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Posts Tagged ‘Coming out’

So I’ve been mulling over my feelings this past week regarding gay issues.  I’ve been reading up on gay marriages, civil unions, anti-hate laws, and most recently the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy.  The policy was enacted by Bill Clinton in 1993.  I find it a tough pill to swallow.  I’ve always been proud of my country.  I admire the fact that men and women are willing to put their lives out on the line for a place that they believe to be good.  What makes this policy so unacceptable (other than Clinton saying he would work to allow gay to be out and open in the military) is that it is basically our top governmental officials saying they aren’t accepting of us.  And by us I mean gay men and women who also dedicate their lives to honoring our country in times of need and war.  The other despicable aspect of this policy is that it forced men and women to be closeted.  Being in the closet is, in my opinion, a personal choice.  It’s a personal choice that shouldn’t be forced into policy by the government. 

 

As I was looking over the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) policy I found some fun and exiting verbage that seem appropriate to visit.

 

“Sexual orientation will not be a bar to service unless manifested by homosexual conduct. The military will discharge members who engage in homosexual conduct, which is defined as a homosexual act, a statement that the member is homosexual or bisexual, or a marriage or attempted marriage to someone of the same gender.”

 

 

quoted in “The Pentagon’s New Policy Guidelines on Homosexuals in the Military”, The New York Times (July 20, 1993), p.A14.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don%27t_Ask_Don%27t_Tell)

 

I don’t know if straight people realize the tight line gay men and women have to walk in regards to this statement.  We gays are not allowed to even breathe a word of our sexuality otherwise they are discharged.  Now far be it from me to judge, but I have to theorize there are plenty of men in the military that have no problem at all talking about their wives, their girlfriend/lovers etc. and what they do to them on a daily basis or what they are going to do to them when they get home from active duty.  A little one sided wouldn’t you say.  If straight military men and women can’t listen to gay men and women talk about our sexual conquests then why should we have to listen to theirs?  Of course our government could never think of limiting straights discussing their sexual rendezvous that would be a freedom of speech issue…right?  Basically our freedom to be who we are is limited because we “freak” out military personnel.  Speaking of which lets read the reasons given to why DADT needed to be enacted.

 

 

 

“…would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability.”

 

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don%27t_Ask_Don%27t_Tell)

 

Jesus christ, I never realized my homosexuality could bring down an entire military unit.  That’s a lot of power my sexuality yields!  You know what I have to say about that….your in the fucking military.  Grow a set and give the homophobia a rest.  I believe you probably have bigger fish to worry about, say the enemy shooting at you, instead of my homosexuality.  Really if you can make it though boot camp you would think these people would have some semblance to get over their fear of the gays.  Aaaahhh yes my being gay destroys the high morale of group of people who shoots other people…perfect logic.  In fact I would like to take a moment to discuss the military not being able to tolerate homosexuality.  If military people can’t tolerate something like my being gay how can they tolerate an entirely different culture and way of life.  I mean if the military needs a policy to keep me from talking about sleeping with men because it makes them uncomfortable how will they ever adjust to the lives and cultures in Iraq, Afghanistan, or other places in the world that will take soldiers out of their comfort zone.  I’m just asking!

Recently we’ve had another winner who has been talking about the gays demoralizing the troops.  In a recent Washington Times Article, by Stephen Dinan, Elaine Donnelly, president of the Center for Military Readiness, has been quoted as saying “It’s a matter of judgment, and I think that would be very poor judgment on the part of the commander in chief,…It would be very demoralizing to the troops.” 

Elaine Donnelly

Donnelly is speaking about the recent rumors that William White, the chief operating officer of the Intrepid Museum Foundation, might be selected for the position of the Secretary of the Navy.  Oh one last thing he’s gay and out!!!! 

