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Posts Tagged ‘Brad’

I don’t know what I have done to deserve it but my dating life has suddenly taken a turn upwards.  It must have been all the praying to the gay gods last week (Bette Midler, Celine Dion, Cher etc.) 

 

I ended up texting Frank last night and we decided to catch a movie together this evening.  We are going to go see “Fired Up” because what else would a gay man want to see on his first date *Sammy shakes his head*.  I’m pretty pumped and eager to see what Frank has to talk about.  It will nice to be out with him other than being in a gay bar or doing community activism.  Then also on Monday, as I had mentioned, I was receiving text messages from a young man I couldn’t place.  I text him to see who he is and it turns out I mis-programmed his name into my phone and then figured out who he is.  I was out with Steve one night and he was asked to meet the boy he has taken a liking to out at a straight bar…so we go we meet his friend and a bunch of their friends.  One of the guy’s name is Cody.  Cody is gay and we chat some he seems nice.   He’s really tall, black hair etc. eventually the whole group ends up going to eat out later that night and chat.  I end up sitting by Cody and we talk for a bit.  We exchange numbers and I’m thinking he might be nice to go out with a couple of times.  Over the next day I text him but his text messages don’t give off the “I’m interested” feel so I let it go.  It was Cody who was texting me only I had listed his name as Matt in my phone.  Yesterday I texted him to figure out who he was…the explanation came out and it ended with me and him getting drinks on Friday.  At first I didn’t necessarily consider this a date but as soon as we set the time and place I get a call minutes later from Steve asking me if I had a date.  Here it turns out (this is going to be fun when you hear this…I feel like I’m in high school waiting for my next class) Cody told his best friend who coincidentally is Steve’s crushes bother’s fiancé about a date Friday night a la me.  Other than the high school nature of the news movement, the news spread rather quickly and I guess what we are doing Friday night is considered a date.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t pleased. 

 

This is what I was hoping for when I came out of the closet.  Obviously, there would be drunk nights at the bars but I want something a little more traditional.  I don’t think going on dates and talking with people is an unrealistic standard to have in the gay dating community.  But there was a while where I was thinking two men going out on dates was to much of a standard then BAM three dates in one week.  Let’s hope this luck holds out for a while longer…apparently I must have done something real good because my Karma levels are particularly high this week.  And of course I will keep you all up today on any fun that might happen while out on my date…you know me I like to keep my readers abreast in my fun 😉

 

So I know what you are wondering right now…What happened with Danny?  Well, I ended up texting him yesterday after his boyfriend/fiancé left.  I asked him why he wanted me to texted him after his significant other left and he replied, “to have more time to talk to you.”  So we chatted and I texted him about lunch, he texted that he “wanted me for lunch.”  Brash and then I was intrigued.  I asked him what he was doing he casually mentioned that he was “naked and getting into the shower.”  Well, you can guess how the text messages started going after that…I give you some words that happened to show up in the following texts between Danny and I….hot, wet, soapy, hard, you, things…I think you get my drift.  As our conversation continues on he asks when I get off work he wants to me.  He wants to meet to fool around but he doesn’t say in the text message.  It’s at that point I text back telling him that it wouldn’t be a good idea for us to meet.  He’s engaged and I have far too much respect for him and his boyfriend to do anything.  He concurs, saying that I am right.  So we text a little more cooling down the steamy texts between us and that ends it.  I hope I smothered any improprieties that could have happened between us when I texted Danny back about his fiancé and him and I not meeting.  It isn’t fair to his fiancé.  It’s unfortunate though he was good looking…it’s always the good looking ones that are taken. 

 

So that is about it for now folks.  I’m pretty excited to see what tonight is going to be like.  I will let you know all the juicy details.  I am going predict that I will get at least a kiss tonight…but I’m hoping for a little make out session with Frank…just a little one.

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Last night was like something out of a movie. That is the only thing I can liken last night to. 

