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Posts Tagged ‘age’

Okay so I know I’ve kept you in suspense for the last day regarding my date with Frank on Wednesday.  (My prediction regarding the kiss was pretty spot on.)  It went really well!  So I don’t know about anyone else but I always try to feel out how serious the date is.  I try to answer questions like are we going Dutch tonight, or is he going to pay for me, or should I pay for him?  It gives me a handle on how serious the date is…you know feel it out.  So I get to the theater first and I buy the tickets just to see what happens.  He shows up and I tell him that I got tickets for us….P.S. we saw “Fired Up”) and what does he end up doing…giving me a voucher for a ticket.  I guess we answered that question…going Dutch.  So we get into the movie and it is basically me and Frank and 3 other couples.  The movie begins it’s really funny and I learned one thing about Frank he has loud and distinct laugh…he literally LOL’s…he is the physical embodiment of LOL.  I’m sure it annoyed some people in the theater but I found it kind of charming.  As the movie progressed there was some knee to knee rubbing….just a gesture to let each other know that we are attracted to one another…then there is some finger touching and rubbing.  I’m enjoying the whole date at this point.  When the movie ends Frank offers to walk me to my car…very gentlemanly of him, and I end up giving him a ride back to his car.  We sit for a bit and decide that we are going to have brunch on Saturday together.  I am giving him my best come kiss me body language…he is kinda sitting in my car looking a little scared of me…I lean forward even more and we keep making small talk…so finally I take his arm and tell him it would be okay if he kissed me.  He says he would like that….he plants two quick, light kisses on my mouth.  There is a graze of tongue, his lips are cool, and he tastes like mint….I wasn’t expecting our kiss to be like that at all.  I’m so use to a booze fueled make out session that I forgot how nice it is for someone to just kiss you.  Frank then says he is glad we are taking it slow.  He then asks me to come with him as a guest to a concert on Thursday evening.  I accept and then we exchange goodbyes and we drive off.

 

I think it is fair to say he is interested in me.  Especially after I hash out the date last night 😉  So Yesterday at work Cody texts me and our just going out for drinks Friday night turns into dinner and drinks.  Our casual date suddenly takes a on a much more official date like feeling.  After work I end up at home and I get ready for the concert.  Frank picks me up and we are off.  Here the concert is of different music faculty around the Erie School District.  There aren’t many people that come to see the concert but Frank knows practically all the faculty playing.  He introduces me to all of them…there are lovely and very kind to me…but I can see it some of their faces…Frank and his friend who is 20 years younger…are they together?  Perhaps I am being to quick to judge or I’m over analyzing the whole situation but it still weighs in the back of my mind.  After the concert we grab some coffee and dessert and have a nice conversation.  My whole plan is to push the envelope a little bit.  No sex of heavy petting but a little more making out.  Frank has made it clear he wants to take it slow and I’m okay with that.  My plan is to get him to walk me to my door and make out a little bit.   After coffee he drives me home (Lauren is out drinking with friends…Score!) I invite him up and he obliges.  In fact he ends up coming in.  So I give him a tour and we end up on the couch watching the news.  We cuddle a little bit..he has his right arm slung over me and my back is on his side…he is rubbing my chest…tweeks my nipple a little bit, he kisses the back of my head (Frank is scoring points like crazy0….this is a little more than I bargained for…so I decide it is time for a little make out session.  And we start making out…the kisses are soft and hesitant at first, then they warm up.  We are giggling, he tries to tell me he wants to leave but I tell him not to…we keep kissing and I tell him I am texting Lauren to not come home…I reach for my phone but he holds me back, he playfully holds me against him, we are still laughing but I manage to get my phone and get the text out.  I quickly turn around and keep kissing him…At this point it is adequately clear that our clothes will stay on and we resist exploring below the belt with our hands.  This is purely an above the waist, clothes on, make out session….I still managed to get out of my dress shirt though LOL 😉  Suddenly I start getting texts back I know they are from Lauren…Frank reaches for the phone wanting to know what they say…I laugh cause I am straddling him and I hold my phone out where he can’t reach it…I causally mention look who’s got who now, we are laughing and he still can’t reach.  Lauren declares the apt. mine for the next hours…seconds later Lucy (who is out with Lauren) texts me back “Slut.”  I’m laughing really hard now and Frank still can’t see the text messages.   We end up making out for the next hour.  I’ll leave it up to your imagination to what we did, but there was some straddling, grinding, lots of kissing, ear nibbling…all the fun stuff…that ended with me having a hickey.  It was such a great make out session…it was hot yet playful…we didn’t do to much yet we did just enough.  One of the best parts too was that he would ask me to just hug him and I would just snuggle right into him and nuzzle his chest.  I’ve not had many guys just flat out ask me to hug them….it was great!

