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Alright you guys I promised a “blind date update” and I shall deliver.  As I had mentioned before blind dating, at least for me, has always been filled with a certain amount of anxiety induced dry heaves…Wednesday wasn’t anything different.  I bolted from work and got home with just enough time to change, brush my teeth, and deodorize then it was out the door to a little restaurant for dinner.  I grab a table and wait and it isn’t long before I am greeted by Mike.  He is a little taller than me, cute, short cropped hair; he has a nice smile and a little sole patch on his lower lip, so far so good.  Sans the fact I could smell cigarette smoke on him…ew.

We had talked briefly on the phone before hand and had some idea of where to steer the conversation.  I had spent most of Wednesday trying to finalize a list of topics to chat with him about.  We order appetizers and the evening wears on.  It is about halfway through the evening that I realize that my list of topics to discuss has dwindled and the awkward silences were on their way.  As it turned out guess who didn’t prepare himself for conversation…Mike.   So over all it was almost like a one sided conversation.  I would ask a question, Mike would answer, then queue awkward silence, then I would answer the same question….boring and awkward.  It wasn’t looking good and I was thinking this was only going to be a onetime date.  But I stopped myself.

You see I’ve been told repeatedly that I set my standards way to high when it comes to dating and that I should be will to give people “the benefit of the doubt,” benefit of the doubt being the key phrase; so instead of making some lame excuse to leave I decided to try and salvage a bit of the evening.  We eventually end up near the bay in Erie and the chatting has slowed to some extent and it is nice just walking and enjoying the evening.  We eventually end up back in his car seats tilted back star gazing.  I can appreciate a date with some twists to it and this was turning out better than I had expected. 

The evening wears down and Mike has to leave so I have him stop at an ATM.  I wanted to pay for my half of dinner.  It was a little on the pricey side and I think it is always good to double dutch on a first date.  I give him my half and he promptly asks me, “Does this mean I’m not going to see you again?”  I laugh off the question and tell him no and my theory about double dutching.  He stops a few spaces from my car and leans over to give me a hug and I’m thinking it was going to be one of the consolation hugs.  Nothing big but he ends up just putting his arms around me and giving me a big strong hug…a hug from a guy that hasn’t hugged someone in a while.  So I enjoy it and I hear him whisper something about thinking I would be fun to cuddle with.  Now I’m not a cuddler but with the way he hugged made me want to cuddle with him.  So one thing leads to the next and we are kissing.  It is nice and I am enjoying and for all intensive purposes it seems like he is enjoying it too.  I tell him if he wants to come over and cuddle for a bit that would be fine.  I realized he had a 30 minute drive ahead of him and he had to be at work by8 the next morning but I thought it wouldn’t a late cuddle.  (and for all of you thinking cuddling means more you are mistaken…I only do that type of “cuddling” after the second date…I kid! But really I was just looking for a cuddle).  His body seemed to say yes but his mind was saying “I have to work” his mind ended up winning.  So we part ways and I’m pretty pleased other than the awful conversation and the smoking he seemed like a nice guy that I would mind going out with again.  I text him a bit later letting him know the good time I had and suggested we maybe meet on Monday.  I get nothing back.  No problem…It’s late.

Well, night turns to day and I still haven’t heard anything.  So I end up emailing him (he knew I was going to email him to because I said I would with the title of a book he might like).  The day progresses on and I am becoming more anxious.  Finally, I text him one more time and I still get no response.  It is now 5 days since the date and I have heard nothing from Mike.  That son of a bitch duped me into wanting to cuddle with him and then ditched me.

Now you know why I hate blind dates…and cuddling.  I think the worse part of all is the fact that I was willing to over look the fact that he was conversationally challenged and killing himself on cig at a time but apparently he wasn’t willing to over look my less than appealing traits (of which I have none, that’s a joke).    Also, now I’m left dissecting the evening trying to figure out what I had done or maybe said that made him not want to communicate at all with me at all after the date.  You know a text or email saying I had a good time but I’m not interested in you would have been thoughtful…right?  So much for benefit of a doubt that really screwed me!  But I guess all you can do is keep on trying…but I vow to you I will NEVER be duped into wanting to cuddle again!

 

(pic from http://www.motivatedphotos.com/?id=12770)

 

(pic from http://graphjam.com/2008/03/31/funny-graphs-why-blind-dates-so-often-fail/)

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Hello world.  It’s so nice to be back.  It has been so hectic at work I’ve been unable to blog appropriately to you all.  Things have been going good!  It feels so good to sit down and get to typing and seeing what has been going on in the blogging universe.  Let’s catch you up with the happenings in Erie.