 

Well, yesterday I didn’t think Brad would call so I made other plans…far be it from me to wait around for a boy to call…and then it bit me in the ass.  Brad ended up calling.  Which is good to some extent…after some reshuffling of my schedule we decided to meet for drinks at Ruby Tuesday’s, which moved to drinks at another smaller bar, which eventually led to seeing a drag show and dancing at a local gay bar.  (There is more stuff that happened at the gay bar but I’ll revisit that saga when I finish with Brad).  At this point conversation has been flowing very nicely between me and Brad but I get the distinct feeling we are not meant to be more than just friends.  There is something about Brad that I like…he just struck me as being very human…I could tell that he wore his feelings on his sleeve (which it has it’s pros and cons), he always said what was on his mind (again that can be good and or bad), and I kinda liked that about him.  But he was so anxious too.  That was a hard thing to wrap my mind around.  He constantly seemed worried about something, he was always moving around, he joked that he has ADD….I think he does.  But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t nice…it just exhausted me watching him.  The other thing that worried me about Brad is his drinking.  I don’t normally worry or comment on the way people drink but I’ll tell you what watching Brad kind of blew my mind.  Mind you Brad is a big guy he is 6’7” just to give you and idea of his height…he easily dwarfs me and I suspect it takes a few to get him drunk.  But Brad had quite a few, a few to many to drive home on which is why I didn’t get to bed until 4 am today.  It was while I was driving Brad to his car that he told me he wasn’t interested in me in a romantic sense…trust me I wasn’t heartbroken…but he did say he wanted to be friends, that I can deal with.  I will also give him props considering he was man enough to tell me that he wasn’t interested in me.  Much better than being led on which has happened in the past.  From there things began to spiral out of my control.  There was a stop at McDonalds and an hour and a half chat with Brad in my car…more so Brad talking and me sitting there….is this what dating is suppose to be like.  A 6’7” man, drunk, eating McDonalds in my car, talking about his life with no possibility of heavy petting, who said he wasn’t interested in me.  At the moment if dating is like this I am going to need something to numb the whole ordeal of it LOL.   I offer him my couch but he declines and decided to drive home.  I probably shouldn’t have let him go but frankly, there was no possibility of getting his keys off of him and I had to be up at 7 am.  (On a side note he made it home okay he texted once home safe and sound.)  I think it is safe to say that I can count Brad out of the possible pool of husbands, but I will add him to my friend list.  I do appreciate him not trying to make a move on me it was very respectful of him…and all I can think is thank heavens we went on a “date,” if you could call it that, because trust me when you go on dates you learn A LOT about someone.  Okay so now we have the Brad situation in the bag lets revisit some other things that happened last night.

 

First, when I like someone I usually will give them my phone number… per usual but I’ve found that a lot of the time I never get responses back which is fine.  But occasionally there will be a young man that gives me his phone number and that is a nice change of pace.  Well last night I had some guy, I’m pretty sure I  met at a gay bar, text me while out with Brad. (Remember I said when it rains it pours regarding my dating…it only gets better.)  I can’t seem to place the guy at all!!!! I don’t know what to do, I think I’m going to lie and tell him my phone died and that’s why I texted him today instead of last night and then ask how we know each other…it’s all just to weird.  Then I started receiving texts from Frank.  I called him last night regarding a date on Wednesday and his phone was off…he had a concert to attend, so I knew it would be off.  We exchanged texts and he kept calling me stud which is pleasing.  So we are going to see what happens with that.  Then finally I ran into a real nice guy I had given my phone number to some weeks ago.  He never called me back but I’ve seen him out a few times.  Well it turns out Brad knows him so he comes over and we start chatting, (his name is Danny), Danny leans over and apologizes for never calling me…he tells me that he has a boyfriend and that he felt weird calling me and telling me over the phone.  It was a nice gesture of him to do…then he tells me he and his boyfriend had just got engaged.  So basically I hit on a fiancé.  Okay so he’s off the market no biggie, he’s still really nice and I enjoy talking to him.  As the night progresses Brad, Danny, and myself bum around the bar a bit enjoying each others company.  Well at one point a good song comes on.  I liked it, Danny obviously likes it the way he is shaking his hips (his dancing was what initially led to me giving Danny my number) so we end up on the dance floor.  We are dancing having a good time, I keep reminding myself that he has a fiancé, but we are just innocently dancing.  At one point he leans over and whispers in my ear that the night he danced with me (when I gave him my number) he was attracted to me but he had a boyfriend, which pleases me that he was attracted to me…the next thing I know his hands are on my ass.  Do I pull away, no, because that would be the right thing to do and I want figure  out how fast it would take for a rumor of me sleeping with an engaged guy to circulate in the gay community and eventually get back to his bf/fiancé.  He pulls me close and presses my hips against his.  He keeps grabbing my ass and eventually I pitch a tent promptly jabbing him in his thigh.  He keeps making faces of contentment.  Eventually, the ass groping tent pitching fest ends and I get ready to leave…and by leave I mean drive Brad back to his car.  We exchange goodbyes and Danny plants a big kiss on my lips…a lingering one that hints at something more.  A few minutes later, against my better judgment I text him thank you for the dances, he says he’s welcome and that he will text me tomorrow (which is now today) once his bf is gone.  This is nothing, NOTHING but trouble.  All I know is that while I am wildly attracted to Danny, I could never do anything with him and when we text today I plan on making that adequately clear….I’m a lot of things but a home wrecker is not one of them.