 

So now you are up to speed on my dating week.  I will see Cody this evening and we will see how that goes.  And them I have brunch plans tomorrow with Frank…I’m hoping he will ask me back to his place to cuddle for a bit before I leave this weekend for a house warming party.  We will see.  Now in terms of the whole age thing….I have thus far enjoyed my time with Frank.  I could see us going out more and I am going to sit back and enjoy our time together at the moment.  I am going to try and not think about the social ramifications of dating someone who is older than you and just enjoy it…I’m not going to try and define it quite yet.  We will see what happens. 

 

Tell me how you guys are doing.  What are your plans for the weekend?  Any good hook ups recently?  Have a lovely weekend everyone and I will have updates for you all on Monday 😉

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Hello ladies and gentlemen; I hope you all have had a lovely weekend.  Mine was jammed packed and I am paying for it this exhausting Monday afternoon.

 

You know the saying “when it rains it pours” well that seems to apply adequately enough to my dating/love life.  We know about my search for Price Charming has led me currently to Brad…who doesn’t seem to working out as I thought it would (which I’ll explain in a bit)…well wouldn’t you know I go our Friday evening and I meet someone.  Let us not get to excited yet there are some terms and conditions that come with this one.  As I have mentioned I have been doing some LGBT activism work and though it I’ve met a ton of people (most of whom I can’t remember their names because it’s such a fast introduction and then work)…while I was out on Friday with Steve I end up running into one of the guys we had met.  His name is Frank.  He’s there with a couple of his friends and we all start chatting…I’m eyeing up one of his friends that I’m thinking I will end up on the dance floor with when Frank begins to pay some attention to me.  He comments on my glasses and calls them sexy….not a compliment I usually receive…and he strikes up a conversation with me.  I’m drinking not heavily but enough to enjoy the evening and I can’t help but flirt back…I can’t help myself when I get some booze in my system.  It’s really nice we chat with each other around the bar, the conversation is not forced, I’m enjoying his presence, in general he seems like a nice guy.  He buys me a drink, and I make an innocuous comment that he is trying to get me drunk to get in my pants…he laughs and says maybe…would I try to stop him if he tried to get in my pants….probably not.  Why not?  Because while even though I tell everyone that I want to some traditional dating I am still a man who likes attention and sex (perhaps shallow but true).   All of a sudden “Sexual Healing” (how ironic) (the Shaggy version which I coincidentally love) comes on…what do I do…slug back the rest of my beer, throw my arms around Frank and tell him to take me out on the dance floor to dance with me….wouldn’t you do that.  So there we are, I’m in a semi-boozy haze, with a man that seems to be attracted to me enjoying one of my favorite songs; Frank is doing all the right things putting his hands on my hips, sliding his fingertips just into the tops of my pockets, or giving a slight tug on my belt loops…just enough to be coy and sexual without being to overly aggressive or creepy…I am enjoying myself…we keep dancing for a bit.  Eventually, we move off the dance floor, he is getting ready to leave we exchange numbers….I have ulterior motives obviously at this point….who doesn’t want to make out with someone on a Friday night when it just so happens your roommate is out of town and you have your apartment to yourself.  We exchange goodbyes a quick peck on the lips and he is gone…I text him to come over…he tells me that he didn’t want to because I was to nice and special to do that (good answer) I tell him that the offer still stands, he says it might be moving to fast for him (another good answer even though I do want to make out with him), he texts me back telling me he is already regretting not coming over (the Russian judges give him a 10 out 10 for that all star text) and eventually we say good night to each other.  We spend the rest of the weekend texting each other.  Some of the texts are fun, some flirty, others just texts.  We’ve been hashing out a date possibly this week which is good.  All in all I’m pretty excited, but there is one problem……he is 20 years older than me!!!!!! Eep.