William White

 

Heaven forbid we ever put a good, gay role model into a position of leadership to exemplify what it can be like with gays in the military.  That would demoralize the troops…?  It’s unfortunate people like Elaine Donnelly like to use their voices to perpetuate a negative view of gay men and women.  But, there is silver lining to Donnelly’s cloud of hate, the Secretary of the Navy is a civilian position meaning William White is eligible for the position even though he is out in the public eye.  You see, DADT cannot be applied to people civilians (I guess it’s that whole taking away the freedom of speech from them and making forcing them to remain in the closet that keeps it from being applied to all of us).  Because of his civilian status William White is safe to be gay and be elected to this position if Obama taps him for it…which I hope he does.  We will see.

 

Below is the Stephen Dinan article from the Washington Times and a second article regarding DADT.

 

 

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2008/dec/18/gay-man-backed-for-navy-secretary/

http://www.newsweek.com/id/177723?GT1=43002

 

 

 

 

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So I just received this little ditty in my email regarding pat boone.  

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=82830

It pains me to put this link up…literally.  I hate to think all the press this hate monger is going to get.  In this recently posted article of his he went as far as to equate our struggle (regarding Prop 8, gay marriage, and other rights) with the extremists that caused the terrorist attacks in Mumbai.

Go ahead read it…I’ll wait.

Now that you’ve had that chance to digest his horrible and awful words lets take a moment and discuss.

First,  mr. boone, I’m gay and I am in no way shape or form like the individuals who have caused the terror in Mumbai.  If you think that me being a political activist equates me to someone who will kill people then you are sadly mistaken, small minded, and unable to comprehend our community.

Secondly, for you to write such awful things about our community and our people then at the bottom of the page tout about your “Broadway headlining,” I have a newsflash for you.  You have performed with tons of gay men and women and it’s a shame that you would say such hateful things about actors and actresses that have aided your career.

Thirdly, let’s take a moment and look at a few things you’ve said shall we…

Every homosexual citizen has the same, identical rights as any other American.” If every homosexual citizen has the same rights as any other American then why is it that we have to fight for regulations to protect us from jobs that will fire us because we are gay…or protect us from those people who will kill us leaving a gay bar?  If we have the same right how is it fair that my married parents can be on each other’s health benefits despite the city in which they live where as I couldn’t have my partner on my benefits nor would he be covered depending on the state we live in?

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/10/nyregion/10assault.html?_r=2

(Mr. Sucuzhanay wasn’t even gay.)

Because this elemental building block of society has been so defined and respected throughout history, elected representatives in our self-government have granted certain supports and tax relief and privileges to marriages and families. Again, these privileges did not originate with some benevolent higher authority – they originated with the people, through the democratic process.

That’s how a free republic works. Our people consecrated our Constitution and determined to live within its provisions, voluntarily. It was determined that the will of the voting majority would rule, though it was subject to change if the majority will changed.” What you fail to realize mr. boone is that a voting majority does not have the right to take away others rights.  That’s not the way it works.  If we were voting on tax raises or voting to create a new road system a majority vote would be acceptable but the minute you try and justify that a  majority can take away rights then the democratic process has been overstepped.  Also, just because you may be in a majority that doesn’t necessarily mean that the “said” majority is right.

No “rights” were ever granted to citizens on the basis of their sexual habits or lifestyle. There simply are no such “rights.”  Perhaps mr. boone needs to study up on his Constitutional Law.  Its a little Supreme Court called Griswold vs. CT.  For those of you who don’t know what this case involved, mr. boone, it involved the use of contraceptives in the state of CT.  Women at one time were not allowed to use contraceptives in CT.  This case argued that a woman’s body is her body and can do with it what she wants…in terms of contraceptives.  The law was over turned allowing for the use of birth control.  It was a crash course in what the meaning of “right to privacy.” A right provided for by the Constitution.  In other words a woman has the RIGHT to take birth control because her body is private and the State cannot dictate what she can and can’t do regarding birth control.  Might I add that this “privacy” which a woman has was granted on the basis of some women’s sexual habits and or lifestyles. This was just a quick glaze over the case it really is a great case and merits further investigation and trust me there are many more cases regarding rights then you realize.