 

So that was my Monday night.  I apologize for the mess of a post but I am exhausted and frankly anxious about everything today.  Like I said when it rains it pours…I’m on boy overload…yet none of them seem to be boyfriend material. 

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Hello ladies and gentlemen; I hope you all have had a lovely weekend.  Mine was jammed packed and I am paying for it this exhausting Monday afternoon.

 

You know the saying “when it rains it pours” well that seems to apply adequately enough to my dating/love life.  We know about my search for Price Charming has led me currently to Brad…who doesn’t seem to working out as I thought it would (which I’ll explain in a bit)…well wouldn’t you know I go our Friday evening and I meet someone.  Let us not get to excited yet there are some terms and conditions that come with this one.  As I have mentioned I have been doing some LGBT activism work and though it I’ve met a ton of people (most of whom I can’t remember their names because it’s such a fast introduction and then work)…while I was out on Friday with Steve I end up running into one of the guys we had met.  His name is Frank.  He’s there with a couple of his friends and we all start chatting…I’m eyeing up one of his friends that I’m thinking I will end up on the dance floor with when Frank begins to pay some attention to me.  He comments on my glasses and calls them sexy….not a compliment I usually receive…and he strikes up a conversation with me.  I’m drinking not heavily but enough to enjoy the evening and I can’t help but flirt back…I can’t help myself when I get some booze in my system.  It’s really nice we chat with each other around the bar, the conversation is not forced, I’m enjoying his presence, in general he seems like a nice guy.  He buys me a drink, and I make an innocuous comment that he is trying to get me drunk to get in my pants…he laughs and says maybe…would I try to stop him if he tried to get in my pants….probably not.  Why not?  Because while even though I tell everyone that I want to some traditional dating I am still a man who likes attention and sex (perhaps shallow but true).   All of a sudden “Sexual Healing” (how ironic) (the Shaggy version which I coincidentally love) comes on…what do I do…slug back the rest of my beer, throw my arms around Frank and tell him to take me out on the dance floor to dance with me….wouldn’t you do that.  So there we are, I’m in a semi-boozy haze, with a man that seems to be attracted to me enjoying one of my favorite songs; Frank is doing all the right things putting his hands on my hips, sliding his fingertips just into the tops of my pockets, or giving a slight tug on my belt loops…just enough to be coy and sexual without being to overly aggressive or creepy…I am enjoying myself…we keep dancing for a bit.  Eventually, we move off the dance floor, he is getting ready to leave we exchange numbers….I have ulterior motives obviously at this point….who doesn’t want to make out with someone on a Friday night when it just so happens your roommate is out of town and you have your apartment to yourself.  We exchange goodbyes a quick peck on the lips and he is gone…I text him to come over…he tells me that he didn’t want to because I was to nice and special to do that (good answer) I tell him that the offer still stands, he says it might be moving to fast for him (another good answer even though I do want to make out with him), he texts me back telling me he is already regretting not coming over (the Russian judges give him a 10 out 10 for that all star text) and eventually we say good night to each other.  We spend the rest of the weekend texting each other.  Some of the texts are fun, some flirty, others just texts.  We’ve been hashing out a date possibly this week which is good.  All in all I’m pretty excited, but there is one problem……he is 20 years older than me!!!!!! Eep.