 

So I don’t know what to do.  He seems really nice, said all the right things, wants to take things slow and be more traditional in terms of going on dates (which for all intensive purposes doesn’t mean a commitment), but I don’t know what to think about the age thing.  I mean I don’t know if I want to date someone who is 20 years older than me…but on the other hand everyone who’s around my age (who’ve I’ve tried hitting on, asking out, etc.) has never really given me the time of day.  Take Brad for example, we talked on Thursday and had open ended plans to maybe go out on Monday (to get to know each other).  I don’t call until Sunday leave a message and he still has yet to call me back.  Of course I am over analyzing the whole thing with Frank.  But, he has shown me more interest than other guys and I don’t want to not take that with a grain of salt.  I’m going to call Frank tonight see if he does want to go out on Wednesday for dinner…and see where it goes from there.  Who ever said dating was fun must have been married…or on a lot of acid/cocaine.  Okay I’m freaked out a little and just ranting wildly on my blog.  I’m done…maybe…thanks for listening….you will hear more…perhaps even today :/  Okay moving on!

 

I watched the Oscars (Frank and I texted all night though them sorry I’m done now) and I enjoyed the format this year.  I loved the idea that they created a 1940’s bandstand etc.  Let’s take a moment and enjoy Hugh Jackman and how delicious he was…the dresses were flawless.  It was just a great Oscar’s night…especially when “Milk” took home two prizes.  Sean Penn deserved the Oscar and I loved his speech especially when he lampooned those who voted for Prop. 8.  But, I think the best was when Dustin Lance Black won Best Original Screen play!!!!!!!  His speech brought me to tears….I’ll admit it.  When he told all those young “boys and girls that they were beautiful creatures and that god loves them”…it was beautiful.  I don’t know if he will realize that telling these young gay men and women that they were full of worth and value was an important and validating thing for many of them(us).  In a world of hate and marginalization Black spoke beautifully and poignantly about the value of human life even if that life is gay…what he said had more of an impact on me than any religion or religious person has said to me in a long time. 

 

 

Of course I was rooting for “Milk” to win best picture but I knew deep down inside when “Slumdog Millionaire” won at the SAG awards Best Picture it would take home the Oscar’s Best Picture.  I was so excited that Kate Winslet finally won an Oscar…and I loved all the Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress nominees.  I think they are great and that they will have long careers ahead of them.

 

On a final note I not only worked all weekend I also drove to Buffalo to go to a wedding with Lauren (she was in the bridal party and looked flawless).  Yes, Frank and I texted during the entire reception…now I’m done.  The wedding was beautiful and the reception was a blast.

 

Okay I’m done for now, I’m sorry for the long post and it’s randomness and obvious lack of form.  We will discuss my neurosis a little more once I find out if I am going out to dinner with Frank. 

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Alright let me pick up where I have left off.  As I mentioned I was torn between two guys Steve the meanie guy that flirts with me and the older sexual harassment guy…we’ll call him Craig.  I also left off with my Alma Mater’s Homecoming looming.  Homecoming was a spectacular blast.  We had tons of people stay with me and Lauren at our place lots of booze, lots of fun etc.  Friday night I had a slight development with Steve.  We were both drunk at my Alma Mater’s favorite bar hangout and having a broken conversation.  He did not go to my college but he came with several friends to hang out will all us alums.  We end up leaving, he got a ride home with friends, me in a taxi with a few other friends and we start texting.  I managed to get back into my bedroom and crash on my floor when I get a text from Steve “I want you in my mouth”….abuhhhhhhhh.  I was flattered, excited, and somewhat confused by this exclamation.  We had flirted but in the back of my mind I had not really thought anything would have come of Steve.  I’m drunk and I’m pretty sure I send a text back that wasn’t sexual in nature but ponderus…my cell phone blinks with a response from Steve, “ I want to suck  you off”…could my 11 months of strike outs with the boys finally have worn off?  Have I just scored a homerun?…my cell phone blinks again.  It’s Steve, “j/k”….what in the world I wonder, then another text “just kidding.”  At this point, between the massive amount of booze circulating in my system and these weird text messages, I’m totally confused.  We text for a few more minutes when he tells me he is texting his EX-BOYFRIEND…I pass out downtrodden. 