 

Frank and I have been seeing each other for just about three months.  It has been great; he is a very nice guys and I enjoy the time we spend together.  With that said dating hasn’t come without some rough patches.  I’ve learned a whole bunch about juggling time between work, friends, family, and dating.  It becomes even more difficult when Frank started meeting my friends.  Our age difference still makes it awkward, at least for me, but what can I do.  I can’t stop enjoying the company of my friends just because Frank is older than me/us.  It has been a definite balancing act though.  I try to spend specific days with Frank and specific days with friends…then toss in 8 hours of work and day to day errands and it gets a little exhausting.  But all in all the dating is going well.

 

I just finished my summer schedule and literally every weekend this summer is filled.  I have five weddings 3 of which I’m in and a variety of rehearsals dinners, ball games, and a cottage vacation with Lauren and her family.  I’m burned out just thinking about it considering it begins the last weekend of this month.

 

Next Tuesday my Sister and I have tickets to go see Bruce Springsteen!!!!! I’m uber excited for it and going with my Sister.  We are going to go early and try and get into the pit.  I’m all about waiting in line for seven hours!!!!!!!  Plus I have a half day of work on Monday then I head home to stay with my parents.  It is going to be a great weekend!

 

Now for the really good stuff!  Gay Marriage!!!!  For those who haven’t been keeping up recent political movements Maine has legalized gay marriage!  It is great step in our battle for equal rights.  Not far behind Maine is New Hampshire.  There are hammering out the fine details but I’ve heard that New Hampshire Gov. John Lynch would sign the bill if the churches had some security measures against legal recourse if they refuse to marry gay couples.  Also on the march for rights is New York.  Its own gay marriage bill has passed the house and will go to the Senate.  This isn’t the first time New York has tried to pass a gay marriage bill (check the bottom of the link for the details). 

 

But with all this great movement for our right to be married we do have to remember a couple things.  First, we still have many, many states to see gay marriage bills passed.  Including those states with mini-DOMA’s.  Now is not the time to be complacent we need to still fight for our rights.  Just because several states understand the idea behind progressing the rights others deserve there are many more that would like to keep marriage a purely hetersexual right.  We Must Keep Fighting.  Secondly, we cannot foreget other aspect of our fight for rights.  We have to remember our transgendered community as well.  Also we have to remember we can’t just fight for gay marriage we have to fight for all rights for our LGBT Community.  I stumbled upon this article a few weeks ago and it is importantthat it be read.  It notes the struggles that gay, binational couples/married couples have.  You see while we hae some states that allow us to marry, federally we are not recognized as being married.  Whcih means binational coules cannot recieive their green cards and live ina country that recognizes their marriage.  This is an example of the differences between state and federally recognized rights.  This leads me to my final thing to remember.  These fights have been done at the state level not the federal level.  At some point in time we will have to hold Obama, his Administration, and the current Congress to their promises of equalit and pass rights at the federal level.  Otherwise our rights will memain a mishmas  of gine and with-held rights.  We deserve the full benefits of living in a country; this includes all rights provided by citizens and not just a buffet of rights.

 

Finally, last Thursday was my 1 year blog birthday.  I want to thank all those of you out there that take the time to read my rants and raves.  I love blogging and being part of such a wonderful and creative community.  I especially want to give my blogroll a shout out!  They help inspire and keep going.  I love the discourse we have with one another.  Everyone should check out those who are on my blogroll because they are awesome!!!! Woot woot!!!!!!!

 

Thank you bloggers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hello bloggers!  I hope you are doing well and getting ready for a wonderful weekend.  Erie is starting to shed its winter and soggy spring and morphing into 70 degree with for the next four days.  It is about time considering were had a snow and rain mix (otherwise known as sleet).

I apologize for the late post.  The past week has been full tilt, balls to walls busy.  Between my regular daily routines (laundry, dinner, dishes etc…you know those fun adult things you have to do so you don’t live in squalor) work and more dating with Frank life has been quite busy actually.  You know the John Lennon quote, “Life happens when you are making up other plans” well that is what has been a happening recently.  It has been busy which isn’t necessarily bad. 