http://www.oyez.org/cases/1960-1969/1964/1964_496/

 

“Slavery was abolished, blacks and women obtained the rights to vote, and these true rights were not obtained by threats and violent demonstrations and civil disruption (though these things did occur, of course), but by due process, congressional deliberations and appropriate ratification. This was democracy in action, not mob rule. As noted journalist Thomas Sowell has said, there never was “a right to win.” In America, at least the America we’ve known till now, rights are earned and won in a deliberative, legal way – at the polls.”  Uuummm correct me if I am wrong but wasn’t one of Thoreau’s and Martin Luther Kings’ tenants Civil Disobedience if a law was not fair. I think I remember something from my Civil Rights class I took in college…that we are obligated as good citizens to demonstrate against rules that are unjust and unfair.  At the moment I don’t think we’ve had any giant violent gay demonstrations?  And if we want to nitpick even more due process wasn’t necessarily reached in your “congressional deliberations and appropriate ratification” when Eisenhower had to call in the Army to desegregate Little Rock Central High School for the Little Rock 9 or when a white mob tormented the people who sat at Woolworths. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_disobediance

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Rock_Nine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greensboro_sit-ins

Finally, “There never were any “rights” granted or designated to those who dissented with the will of the majority, other than the same rights all citizens have to work through the democratic process to accomplish their purposes.”   I think if we operated under this assumption we could very well be British citizens still.  I do believe that our 13 colonies were a minority in regards to England.  I believe we dissented with the will of the majority and fought a war for what we believed were our rights as a new nation…I believe we dissented with the majority when England tried to impose a tax on our tea….a la the Boston Tea Party.

 

The point is mr. boone while you try to paint us as crazy, unjust people, our history is littered with people who have been considered radical but in actuality were quite sane fighting for the rights they know they deserved.  We are no different.  And while you can compare me to a “sexual jihadist” lets not forget to turn that powerful ability to judge on yourself.  You’re right hate is hate and those people who perpetuate it by taking away the rights of others and those people who take the time to fan the flames, mr. boone, are just as guilty of hate as well.

 

P.S. Your argument lacks consistency and validity.  It falls apart with every flimsy argument you make.  I’m not quite sure what is irresponsible or hedonistic of gay men and women fighting for the right to marry one another.   In fact fighting for the right seems to be the exact opposite of hedonism and irresponsibility.

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Yesterday I had a quick chance to check out the Newsweek article that is causing pandemonium amongst the religious right.  If you haven’t read please do, the link is below.

 

http://www.newsweek.com/id/172653/page/1

 

I had saved the link to do a post about it yesterday but unfortunately I was running errands for my job and never had the chance to.  So here is my quip about the article.  I think Newsweek hit the story right on the head.   Lisa Miller has taken what the religious right clings to and used it against them…the bible.  It’s a simple as that.  What is in question is the conventionality of the bible.  Is the bible a reliable source of morals and ethics in today’s society?  I think the answer is yes and no. 

I believe that there are several over-arching, capital T (for you philosophy majors), Truths that are detailed in the bible that add to a moral code that will always be part of life.  Love thy neighbor, treat others as you would want to be treated, don’t kill, don’t steal etc.  These are a part of a moral code or ethics that all people should live by.  But, these morals and ethics are not just a construct of the bible or religion.  They are products humanity.  Now here is where it becomes tricky.  So we have a moral and ethical code created by humanity and it is supported by a religious group, doctrine what have you.  What happens when there is a disconnect between humanity and religion.  What happens when you have humanity saying that it’s okay to do one thing but religion telling you it isn’t okay to do said “thing;”  in this case gay marriage. 