 

So I don’t know what to do.  He seems really nice, said all the right things, wants to take things slow and be more traditional in terms of going on dates (which for all intensive purposes doesn’t mean a commitment), but I don’t know what to think about the age thing.  I mean I don’t know if I want to date someone who is 20 years older than me…but on the other hand everyone who’s around my age (who’ve I’ve tried hitting on, asking out, etc.) has never really given me the time of day.  Take Brad for example, we talked on Thursday and had open ended plans to maybe go out on Monday (to get to know each other).  I don’t call until Sunday leave a message and he still has yet to call me back.  Of course I am over analyzing the whole thing with Frank.  But, he has shown me more interest than other guys and I don’t want to not take that with a grain of salt.  I’m going to call Frank tonight see if he does want to go out on Wednesday for dinner…and see where it goes from there.  Who ever said dating was fun must have been married…or on a lot of acid/cocaine.  Okay I’m freaked out a little and just ranting wildly on my blog.  I’m done…maybe…thanks for listening….you will hear more…perhaps even today :/  Okay moving on!

 

I watched the Oscars (Frank and I texted all night though them sorry I’m done now) and I enjoyed the format this year.  I loved the idea that they created a 1940’s bandstand etc.  Let’s take a moment and enjoy Hugh Jackman and how delicious he was…the dresses were flawless.  It was just a great Oscar’s night…especially when “Milk” took home two prizes.  Sean Penn deserved the Oscar and I loved his speech especially when he lampooned those who voted for Prop. 8.  But, I think the best was when Dustin Lance Black won Best Original Screen play!!!!!!!  His speech brought me to tears….I’ll admit it.  When he told all those young “boys and girls that they were beautiful creatures and that god loves them”…it was beautiful.  I don’t know if he will realize that telling these young gay men and women that they were full of worth and value was an important and validating thing for many of them(us).  In a world of hate and marginalization Black spoke beautifully and poignantly about the value of human life even if that life is gay…what he said had more of an impact on me than any religion or religious person has said to me in a long time. 

 

 

Of course I was rooting for “Milk” to win best picture but I knew deep down inside when “Slumdog Millionaire” won at the SAG awards Best Picture it would take home the Oscar’s Best Picture.  I was so excited that Kate Winslet finally won an Oscar…and I loved all the Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress nominees.  I think they are great and that they will have long careers ahead of them.

 

On a final note I not only worked all weekend I also drove to Buffalo to go to a wedding with Lauren (she was in the bridal party and looked flawless).  Yes, Frank and I texted during the entire reception…now I’m done.  The wedding was beautiful and the reception was a blast.

 

Okay I’m done for now, I’m sorry for the long post and it’s randomness and obvious lack of form.  We will discuss my neurosis a little more once I find out if I am going out to dinner with Frank. 

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Apparently, my worshiping to the gods of gay dating (ahem Bette Midler, Celine Dion, Cher, etc.) paid off yesterday.  While I was driving home from work yesterday obeying all traffic laws perfecting my best rendition of Adele’s “Chasing Pavement” at the top of my lungs I received a nice little surprise.  My phone began to vibrate against my thigh (that’s not the surprise).  Now usually I let my phone just vibrate while I drive for safety reasons…and because it gives me a reason to enjoy the vibrations on my thigh (come on don’t tell me you don’t get some sick pleasure out of a vibrating phone on your thigh) but this time it was different.  I quickly dug out my phone from my pocket…while rubber necking at the automobile accident on the side of the road (Erie got snow again and the roads were slippery)…low and behold Brad was calling me.  Reduced from a educated, working, young man into a giddy school girl I fumbled quickly to give Adele a rest (I would resume my concert at a later time) and try and stay on the road.  I will summarize our brief conversation…there was an apology for not calling me back which was nice.  He had purchased a new phone and wasn’t able to call me back (for three days?  I believe Clueless the movie had something to say about that).  He had mentioned something about a new phone at the gay bar on Monday night but lets be serious a loud bar with gay men running around doesn’t necessarily lend itself to an easily heard conversation.  So we chatted a bit about new phones then we started to discuss the movies again.  Now mind you, I consider myself a confident, glib individual, who feels perfectly comfortable speaking in front of a crowd but the moment a boy is involved (especially with the potential of going out on a date with) I am reduced to a nervous, over analyzing, fool (some of my more charming qualities).  Our schedules conflict quite a bit (perhaps a foreshadowing or warning? *I’m over analyzing*;)) but we left the plans pretty open for a late movie Monday evening and perhaps drinks afterwards.  I have to call him later this weekend (gulp) and sure up times.  Also, while we were talking he says that he doesn’t want us to go into this date thinking that we are going to get physical or anything (GREAT A pre-date advisory)…not that I was thinking that we were, and he goes on to say he wants to get to know me.  I casually mention to him that, “that is the whole idea of dating.”  So that’s where everything stands right now…all loose ends LOL. 

