text back that wasn’t sexual in nature but ponderus…my cell phone blinks with a response from Steve, “ I want to suck  you off”…could my 11 months of strike outs with the boys finally have worn off?  Have I just scored a homerun?…my cell phone blinks again.  It’s Steve, “j/k”….what in the world I wonder, then another text “just kidding.”  At this point, between the massive amount of booze circulating in my system and these weird text messages, I’m totally confused.  We text for a few more minutes when he tells me he is texting his EX-BOYFRIEND…I pass out downtrodden. 


The next day I receive a text from him apologizing for the perverted texts…I haven’t texted him in three days.  Needless to say, the universe screwed me over again, not surprisingly.  I’m sad but not surprised.  For the moment Steve is out of the picture.  I don’t time or patience to worry about a guy who is hung up on his ex when I took the time to flirt and make myself available to him.  Available for dating and such…what kind of available are you thinking of?????


The rest of the weekend goes of without a stitch.  It isn’t until Monday that things get interesting.  So I am at work and Craig and I have been emailing each other.  Mostly about the event I’m hosting but there are flirty nuances in the emails.  So I give him my personal email.  In one email I ask him what he is doing.  He responds going to a movie, and asks if I like Woody Allen films (queue the Juno Quote “Woody Allen! I love Woody Allen.”  That’s would be Juno’s friend Leah who is flirting with an older teacher…the situation is reminiscent to my own at the moment).  I tell him I don’t mind them and that my evening was going to consist of going to a lecture about Civil Rights, MLK, and the political race with Obama.  He then asks me to join him at the movies….hello Vicky Christina Barcelona good bye Civil Rights lecture.  (I couldn’t help myself…you would do the same)  So we meet at the theater.  He had a couple of free passes so we go in and it is me and him and these two older people.  Drat, I totally would have made out with him in the theater.  The movie was awesome and we then go out for drinks…I’m thinking this is kinda like a date but kinda not.  After two hours of drinking and talking and A LOT of touching, he asks if I would like a tour of his house…meager come on but I am totally down with it.  We get back to his house and I do get a tour and then the real fun began.


I know I know you probably want all the fun and gay details…I’ll give you just a few.  It was fun, after 11 months I know I still got it, it was fun, I still have a few scraps of dignity still intact, it was fun, no we didn’t go all the way, it was still fun, and I might be meeting up with him on Sunday….did I mention it was fun!


After our fun all I could think is of that moment in Under the Tuscan Sun where Diane Lane has sex for the first time after her divorce and she’s bouncing all over her room chanting “I still got it… (grabs chest)…I still got it…(laying on her back kicking her legs like an excited child…I…Still…Got….It.”  I had the same type of reaction, it just wasn’t in my bedroom therefore it was a little reserved.  Note the picture below



So I don’t know where this is going.  I am not putting to much thought into it.  He is older than me; perhaps we are friends that just like to fool around…I don’t know and I’m not going to try and label quite yet…I’m sure that won’t last long though…that’s my neurosis talking.


P.S. He gave me his cold……

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My apologizes bloggers; I’ve not be as attentive to my blog as recently as I should be.  (Insert lame excuse)…I’m currently working on a project that will take place in October and I have been eating, drinking, and sleeping said event for the past two weeks….I think it might be getting to me.  But, don’t worry as of October 8th the project will be done and I will be able to blog a little more!!!!!


Here are a few updates I would like to touch on.


First, on Friday night as some of you may recall I went out to visit an older gay man from Erie.  I had no intention of thinking it was a date or anything like that.  In my mind it was either going to be a friendly meeting or one that would end in some man action.  It was just a friendly meeting.  So we met and my fears of being murdered by a psychopath were immediately put to rest.  He was very nice and cordial.  So we chatted compared political notes, preferences in men, celebrity crushes (Hugh Jackman…swoon) etc.  It was for all intensive purposes a nice meeting.  I decided early on, while I find older men attractive and enjoy attention from older guys (weird I know) that it would have never worked out between us.  I could tell from out conversation.  When I check my email on Monday he made it adequately clear in an email that we couldn’t date.  He mentioned that if he was 20 years younger we could have possibly dated.  The line made me think that we might have been out on a date, but needless to say I was a little confused by the whole thing.  So that is that…I’ve made a gay friend…yyyiiipppeee.