The problem is that the religious right argues points in the bible that are not in accordance to a capital T Truth…a Truth that is in accordance with humanities views.  That’s the problem with the bible is that it lacks the conventionality to continue dictating peoples lives.  I’m not saying Love is an advent of conventionality but is something that is Truth regardless of age, period of history etc.  But the moment people try and use leviticus to tell me I can’t sleep with the person I love and they are wearing a cotton blended shirt they have lost their argument right out of the gate.  While leviticus says a man laying with a man is an abomination he also states that wearing blended fibers is wrong as well.  That is an unconventional belief, hypocritical, and not part of a Truth. 

This is the argument that Lisa Miller put forth in her article for Newsweek and she doesn’t even have to say it.  Miller chips away at the hypocrisy that is contained in the bible.  Notice while she does it she never takes away from the importance of love and loving your neighbor.  Notice how she doesn’t have to dog-ear the hypocrisy in not killing and not stealing….she doesn’t dog-ear those precious pieces of the bible because they are not part of a trivial, unconventional, part of a substandard way to dictate life.  They are part of something much bigger (Truth).    It amazes me how quickly these “religious” people are willing to put up a fight for these little pieces of the bible.  I would understand if Miller argued to not love anyone and to kill and steal.  But, to argue so fervently for doctrine that can’t even be proven as truth blows my mind.  Now I know there are people out there that believe that the bible is a capital t truth but I have one question if your religious doctrine is a truth who are you to say that other religious doctrine aren’t also capital t truths?  Also, if your doctrine is a capital t truth then why aren’t all the followers abiding by it?  I know I know your going to pose the same question to me regarding Love and that is fine.  Not everyone Loves someone else or Loves at all.  But Love is not denied from them, all people have Love and can give Love and can deny Love.  The point is that every one has Love no matter color of skin, creed, or sexual orientation, or gender…it’s your choosing to do with it what you want and nobody can take it away from you.  But marriage on the other hand can be taken away because people believe that Love between to men isn’t the same kind of Love between a man and a woman, and that a marriage which affirms the Love between two people isn’t possible if you’re gay.  It’s funny how we easily equate love and marriage (queue the Sinatra) and how easily people try and dictate that love and marriage only is possible between a man and a woman.  But now we are stepping on the Victorian ideal of marriage…and I’ll save that for another post.

 

 

P.S. I have also added this gem below.  It was comment on the Newsweek blog that posted Millers article.   Delightful I must say, glib and to the point I especially enjoyed the part how nice it was 20 years ago and going back into the closet.   I wonder if we can get their right to vote revoked…..

 

·         Jesus Christ… Here we go again… The Gays are trying to shove there lifestyles in our face,Dam the Constitution! Im sorry but i dont want to hear it. And im so tired of these Liberal whiney peaple who are more worried about political correctness then the law of the land. Hey,i dont hate Gays,thats your business if thats how ya wanna live. I dont have a problem with civil unions,but ill be dammed if the Gays think they can have there own rules. Im not a Religous nut,i dont even go to Church. But im tired of America bowing down to every group with an agenda. We need to bring America back to Normalacy,and the Gays need to cool there jets… It was alot nicer 20 years ago,when they were in the closet. If they cant live by the rules,Maybe they should GO BACK!

 

P.P.S.  Here’s a big gay WOOT WOOT for Lisa Miller whose article was AWESOME!

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So I’ve been surfing around the interweb and discovered a few things that you should read.  There is a blog post about Prop 8 that is just a great post.  I know when you read it you will want to click off of it but read it the entire way though.  You have to trust me on this one…just keep reading!  It is a great post that culturepress shared with me….check her out on my blogroll.

 http://reeva-dubois.blogspot.com/2008/11/prop-8-and-why-im-glad-it-passed.html

 

The second thing I have for you to read is an essay by David J. Jefferson who writes for Newsweek.  It describes his marriage to his parter in CA and his thoughts regarding the passage of Prop 8.  It is a great article and I urge you to read it.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/169195?gt1=43002

