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Greetings everyone!  So last night Frank and I went out to see one of his friends/colleagues  play a piano concerto with the Erie Phil Harmonic but, this wasn’t a normal date oh no.  Remember how I mentioned that I was uber anxious meeting his friends/colleagues and vice a versa…well he thought it would be a great idea to invite me to the concert while he brought a friend and I could bring a friend.  Well, in hopes of putting some of my anxieties to ease, and/or having something wild to blog about, I accepted. 

I feel I should be a little clearer as to why I was so nervous about going to these concerts with Frank. (I’ve been trying to keep Frank’s history and profession a little bit guarded considering he doesn’t know I have a blog)  Frank is a musician and these concerts are populated with a ton of people that he knows and on top of that the audience is usually filled with a ton of his peers(for example I met his boss last night).  It is kind of a big deal because I am meeting these people and while it is not official to everyone that we go on dates with each other, people, I believe make the connection and after said connection I suspect there is a pondering on their part regarding our age difference.   With that being said lets continue…

I decided to bring Steve along with me.  It seemed simple enough and I circumnavigated bringing someone for him to” officially” to meet by bringing Steve.  Frank’s gay, Steve’s gay, I’m gay, Frank and Steve already know one another…I’m in the clear right? Wrong…dead wrong.  You see the concert was at 7:30 in the evening and yesterday oh say about 2ish…I get a  phone call, it was Steve and he had to bail on me for work reasons…perfect.  I was left with two options 1) Go alone…terrifying…enough said 2) Find another friend to take…it was going to have to be someone who didn’t know Frank because no one else has met Frank.  Who ends up being my replacement?  Lauren.  Obviously I opt for option two which is fine because I love Lauren and she’s great but she also is important to me so I want the meeting to go smoothly.  I want them to like one another etc.

Lauren shows up at my work place and we are off.  In the end the meeting went rather well.  Lauren and Frank got a long swimmingly and I was pretty pleased.  Unfortunately, Frank is out of town/wildly busy for the next week and a half; I’m sad but I’m anxious to see where things go when he gets back/finished with work.  It’s really good as of right now.   I will definitely keep you guys posted.

Below are two pieces that were played last night that I found exceptionally beautiful! (Mind you these are not the people we saw just other orchestra playing the same pieces.

 This first piece Franks friend played the piano concerto part.  This is the Piano Concerto No. 2 in F by Dmitri Shostakovich (it is the second part, the Andante part)

 

This was one of my favorite pieces of the night.  It is Johannes Brahms 3rd Symphony in F.  It is the third part, Poco Allegretto, out of the 4 pieces of the symphony. 

 

 P.S. This was such a good date we went on…it was great to hear the Erie Phil Harmonic

 On a final note I just want to say thanks to those of you who have gave advice and commented over the past few blogs regarding dating and age differences etc.  It is greatly appreciated!

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 I hope this finds everyone well and resting after an eventful Thanksgiving holiday.  I apologized, yet again, for life interfering with my blogging.  I know you have all been foaming at the mouth waiting for my next post 😉 

It has been a mess of two weeks.  My boss was out of the office for a week and I made a terrible assumption that the few days prior to my tiny Thanksgiving vacation would be low key…I was dead wrong.  Work turned out to be a mess of phone calls, projects, and other various tasks that had me wishing for my next cocktail.  Along with this and the ever present threat of snow in Erie (which never came) my trip home to Pittsburgh had me frazzled by the time Wednesday rolled around. 

I managed to finish work and head home.  I could only stay one day with my parents considering the coming Saturday would be a wedding reception I had to attend for the couple that was married in Oklahoma.  Thanksgiving was wonderful it was great being with  my full family and extended family on my Mother’s side…unfortunately I had to miss my second Thanksgiving dinner with my Father’s Italian side of the family due to the reception…which,  may I add, is punishable by Italian death!

I managed to get a visit in with my High School best friend, who’s Father got me drunk, then I fell off my first two steps of my porch…it was slick out (this was the day before Thanksgiving so no I wasn’t drinking and driving).  I arrived late Friday evening in Erie and caught some quick hang out time with Steve at his place of employment.  I still want to make out with him even though I know it will be a mistake.  Saturday I was up early pressing shirts, grooming myself for the reception and wrapping gifts etc.  Lauren picked me up and we were off to Ohio for the second reception.  We stayed at a nice hotel and the reception was a fun, drunken mess.  Lauren’s parents were there and all these great people from my Alma Mater.   The next day we had brunch with the groom, bride, and their families then it was off to Erie again…this time with the Bride’s friend from OK. We hit it off so well that he decided to come to the reception then crash with us until tonight.  He is a lot of fun but I can’t tell if he is gay or not.  He has straight tendencies then he will call me “honey” or refer to Lauren as “sweetie.”  Again I kinda want to make out with him but I think I’m not going to test those waters quite yet. 