You heard right Frank and I are exclusively dating one another which is nice.  I am still trying to get my wits about dating.  Needless to say it has been quite some time since I’ve dated…let alone dated a man.  Yes in the past I have dated women but I never went beyond a nice make-out session.  Nope; no naked parties with the ladies!  We have been seeing each other for about two months and it has been really nice.  It is a whole different world when it comes to exclusively dating one person…after several years of playing the field without exclusivity being a top priority I find myself lost in the world of monogamy.  Not that I can’t be monogamous; that isn’t it at all (I sound like a cheater but I don’t cheat…eep!).  It’s that as you work your way through the dating world one become adept at one’s own independence.  It is a whole different perspective when you have to think about someone else, and let’s face it I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy my independence.  So I am slowly navigating the land of exclusive dating, proper dating etiquette (who is paying for the bill etc), trying not to see him too much during the week/making sure I see my friends too.  You know all the usual stuff.  So it’s been good and I will keep you abreast on the dating world!

I had one faithful reader ask me if I was going to do an editorial regarding the whole Miss California debacle.  I debated about it but I ultimately decided not to honor her with a full rant because she represents the ignorance of people…and because she said this on stage and has already been publically mock…which she should be.  There are a couple things to consider though regarding Miss California.  One, we will start with the Miss America contest itself.  **Sammy clears his throat and gets in touch with his feminist side** Of all the hackneyed places for a young woman to declare her feelings regarding the political hot bed of gay marriage, Miss California decides to do it on a stage where she is being judged on her outward appearance.  She does it on a stage where she and other young women parade around being judged for “scholarship” money.  I just think that it is ironic that this young woman decided to come out against gay marriage at an event that judges women in bathing suits.  I mean come on we are talking about a program that bases 20% of a contestants score on her evening wear compared to the 5% of her score being based on her on stage question.  Secondly, she’s correct when she says she didn’t win the crown because of the question.  If you really wanted that crown and you had any sense about you you would lie and say that you agreed with gay marriage or at least a civil union.  How could she not know the backlash of that question?  Apparently she didn’t want that crown bad enough.  But I will give her this at least she spoke up for what she believed in…I’m not sure if this was before or after the swimsuit section of the evening…but at least she was true to herself and  her character (**Sammy rolls his eyes and shakes his head).  We’ll see the tune she is whistling when the she has her first gay hair dresser yank out a fist full of hair because he can’t marry his partner because marriage is between a man and a woman.   Finally, I can’t take Miss California seriously because she paints herself up and squeezes herself into a dress to parade around in front of camera in a competition that considers your talent as 35% of your score and while judging your ability to look at the world and see an injustice and speak out against that injustice as 5%of their score…in my opinion Miss California score was very low in the onstage question portion of the evening and that speaks more about her than any bathing suit, talent, or evening gown could ever say about her.

 

Here is a little something for Miss California’s conservative sensibilities 😉  Have a great weekend everyone!  I’ve missed you and can’t wait to post with you next week.  And remember marriage can only be between a man and a woman 😉

 

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Greetings everyone!  So last night Frank and I went out to see one of his friends/colleagues  play a piano concerto with the Erie Phil Harmonic but, this wasn’t a normal date oh no.  Remember how I mentioned that I was uber anxious meeting his friends/colleagues and vice a versa…well he thought it would be a great idea to invite me to the concert while he brought a friend and I could bring a friend.  Well, in hopes of putting some of my anxieties to ease, and/or having something wild to blog about, I accepted. 

I feel I should be a little clearer as to why I was so nervous about going to these concerts with Frank. (I’ve been trying to keep Frank’s history and profession a little bit guarded considering he doesn’t know I have a blog)  Frank is a musician and these concerts are populated with a ton of people that he knows and on top of that the audience is usually filled with a ton of his peers(for example I met his boss last night).  It is kind of a big deal because I am meeting these people and while it is not official to everyone that we go on dates with each other, people, I believe make the connection and after said connection I suspect there is a pondering on their part regarding our age difference.   With that being said lets continue…

I decided to bring Steve along with me.  It seemed simple enough and I circumnavigated bringing someone for him to” officially” to meet by bringing Steve.  Frank’s gay, Steve’s gay, I’m gay, Frank and Steve already know one another…I’m in the clear right? Wrong…dead wrong.  You see the concert was at 7:30 in the evening and yesterday oh say about 2ish…I get a  phone call, it was Steve and he had to bail on me for work reasons…perfect.  I was left with two options 1) Go alone…terrifying…enough said 2) Find another friend to take…it was going to have to be someone who didn’t know Frank because no one else has met Frank.  Who ends up being my replacement?  Lauren.  Obviously I opt for option two which is fine because I love Lauren and she’s great but she also is important to me so I want the meeting to go smoothly.  I want them to like one another etc.