Next http://jointheimpact.wetpaint.com/?t=anon has a variety of events coming up.  Since the gay movement is revitalizing they are planning a big event every month to let people know we aren’t just going to go away.  The next events are the postcard writing campaign and Dec. 10th A Day Without Gay.  I hope you will all write postcards to Obama’s transition office whether you are gay or a straight supporter do it.  Again, we need to increase visiablilty.  Those people who want to take away our rights and those representatives that are to scared to stand up for us depend on us to be quiet and to stay closeted.  The louder we are, the more we are out the more people have take notice.  No longer can we just stand here and depend on others or wait for someone else to fight our battles, we have to do this on our own and we have to visible members of the larger community.

 

Liberty and Justice for some or for all?

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Hello everyone!  I thought I would catch up with you very quickly.  It seems since last Wednesday, when we had our gay rally, that I’ve been going full tilt and haven’t had the ability to get my feet back under me.  We planned on Wednesday for the rally.  It was cool to connect with the older gay community and they made me, Lauren, Lucy, and Steve (yes Steve I’ve kinda had a thing for) feel very welcome.

 

I ended up scribing for our group.  There were two; I guess you would say leaders, for us, one gay guy and one straight pastor.  We discussed a variety of plans to show our solidarity.  What we decided on was solidarity bands for our arms, red, white, and blue (because we are all American citizens) speakers, including myself and Lauren (which made me nervous because I’m not completely out) and then there was a symbolic wedding ceremony wedding all us gays and our supporters.  Our protest was set for this past Saturday on the Erie County Court House steps at 1:30pm. 

 

The meeting was great but there was one problem.  The straight pastor kept trying to keep things civil.  It was the whole “you can’t fight hate with hate” idea.  Which is a wonderful idea but I was hot under the collar.  I wanted some loud protests.  I wanted us to be expressive; I wanted us to use a mega-phone etc.  But this pastor kept it civil, which is probably better but to be quite frank I want people to be scared of us.  I want people to be scared of us not because we are gay but because we mean business.  I don’t force my sexuality on anyone and when people feel the need to force their own moral belief on what a marriage is on me I want them to know that I don’t like it.  I want people to take stock in what I have to say, I want to be heard and I want them to listen and answer me.  But that is just me and this being my first rally I didn’t think it would have been to great of me to high jack the rally and go on a religious crusade looking for the mormons.  I kid…and not that their would be a ton of mormons in Erie…I digress.

 

Also this weekend we celebrated a late birthday bar crawl for me but it was Lauren’s birthday as well.  So we had friends staying at our place from Friday until Sunday…then on Sunday Lauren’s parents and siblings came down to visit for the afternoon.  Needless to day I was constantly going this weekend.  In fact I ended up taking a mental health day yesterday.  Not only did I sleep in, I cleaned our kitchen and bathroom, did the dishes, baked a cake for Lauren’s birthday (I wanted to do laundry but our washer and dryer was out of order), and I wrapped gifts.  It was very busy.  Then I had two business meetings this morning. 

 

The Saturday rally was awesome.  We got an early lunch and talked about gay stuff then headed over to the court house.  We were there with our signs and umbrellas (it rained), we had our solidarity ribbons on etc.  There were a couple of speakers one of them was a lesbian I went to college with that I didn’t know was a lesbian…and I saw another girl who was a partner with me in a class that turn out was a lesbian too.  It was like we all came out to each other coming to the rally.  It was a weird but awesome moment!  Both Lauren and I spoke on the steps of the courthouse.  It was scary but empowering.  We briefly talked about how straight people need to be our voices to and help promote gay marriage and I talked about how I was a gay man and how it was unbelievable that people still try to take our rights away from us in 2008 etc.  We had between 80 to 150 people it was hard to estimate.  We ended up on a variety of news outlets.  It was really cool and empowering.  I felt like a part of a community for the first time.  There were no real protestors protesting us.  We did have a variety of people drive past and beep for us from their cars which was awesome.  Afterwards we went to a coffee house with others from the community and other supporters.  It was cool getting to know others.  Plus I’ve decided to try and get a little more into some community activism.  So we will see how it goes.  Overall it has been going going going.  I want to say that I’m ready for Thanksgiving break but it is going to be just as busy at break as it is now.  I have work stuff on Friday, a dental appointment on Monday, then home for Thanksgiving back to Erie the next day, then over to Ohio for another wedding reception for the couple from Oklahoma then we have a friend staying with us until the first Tuesday of Dec and lets not forget the whole Christmas shopping deal that is coming up.  whew…  So that’s about it in a nut shell.