 

Well we will see what happens over the weekend and Monday.   I told you I didn’t think Brad was completely out of the picture.  I hope you all have a lovely weekend….don’t worry we will discuss the weekend and the phone call 😉

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Okay, so I’ve had some people comment and wonder how the date went last night.   Well, I am sad to say that no date ever occurred L Blast, I’ve been foiled by the gay dating gods one more time.  Apparently,  I’ve not been worshipping at the alter of Bette Midler enough to be deemed date worthy as of yet…guess I’ll be locating a record player and playing “The Rose” all night to night to appease the gods and increase my chances of a date.  More importantly, my covert dance off was wasted!  No matter I will eventually find the man of my dreams….hopefully before I become a crazy man spinster :/

 

I called Brad yesterday and left a message on his phone.  His phone was off and when we were at the bar he mentioned he was getting a new one.  He never called back.  So I don’t know what gives!?  I guess we will see if he calls this week sometime and I suspect I will see him on Monday night at the gay bar so we will see what transpires.  I can’t help but feel like I have a little egg on my face (it’s over easy my fav) considering I was so pleased over the fact that a date might be involved instead of something more physical.  But, I guess alls fair in love and war…right?  I wonder if this is the reason they call it playing the field.  (Authors Side Note:  The Author feels that this isn’t the last interaction he will have with Brad…and the Author isn’t sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, more than likely it will give great fodder for a blog post!)

 

Not much more has happened since this recent dating disaster.  Instead of the potential movie date with Brad I spent the evening with my trivia team.  Oh that sounded kinda sad (even though it isn’t because my trivia team rocks my socks).  I do have to work all weekend and I have a wedding to go to in Buffalo with Lauren.  It is going to be a busy busy weekend!  I have a couple more posts I am going to try and get up here in the next few hours. 

 

P.S. Please don’t worry about me and the whole Brad thing!  These things happen and I fully intend on talking with him on Monday.  I’ll get to the bottom of this…till then I’ll just keep trying 😉

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So after months of striking out, after months of visiting my older lova, I’ve finally done it….I managed to snag a date with a boy.  While traditional dating has always been a goal for me since coming out of the closet I’ve found that it isn’t as easy as I naively thought.   I’ve found it hard to meet nice guys who just want to go to the movies or out for coffee etc. I’ve also found it hard to keep my gay hormones at bay enough to go on a date (I get a drink in me and the next thing I know I want to devour the guy in front of me instead of going on a nice date to the movies, come on you’ve never felt that way?)….I don’t know perhaps I don’t have the self control I once thought I did?  But last night the stars aligned and the universe seemed to favor me…but not without some trials and tribulations!