Secondly, you guys will enjoy this one.  Earlier on Friday I was attending several meetings around the Erie area for this big event I’m doing.  I meet with people in my field it is usually one or two people and myself.  The meeting itself lasts usually no more that 20 minutes; until I met Dave.  So I walk into an office and meet with this man.  Initial thoughts were as follows.  He is wearing a black shirt (some stains on it, it was dress down day at his office) jeans and shell top sneakers.  He is really tan (and I’m thinking via a tanning booth but I can’t confirm) His teeth are bleached white; he is about 40 years old, maybe a little younger or older.  I come to the conclusion he is either gay or an aging hipster.  I turn around and see a purple sarong tacked to his office wall and decide that more than likely he is gay.  We greet one another and I get this vague thought that he seems familiar but I couldn’t really place my finger on it so I dismiss it.  We begin talking and the next thing I know he rounds his desk and is standing immediately to my left (while I am still sitting in my chair).  He has totally invaded my personal space and I’m kinda trying to figure out what is going on.  It would be at that point he TOTALLY RUBBED HIS CROTCH ON MY LEFT ELBOW.  Yes you read right full on crotch rub to the elbow.  I’m stunned and the rubbing continues its kinda light then he would bump his crotch on by elbow a little.  I’m having serious ethical and moral issues at this moment.  One, is he doing it purposefully, two, I should be upset because I was totally being sexually harassed three, I shouldn’t be but I was totally enjoying it.  I know what you are thinking TACKLESS.  Sammy is being totally tackless, but I would be lying if I didn’t say that I enjoyed that fact that a semi-good looking older man found me attractive.  It’s a nice boost of self confidence but is a boost in self confidence grounds for sexual harassment?


For anyone who is straight and reads this, notice how I completely responded to sexual harassment in the opposite way normal people do. 


So I move my arm to my side and he sits down beside me.  We do the meeting thing and I’m still confused as to what had happened when all of a sudden he invites me to sit behind his computer to show him information regarding my place of employment.


Moral dilemma 2:  Should Sammy One, say that he is uncomfortable about using his computer and end the meeting and leave, or two,  use this moment to talk up his place of employment and get him interested in it (which incidentally might help my place of employment if I get him excited about it).  I choose two…I’m a whore what can I say.  If he thinks he can rub his crotch on me, I’m totally going to use it to my advantage.  He crossed the work ethics line first, I am just responding naturally…with the hopes to make some gain out of it…don’t judge I’m just playing the game and I’ll be damned if I sit by and have my elbow rubbed by a man and me not get any gain out of it.  I sit down at his desk and right on queue….the crotch is bumping and rubbing against my elbow.  He would reach over me for the mouse and graze me and I am just dumbfounded by this blatant harassment and the fact that he is aroused by me.  So after a bit of this I finish and prepare to leave, this is when my being sexually harassed pays off.  I score several phone numbers and emails of people I can branch out to for my job.  Was it worth it…I really don’t know.  Now comes the awkward part.  We get to a point in our conversation where we are having awkward silences.  (Much like when some wants to ask you out on a date or for you phone number and they are scared to do it) There was stuttering and murmuring and I shake his hand and go to leave….about halfway down the hall he starts to follow me…he stops me we talk a few more minutes…awkward pauses and starts in our conversation…and he mentions that we will be at a few meetings together in the upcoming months…I say goodbye and leave.


I am totally confused at this point in my day, he has rubbed his crotch all over my elbow, with out so much as a drink offer, I’m not sure I can even call it sexual harassment because I’m flattered at the attention, and then to think we are going to see each other later…it is all just to much for me.


So I go to work, I meet my older man friend out, then I head out to the bars to visit a friend that is in town.  My sister shows up; her and her roommates get drunk I take them home and I start driving home.  It is about 12:30/1:00 in the morning and I am thinking about my being sexually harassed when it comes to me.  I’m guessing this is what it was like when Newton discovered gravity…everything clicking into place questions that you’ve had are answered easily by your new found awareness.  Not that I discovered anything as significant as gravity but at that moment I realized I knew Dave.  Dave had been at a gay bar that I had frequented hitting on the bartender from several posts ago (it was the karaoke bar).  I almost drove my car off of the road at my epiphany.  Dave and his couple of friends sat in front of me and Lucy and Lauren when we went to the bar and I am able to identify him by his glasses.  What I like to pay attention to the finer details of people.  No I am pretty sure Dave knew who I was before hand prompting the uninvited gay sexual harassment.  It just blew my mind…and now I have to see him again at several of these meetings we will be attending.


I would like to go on but this blog has gone on exceptionally long.  More about this later!

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