 

In terms of the dating world; Craig and I are still seeing each other intermittently for gay wrestling matches.  I’m still making attempts to take Lauren’s co-worker on a date but I can never seem to ask him or catch him when he is at work….Steve and I are now friends.  I still want to make out with him but not much else…or at least I keep telling myself that.  It’s nice to have a gay friend though.  We’ve been hanging out much more lately.  It is weird cause I feel like I like him, but I wonder if it’s just me liking having a gay friend and then some of the things he says about past ex’s makes me anxious.  So I don’t know what is going on. 

 

On a final note…winter has finally come to Erie.  We got something like 2 feet from Sunday into Monday…the Farmer’s Almanac says it going to be bad this winter…did I ever mention I hate the Farmer’s Almanac.

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For those of you who voted for Prop 8 (or any other Prop defining marriage as being between a man and woman) in an effort to support a “traditional marriage” and/or preserve “family values” lets take a moment and look at some things.

 

While you denied me my right to marry, you allow those heterosexual couples that sexually, mentally, and verbally abuse each other the right to marry.  Is that your idea of a traditional marriage or good values or a good environment to raise a child?

 

While you denied me my right to marry, you allow those men and women with drug problems to marry and raise a family.  Is that your idea of family values?

 

While you denied me my right to marry, you allowed children to languish in a state system because you refuse to allow unmarried people to adopt.  Is that your idea of a good personal moral compass?

 

While you voted yes for Prop 8 you easily took rights away from me and other gay couples.  Tell me was it easy for you to check yes?  Do you sleep easily at night knowing you marginalize people?  I’m guessing you probably do.

 

Well here is what I think…Any woman that voted for Prop 8 or any definition of marriage being between a man and a woman should have her right to vote taken away from her.  It seems only fair considering we celebrated the 88th anniversary of your right to vote.  You know the saying “an eye for any eye”…well now it should be a right for a right.

 

For any man that voted for Prop 8 or any definition of marriage being between a man and a woman you are small minded.  Your inability to see past us being gay to realize that we are people just the same as you and deserve the same rights exemplifies just how narrow minded you are.  You should have your right to freedom of speech taken away because what you have to say is filled with lies and bigotry.  You take away one of my rights I should be allowed to take away one of your rights.

 

For any mormon that voted for Prop 8 or any definition of marriage being between a man and a woman you pouring 20 million into supporting Prop 8 shows me that you are scared worthless people.  Your right to practice your religion freely should be taken away and we should get to persecute you.

 

 

For any Senator, State Representative or person holding public office if you state that you want to protect the rights of the gay community but believe marriage is between a man and a woman you make it morally acceptable for people to marginalize us.  You lack the ability to stand up for those of us that have been marginalized and we deserve a strong voice in office that will stand up and fight for us and not just for another term in office.

 

For the members of the gay community that read this…now is the time to be angry.  It is time we define ourselves differently.  No longer should we be a gay community, we are a community committed to gay rights.  We are committed to rights that we deserve and should be willing to have our voices heard for.  Now is the time to picket the churches that we go to that depend on our patronage to continue.  We shouldn’t give our money to them the same way they won’t give us the right to marry.  Now is the time to have open discourse and discussion with those people who don’t believe we should marry and educate them properly.  We need to show them that we are not a group of people who deserve to be marginalized.  It is time for us to be angry and upset and it is time for us to be heard.

