Ladies and Gentlemen….I Have Returned….yes after an extended Christmas and New Year’s Holdiay I’m back and sexier than ever!
I’m sure you’ve been tossing and turning over the lack of posts recently (or at least I tell myself this ;)) Let’s cover a few things. First, I know I could have posted updates from home over the holiday season, but if I would do this I would risk the inevitable discovery of my blog by my loving parents. They are wonderful people and still are not quite sure how to handle their 27 year old son’s gayness…yes they know that I’m gay, yes they love me as is, but it is still a work in process….I can’t have them discovering my blog and them seeing the outlandish things I’ve done (yet!)…nor could I ever stomach explaining to my Mother what hook-ups mean….so at the moment I am still nurturing an on-going gay conversation I have with my parents.
Secondly, I still have to blog about the final Bruce Springsteen show in Buffalo….I’m not sure how to do it yet without sounding to crazed!
Thirdly, Christmas was Christmas…I got some nice swag from the rents and my Sister, what I really want to discuss New Year’s Resolutions…..lets pick up there!
Let me begin by explaining that I typically choose a myriad of resolutions…not because I’m an over achiever, more so to allow me to not follow through with all of them yet still accomplish some. Perfect yes, I’ve beaten the system yet again! But I do have to pride myself on my choices of resolutions this year. They are as follows:
- My most spectacular one is to be more like Martha Stewart. Yes, I’m going to achieve the unimaginable by becoming just like Martha, sans any criminal involvement…all while playing the Ukulele (I’ll explain the Uke in a bit). I’ve decided I have to pull myself together and get my life in some semblance of order. I have a variety of projects that have fallen by the way side…I’m 27 and I need to get my shit together. Along with that…I’m going to make stuff…tons of stuff…then give it away. Yes Christmas next year will be a veritable array of hand-crafted gifts! But to do this I have to make every moment of the day count. I have to suspect Martha wastes no time (granted she has a bunch of assistants (whom she makes wear collared shirts while doing her bidding) and I don’t….unless you count Lauren….who doesn’t realize that I’ve handpicked her to be my assistant….I’m sure to her dismay…this could possibly be the longest year of her god given life…and she doesn’t even know it yet). But I plan on utilizing every minute I can doing things! I’m sure I’ve put myself on the fast track to being burnt out but it’s the new year…what’s the good in doing things if you can’t complain about them at the end of the New Year…am I right?!
- My time from Number 1 will be filled with the following reading more, learning to play the Ukulele, and training for a marathon. I said train…I’m not sure if I can do it, but I’m going to train and if I feel like I can do it I will sign up for it before May…what I needed a pillow in case I get sick of running. As for the Ukulele….I’ve decided to learn how to play it for several reasons 1) it looks fun 2)it doesn’t look to hard (to being the operative word) 3) use the Uke to boost my popularity…I mean who doesn’t love a drunk friend who can bust out his Ukulele and play “All the Single Ladies” super popularity here I come.
- Create elixir that will turn the world gay. This one might be on the back burner for some time…but I can dream correct.
- Graduate School Applications and searching for a new job. I need a change of scenery…after the way Mother Nature unleashed her hatred on Erie these past several days (and all into next week) it is time to move on and do something bigger, bolder, and more bad assed!
- I’ve decided to play hard to get in the New Year. Since coming out my romantic life has been lack luster at best and touched with desperation….well no more my friends! This boy will no longer be looking for love…it will have to come to me. Between my forays into wild gay shenanigans and bouts of rejection I’ve looked for a solid good guy to date with no avail, but I have heard the old adage from my friends….the moment you stop looking love will find you…..people people people consider who you are saying this to….I’m a gay man who has come out of the closet….I’ve waited for years and love hasn’t found me…..do understand what it’s like to be closeted and then all of sudden be out of the closet then be told wait some more and love will find you….it’s absurd! I scoff at this notion and do to this day…but I’ve decided I will try it. Gone are the days of passing my phone number on a napkin (sheepishly I do that…stop please no lectures!), I’m going to limit my pining for the unattainable and I’m just going to go out and have fun. They will have to come to me….I think those are the scariest words I’ve typed all day (currently in my head my inner dialog is saying something to this affect….what if they don’t come to you……..gulp….then I’m in a huge mess…eeep.) Now let’s get this straight I’m not giving up sex, or making out, or the occasionally night of heavy petting. Nope…..I will stop trying so hard and if a situation like the above occurs I will choose whether or not to proceed. In summary for 5: Stop trying so hard J (this is going to be a hard one)
- Work on more gay rights issues…I think this speaks for itself and doesn’t need an explanation.
- “Drink more water…am I right ladies!?” (thank you Maria Bamford)
Well there it is! I’ve got quite the list and I’m off to a particularly good start….I’ve got to get a good Martha Mantra going to keep myself on course and I have a date tonight with a certain gym treadmill for 4 miles(and I can’t flirt with the other guys running on the treadmills beside me)….ugh….Happy New Year…I think!