 

I had met Brad at the bar last week while I was doing mental battle with Will and though he might be nice to get to know.  Low and behold he was at the bar again last night.  So me and my friend Steve head on over to get a drink and he starts making small talk with us and we end up just chatting for a bit.  It was a good start to the evening….although I did have to reintroduce  myself cause he was drunk last week and couldn’t remember me.  (I know what you are thinking Sammy’s hittin’ on the drunken ones again)  Steve leaves for a bit to find some of his friends and as we talk we comment on guys etc and I don’t know whether he is hitting on me or trying to avoid me.  At one point he motions to a particularly good looking guy who I secretly know.  This guy is nothing but trouble!  And Brad mentions how good looking he is.  This guy is 30, overly tanned, and a myriad of gay stereotypes.  I’m in no way attracted to him and all I can think is other guys find this attractive….I mean lets just say there isn’t much going on behind the eyes if you get my drift.  Now I on the other hand am the complete opposite.  I’m 26, 5’8”, tanned only during the summer, drink beer, and I fancy myself to have a decent intellect and wit.  All I can think is if Brad finds this guy attractive there is not a chance in the world for me because I am totally opposite.  We eventually part ways, he goes to the front of the bar and I close out my tab.  I end up talking with some of my lesbian friends for a bit and eventually find myself back out front…Imagine my surprise when Brad asks if I’m going to dance with him.  I’m pretty please and we head off to cut a rug. (Of course I said cut a rug.)

 

Let me give you an idea of Sammy and dancing.  I love it!  I’m not the best at it but my motto is an empty dance floor is a sad dance floor.  Now at the straight bars I will let loose and have a great time dancing it is a completely different story at the gay bar.  I tend to be more self aware at the gay bar and dancing…far be it from me to dance badly and end up cursing my dating probability LOL.  So I’m on the dance floor and dancing with Brad when the guy from the bar (the one Brad had pointed out earlier comes over and begins trying to dance with Brad)……all I can think is, “no you don’t…I’ve worked far to hard to get to this point to have you come in here and try and steal this guy I want to ask out on a date.”  That’s it IT’S A MOTHER FUCKIN DANCE OFF!!!! Me and Mr. String bean dancing it out for the affections of Brad.  It’s a mind blowing spectacle that Mr. String Bead doesn’t even know he is participating…Hair flying, sweat running and I’m giving it my all….okay it wasn’t quite like that I was shimmying and be-bopping around just trying to keep String Bean away. I did have some unexpected help though…it came in the form of a straight girl that kept dancing up on String Bean.  Go team Sammy!  When all has died down I find myself victorious….until Brad leans over and says to me, “you don’t have to dance all ghetto like.”  I said I was a decent dancer not the best mind you… But anyhow we end up by the bar and have the oddest discussion.  Brad who is now drunk continues telling me how all the guys he’s hooked up with and tried to date were all wrong and hasn’t worked out for him.  He continues to tell me that he thinks String Bean is hot but he clicked with me first and how important sexual attraction is….As I mentioned before I am nothing like String Bean and I am trying to figure out if he is trying to hint to me that he isn’t interested.  I just can’t tell and that drives me nuts.  So I get a text and end up having to go close out my friends tab I head to the back bar, figuring that Brad isn’t interested and I’m not going to give him my number, but invite him to come with me.  He accepts and I’m a little forlorn over these recent developments.  At the bar we keep chatting and he again tells me that all the guys he’s attracted to are no good and usually end badly, which makes me feel like he is looking for something different (yours truly ;))  But I am confused as hell right now and really not wanting to make a full of myself.  That’s when he asks if I have his number to which I reply no and he proceeds to give it to me.  I’m texting my number to him when Steve shows up ready to leave and I decide to ask Brad out.  I tell him if he is looking for something different then perhaps he and I could catch a movie on Friday.  It’s simple not very committal just something different that isn’t a hook up after a boozy night at the gay bar.  Then he says, surprisingly, “Great, but” there is always a but, he works on Fridays.  Well it ends up that we will be going out to the movies tonight.  Gulp much quicker than I had anticipated!  At this point he leans over and asks if this is a date and I say yes and his face seems to give off a look of approval.  Then he kisses me on the lips.  Shocked I was in shock.  So I have to call him today and give him times so we can go out. 

 

I have some reservations about the date tonight; Brad is definitely not someone I had ever expected to land a date with nor does he remotely come close to guys that I’ve pictured myself with.  They say variety is the spice of life well this is definitely variety in my life at the moment.  I telling myself keep and open mind enjoy the date and the whole point about dating is that you get to see what the person is like and a date doesn’t mean a commitment either.  I will give you all the dirty details later this week 😉

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