 

http://www.jointheimpact.com/

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I hope this finds you well and enjoying your Friday.  Things are good with me, busy, but good.  There are a couple things I’d like to cover.

 

First a questions:  Since I can see Canada from Erie does that mean I have foreign policy experience?  I’m just wondering.

 

Secondly, perhaps if Bush wasn’t to busy trying to invade Afghanistan and Iraq, or trying to define marriage as being between a man and a woman we wouldn’t be in our current financial mess.  ASSHOLE.  For the record, Bush and his buddies were given a surplus of $128 billion.  Check out the article. 

 

 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/07/28/2009.deficit/index.html

 

As far as I’m concerned it’s we middle class folk that will be the ones carrying the burden.  Can anyone else see the disconnect that the republicans have with the working class?  What concerns me the most about it is that I’m starting to get use to it.  Isn’t that awful?  Gas prices soar, I have to get use to it.  Food prices skyrocket, I have to get use to it.  The American financial system is a mess; I’ll get use to it.  It’s like I wake up everyday and see some new and senseless problem our government has gotten us into and I’m not surprised any more.

 

One more thing on my political rantyness (I know it’s not a real word).  I love how Palin met with 9 foreign leaders in 30 hours this week.  There’s nothing like a cram session before the debates.  HHHEEEELLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO I don’t know about anyone else but when I would cram for a test the end result was never in my favor. 

 

As for the upcoming debates I would just like to say I hope Palin is ready one, because of the lack of foreign policy experience, and two because she is a woman.  For those of you who will cry that sexism will run rampant and that Biden should go easy on her, you can all go to hell.  We are in a fast paced political arena and Palin had better be ready to carry her own.  This self proclaimed barracuda will have to do battle in the media spotlight and frankly it isn’t going to be pretty.  The other thing is would the world have been willing to give Hillary Clinton an easy run at the debates.  Hell no, they would have tried to tear her apart. 

 

Okay I know I could go on and on about this forever (except its making me sick) but we have more important things to cover…like my love life…or lack there of.

 

 

So currently I’m torn.  I have Steve on one hand.  He’s cute and totally out but he has a certain roughness about him.  Some of the things he has said has been harsh or a little mean.  I’ve had several friends tell me that I could do better which is new dynamic in flirting with him.  Also, I came out to him “officially” a couple nights ago and I think it changed the flirting that was occurring between us.  I don’t want to flirt with him but I just can’t help myself.   Have you ever noticed that when people say they can’t help themselves it usually ends badly with said person having to admit that they made a huge error or lapse in their judgment…I don’t like that.  But when I’m around him I just can’t stop.  I get all school girlish and I’m not normally like that. 

 

Then I have Dave the older guy that sexually harassed me this week (jesus that sounds like a messed up line…Dear Diary, I’m crushin’ on the man that sexually harassed me (said in a school girl voice)).  We exchanged several emails and I find that I’m aroused at the fact that he is older and hitting on me.  But he doesn’t strike me as my type.  If we were ever to get together to do man “activities” I really think it would just be for the gratification of it.  I try not to do fall into that stereotype of instant self gratification that we gays sometime find ourselves stamped with, but my hormones sometimes over power my ability to make sound decisions.

 

I’m very torn…and horny…a dangerous combination…ugh.

 

On a brighter note, it is my almater’s homecoming and Lauren and I have a ton of friends that are in town and staying with us.  I’m uber excited about it.  One because I love my college, two I love my friends, but three, I hope it will take my mind off my current crush crisis.  There will be ample booze to sample and food to eat.  We have our football game etc and its always such a great time!

 

I’ll let you know how the weekend goes in my next post.  Wish me luck with the boys and have a fun filled weekend! Don’t stay indoors blogging to much the days are getting colder, enjoy the weather!

 

 

 

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