 

The next day I receive a text from him apologizing for the perverted texts…I haven’t texted him in three days.  Needless to say, the universe screwed me over again, not surprisingly.  I’m sad but not surprised.  For the moment Steve is out of the picture.  I don’t time or patience to worry about a guy who is hung up on his ex when I took the time to flirt and make myself available to him.  Available for dating and such…what kind of available are you thinking of?????

 

The rest of the weekend goes of without a stitch.  It isn’t until Monday that things get interesting.  So I am at work and Craig and I have been emailing each other.  Mostly about the event I’m hosting but there are flirty nuances in the emails.  So I give him my personal email.  In one email I ask him what he is doing.  He responds going to a movie, and asks if I like Woody Allen films (queue the Juno Quote “Woody Allen! I love Woody Allen.”  That’s would be Juno’s friend Leah who is flirting with an older teacher…the situation is reminiscent to my own at the moment).  I tell him I don’t mind them and that my evening was going to consist of going to a lecture about Civil Rights, MLK, and the political race with Obama.  He then asks me to join him at the movies….hello Vicky Christina Barcelona good bye Civil Rights lecture.  (I couldn’t help myself…you would do the same)  So we meet at the theater.  He had a couple of free passes so we go in and it is me and him and these two older people.  Drat, I totally would have made out with him in the theater.  The movie was awesome and we then go out for drinks…I’m thinking this is kinda like a date but kinda not.  After two hours of drinking and talking and A LOT of touching, he asks if I would like a tour of his house…meager come on but I am totally down with it.  We get back to his house and I do get a tour and then the real fun began.

 

I know I know you probably want all the fun and gay details…I’ll give you just a few.  It was fun, after 11 months I know I still got it, it was fun, I still have a few scraps of dignity still intact, it was fun, no we didn’t go all the way, it was still fun, and I might be meeting up with him on Sunday….did I mention it was fun!

 

After our fun all I could think is of that moment in Under the Tuscan Sun where Diane Lane has sex for the first time after her divorce and she’s bouncing all over her room chanting “I still got it… (grabs chest)…I still got it…(laying on her back kicking her legs like an excited child…I…Still…Got….It.”  I had the same type of reaction, it just wasn’t in my bedroom therefore it was a little reserved.  Note the picture below

 

 

So I don’t know where this is going.  I am not putting to much thought into it.  He is older than me; perhaps we are friends that just like to fool around…I don’t know and I’m not going to try and label quite yet…I’m sure that won’t last long though…that’s my neurosis talking.

 

P.S. He gave me his cold……

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You know I was going to discuss my weekend in OH then I saw this article on cnn.com and it made me sick. (See the link below)

 

 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/07/28/church.shooting/index.html

 

 

This man in Tennessee goes into a liberal church, which he targeted for being liberal and killed two and wounded seven of the church goers.  Then thinking he would be killed by the police he left a note discussing how liberals and Democrats were causing America to fall into decline, and then he discussed how he did not like “hated” gay people. 

 

You know what make me so angry about this whole situation is that he believes that liberals are the cause for the decline of America.  This is coming from the person who brought a shot gun to a children’s performance at a church.  His reasoning is skewed and I find it ironic that he blames people like myself for America’s troubles when in actuality it is people like him that are to blame for the problems in America.  Instead of being tolerant of others and allowing for liberal and conservative ideas to co-exist he goes and tries to eliminate the “liberal movement.”