Lauren shows up at my work place and we are off.  In the end the meeting went rather well.  Lauren and Frank got a long swimmingly and I was pretty pleased.  Unfortunately, Frank is out of town/wildly busy for the next week and a half; I’m sad but I’m anxious to see where things go when he gets back/finished with work.  It’s really good as of right now.   I will definitely keep you guys posted.

Below are two pieces that were played last night that I found exceptionally beautiful! (Mind you these are not the people we saw just other orchestra playing the same pieces.

 This first piece Franks friend played the piano concerto part.  This is the Piano Concerto No. 2 in F by Dmitri Shostakovich (it is the second part, the Andante part)

 

This was one of my favorite pieces of the night.  It is Johannes Brahms 3rd Symphony in F.  It is the third part, Poco Allegretto, out of the 4 pieces of the symphony. 

 

 P.S. This was such a good date we went on…it was great to hear the Erie Phil Harmonic

 On a final note I just want to say thanks to those of you who have gave advice and commented over the past few blogs regarding dating and age differences etc.  It is greatly appreciated!

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Hello all!  I hope you are doing well this Friday afternoon.  Things are bright, clear, and cool here in Erie.  Things have been going pretty well as of lately.  I’ve been out several times with Frank and things are progressing nicely (including the naked parties)!  I was over at his house yesterday when our conversation turned serious though.  As some of you may recall Frank is older than me.  And I don’t mean 5 years older than….let’s just say it is over ten years older than me.  For the past month we have been going out on dates (don’t to be confused with dating each other) when last night Frank asked me if we were dating….in terms of exclusively each other.  The question is a big one that I have been struggling with recently.  I’m not sure how I feel about dating someone exclusively…whether he be older or younger than me…and I think that questioning appeared on my face when he asked me.  Because he then said we could just still be going out on dates.

We ended up laying together on his futon as I had spilled my guts about us dating.  I told him how I was nervous about dating, considering the age thing, the fact that he would be the first guy that I ever legitimately dated.  It was a good conversation that needed to happen.  It put me, surprisingly, more at ease.  He told me that he has dated someone young like this before and that he does think about how people might react to him dating a much younger guy…and how he decided that he would take it one day at a time and that he didn’t really care what other people thought.  What did matter was that he was having fun and that he was happy (which were perfect answers).  So that’s where Frank and I stand at the moment.  I hate that fact that he seems so at ease with this…and all I can think about is who is going to see us I public.  I hate the fact that I fret about having the possibility of explaining to people that I’m gay but also dating a much older man.  It seems so trivial though…I look at some of my gay friends and the wrecks of gay relationships they’ve had and here I have Frank who is nice, kind, and respectful to me.  I’m attracted to him and vica versa.  And all I do is fret.  It seems as though my neurosis has gotten the best of me at the moment.  We will see how it goes from here…he did invite me to a personal concert he is giving (he is a musician of sorts) and I would end up meeting a ton of his peers….as if my neurosis and fretting wasn’t on high alert as is!  The idea of meeting this peers and them, being of reasonable intelligence, putting two and two together and realizing we were seeing each other may be putting too much stress on my already addled mind.  He did tell me that I did have to come if I wasn’t comfortable and that we could still be going on dates with one another.  He told me that it was all about me being comfortable….which again is a perfect answer.  So we will see and of course I will let you all know whether or not I go to the concert and the shenanigans that ensue.

 

I hope everyone has had a wonderful week.  Work has been a bit hectic lately.  We’ve recently had an increase in clients and it has upped my work load almost exponentially.  Needless to say it has been hectic recently.  On a fun note…my Sister and I scored two tickets to see Bruce Springsteen in May!!!!  I’m uber excited over the whole concert and seeing it with my Sister.  It is a nice thing that we bond over especially since my Mother was the one who turned us onto the Boss.  This will be my third Springsteen concert and my Sister’s second.  I CANT’ WAIT FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We snagged general admission tickets meaning if we get to the concert hall early enough there is a possibility of us being in the first row…which I think is the closest to heaven you can be on Earth.  So in honor of my Sister and Is concert tickets here is a little Bruce juice for you to enjoy in the comfort of your home 😉

 

 

(This is one of my FAVORITE Bruce songs!)

Well that is about it for now.  I will be sure to let you know the entire goings on when I get back from the weekend.  Frank and I are supposed to hang out tonight and I’m pretty excited!

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