So here I am two weeks later and bushed.  I thought after October life would settle down a bit and it hasn’t.  It seems to have dragged on into December.  All I know is that I’m going to be going steady, in terms of work and holiday preparation, until Dec. 24th…the day I get to drive home for Christmas.  Even then I don’t stop because along with my holiday festivities two days after Christmas I fly to DC for New Years.  I’m beside myself with everything.

On a political note…I’ve been more active in our LGBT community group.  We had a folding party last week to get the Erie Gay Newsletter out…we participated in the postcard mailing join the impact has been talking about.  What is really cool I don’t know if I’ve blogged about it yet is that Erie was featured in the Advocates blog on their website regarding our Prop 8 Protest!!!!  It was uber exciting and validating knowing smaller areas were getting some of the attention considering we had a smaller turn out then in places like San Francisco, New York etc.  We are planning other events and things to do in terms of gay activism.  One of the cool things we have been discussing is having a gathering at one of our local theaters to go see Milk (which I am dying to see!)

What else what else what else.

My love life or lack there of is in its typical state of gay mess.  I am still “seeing” John even if it’s for even games of gay wrestling.  I managed to give my number to the guy that Lauren works with at her second job.  I made another assumption thinking he was more my speed and that he would call me…and I wrong again.  2008 has not been the year of men for Sammy.  It’s the typical fashion for dating recently with me…but it’s okay the spell should be broken…right!?!?!?!!?  Then there’s Steve.  Steve and I have been hanging out pretty regularly.  I think it is safe to say that he is one of my first true gay friends that I can commiserate with.  It’s nice to have someone like that.  I mean Lauren is great but she’s not gay and it’s a little harder for straight people to understand the inner workings of us gay men.  And I’m sure she is sick and tired of hearing me rant on and on about being gay.  The problem with Steve is that I can’t rectify my feelings for him.  It started out with me wanting him, then not wanting him, then being his friend then still wanting to make out with him.  I look at him and I can see potential boyfriend material.  He’s a little rough around the edges and yes he is brash with what he says but there is something of a decent moral fabric there….but then again I’m typing with my rose colored glasses on and that has the tendency to get me in trouble.  He needs some fine tuning but he’s got some character.  But I’m not sure if he is attracted to me.  I am stuck in the hard place of wanting to see if something happens, not wanting to scare away my first gay friend…ugh it’s just a big old gray area. 

 

Well that is about it for now.  I hope you all are gay readers are continuing checking in with join the impact.  We have day without gay coming up and so on.  We have to keep ourselves active and continue working for our rights! 

 

I hope you all are doing well and had a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving!!!!!!  I hope it was filled with tons of food (especially turkey my favorite!!!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tons of pie

 

 

 

 And perhaps some sweet man candy 😉

 

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Hello everyone!  I thought I would catch up with you very quickly.  It seems since last Wednesday, when we had our gay rally, that I’ve been going full tilt and haven’t had the ability to get my feet back under me.  We planned on Wednesday for the rally.  It was cool to connect with the older gay community and they made me, Lauren, Lucy, and Steve (yes Steve I’ve kinda had a thing for) feel very welcome.

 

I ended up scribing for our group.  There were two; I guess you would say leaders, for us, one gay guy and one straight pastor.  We discussed a variety of plans to show our solidarity.  What we decided on was solidarity bands for our arms, red, white, and blue (because we are all American citizens) speakers, including myself and Lauren (which made me nervous because I’m not completely out) and then there was a symbolic wedding ceremony wedding all us gays and our supporters.  Our protest was set for this past Saturday on the Erie County Court House steps at 1:30pm. 

 

The meeting was great but there was one problem.  The straight pastor kept trying to keep things civil.  It was the whole “you can’t fight hate with hate” idea.  Which is a wonderful idea but I was hot under the collar.  I wanted some loud protests.  I wanted us to be expressive; I wanted us to use a mega-phone etc.  But this pastor kept it civil, which is probably better but to be quite frank I want people to be scared of us.  I want people to be scared of us not because we are gay but because we mean business.  I don’t force my sexuality on anyone and when people feel the need to force their own moral belief on what a marriage is on me I want them to know that I don’t like it.  I want people to take stock in what I have to say, I want to be heard and I want them to listen and answer me.  But that is just me and this being my first rally I didn’t think it would have been to great of me to high jack the rally and go on a religious crusade looking for the mormons.  I kid…and not that their would be a ton of mormons in Erie…I digress.