 

I mean in actuality if one would look at the entire picture they would see the ironic natures of this incident.  The shooting took place at a church, a place of worship and community.  A place where people find solace in times of need, a place where people are TAUGHT TO LOVE THY NEIGHBOR etc!  It funny because this guy, I can’t even bare to type his name in this blog because he doesn’t deserve the notoriety of being blogged about, is upset about the decline of American (which I suspect he is thinking about the morality of America) and he is the one that halls off shoots a bunch of people in a church.  It’s ironic that he thinks the liberal agenda is the decline of America; it wasn’t the liberal that brought the gun to church. 

 

On two final notes, in the article the police say that the man was upset because “the liberal movement was getting more jobs… And he felt like he was being kept out of the loop because of his age.”  I would just like to say that perhaps it wasn’t his age or the liberals keeping him from getting a job, perhaps it was because he was FUCKING NUTS.

 

Lastly, three of the seven victims that had been shot had come to the church for the first time.  Again, it’s ironic that the shooter touted in his letter that “because he could not get to the leaders of the liberal movement … he would then target those that had voted them into office.” That’s funny because I find it hard to believe that he would be able to deduce the liberals in that church when voting for governmental positions are done by secret ballot (just because someone goes to a liberal church does not mean they are liberal) and three of his victims were at the church for the first time.

 

This is sad and upsetting.

 

 

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Hello everyone I hope this finds you well and ready for FRIDAY.  I know I am ready.  I am going over to OH for a friend’s birthday extravaganza.  I expect it to be very messy.  Also, the patchouli guy that I have had a crush on since college will be there too.  I  hope some fun sexy times will occur but I suspect not, but I’m sure it will be a good time.

 

Now for a more serious discussion… I was at Coldstone (the ice cream store) treating my sister for her birthday when the guy taking our order catches my eye.  He is very cute J tan, a nice cockeyed smile.  In fact he has some vague Chris O’Donnell features….I think it’s his eyebrows eyes and lips….off track sorry…So I go into flirt mode…it just happens sometimes, I don’t know if he’s gay or not but there is a slight ping on my radar.  I then do what all self respecting gay men do when flirting at an ice cream shop…I play dumb. The conversation was as follows:

 

 

Hot Ice-cream Guy (HICG):  Do you know what you want?

 

Sammy: uuummm no…I uuhhh…..

 

HICG:  Do you know how Coldstone works?

 

Sammy:  No not really, why don’t you explain it to me. (Of course I know how Coldstone works, but I’m going to play dumb to keep you talking ;))

 

(my sister, now completely out of the picture, is just staring blankly at all the flavors that are offered)

 

HICG: Well, these are the different flavors….blah blah blah…mix…touch my body (oops no I did wish he had said it)

 

Sammy:  Well, that makes sense.  (this is where I always engage the boy)  What flavors do you suggest (keep him in the conversation, get their thoughts on anything…LOL)

 

HICG goes on about his favorite flavors; I think to myself that I would like to sample his flavor…..off track…..

 

I put mine and my sister’s orders in and we continue our conversation.  I ask if he goes to school in Erie he says he goes to Penn State, we chat about that we talk about majors….

 

I note his name tag, pay, give a tip (not only because he is cute but because Coldstone workers have to sing after they get a tip…if I’m not flirting I like to be entertained…what I can’t help it)…and leave.

 

I now do what any self respecting person does, I do some facebook research….I know you’re thinking oohh Sammy is a stalker…but I would like to say that one, not only is facebook a public forum that can be perused by the public but two, I’m an Anthropologist, and if we Anthropologists know one thing its how to research. 

 

Well low and behold I find him.  I don’t make him a facebook friend.  I find out he seems to be available, my gay suspicions are confirmed, what also is confirmed is that he is 19.  YES 19. 

 

Here is where I’m on the fencepost.  Is it weird for a 25 year old to flirt with a 19 year old?  (I know what you are thinking, it’s weird you facebooked him) but really.

 

In today’s gay world are there definite ages that gay men should avoid when flirting and dating.  Obviously, we avoid jail bait, but in sometimes limited gay communities we are not always presented with a great age spectrum.  Also, I don’t want to go back to Coldstone and flirt with this guy if it seems inappropriate.  It would be a waste of his and my time.  Plus, I don’t want to be a creepy old man…lol.

 

 

So let me know what you think.  I am looking for some insights into age appropriate dating?

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