 

Also this weekend we celebrated a late birthday bar crawl for me but it was Lauren’s birthday as well.  So we had friends staying at our place from Friday until Sunday…then on Sunday Lauren’s parents and siblings came down to visit for the afternoon.  Needless to day I was constantly going this weekend.  In fact I ended up taking a mental health day yesterday.  Not only did I sleep in, I cleaned our kitchen and bathroom, did the dishes, baked a cake for Lauren’s birthday (I wanted to do laundry but our washer and dryer was out of order), and I wrapped gifts.  It was very busy.  Then I had two business meetings this morning. 

 

The Saturday rally was awesome.  We got an early lunch and talked about gay stuff then headed over to the court house.  We were there with our signs and umbrellas (it rained), we had our solidarity ribbons on etc.  There were a couple of speakers one of them was a lesbian I went to college with that I didn’t know was a lesbian…and I saw another girl who was a partner with me in a class that turn out was a lesbian too.  It was like we all came out to each other coming to the rally.  It was a weird but awesome moment!  Both Lauren and I spoke on the steps of the courthouse.  It was scary but empowering.  We briefly talked about how straight people need to be our voices to and help promote gay marriage and I talked about how I was a gay man and how it was unbelievable that people still try to take our rights away from us in 2008 etc.  We had between 80 to 150 people it was hard to estimate.  We ended up on a variety of news outlets.  It was really cool and empowering.  I felt like a part of a community for the first time.  There were no real protestors protesting us.  We did have a variety of people drive past and beep for us from their cars which was awesome.  Afterwards we went to a coffee house with others from the community and other supporters.  It was cool getting to know others.  Plus I’ve decided to try and get a little more into some community activism.  So we will see how it goes.  Overall it has been going going going.  I want to say that I’m ready for Thanksgiving break but it is going to be just as busy at break as it is now.  I have work stuff on Friday, a dental appointment on Monday, then home for Thanksgiving back to Erie the next day, then over to Ohio for another wedding reception for the couple from Oklahoma then we have a friend staying with us until the first Tuesday of Dec and lets not forget the whole Christmas shopping deal that is coming up.  whew…  So that’s about it in a nut shell.

 

In terms of the dating world; Craig and I are still seeing each other intermittently for gay wrestling matches.  I’m still making attempts to take Lauren’s co-worker on a date but I can never seem to ask him or catch him when he is at work….Steve and I are now friends.  I still want to make out with him but not much else…or at least I keep telling myself that.  It’s nice to have a gay friend though.  We’ve been hanging out much more lately.  It is weird cause I feel like I like him, but I wonder if it’s just me liking having a gay friend and then some of the things he says about past ex’s makes me anxious.  So I don’t know what is going on. 

 

On a final note…winter has finally come to Erie.  We got something like 2 feet from Sunday into Monday…the Farmer’s Almanac says it going to be bad this winter…did I ever mention I hate the Farmer’s Almanac.

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Alright bitches I am back and I am alive after my wedding adventure.  So let me give you the lowdown on the event.  Traveling was fine, I had a half day of work then Lauren and I drove to Pittsburgh flew from there to Hotlanta then from Hotlanta to Oklahoma City.  The Bride and Groom to be were waiting at the gates for us and it was a wonderful reunion.  That was Tuesday evening.  Wednesday and Thursday were spent visiting and doing minor wedding chores…and mellowing out the grooms Mother who was on high wedding alert.  We bottled barbeque sauce (which was the favor at the reception as well as a donation to a local charity for each person that attended), we also picked up Oklahoma paraphernalia for the out of town guests (they had boxes waiting for them when they checked into their hotel rooms…the boxes had all sorts of Oklahoma goodies). 

 

Let me tell you Oklahoma is flat, I was informed by the native Okies that there were in fact mountains, but I am having a hard time believing it.  Also, apparently Oklahoma is the home of the largest hill in the world…LOL.  P.S. I was waiting to see my first tornado, I know it wasn’t tornado season but a boy can hope can’t he?!

 

It was nice being there a few days early to just catch up with the bride and groom.  I haven’t seen the bride since she graduated college and the groom I saw last month at Homecoming.  We played cards and just hung out, it was nice considering Thursday started the wedding madness. 

 

Thursday we ran some errands and groomsmen, bridesmaids, family and friends started arriving.  That night we had a progressive dinner with several of the bride’s family friends.  Some of the friends had some old oil money and were a little on the high falutten side.  We ended up at this trashy 80’s bar where Lauren and I (drunk) brought the funk and fun.  We lit the place up if I do say so myself.  We showed Oklahoma what Erie socialites can do.  Afterwards we ended the night at another really down home backwater bar doing Irish Car Bombs and these delicious ice cold drinks called Lunch Boxes…they were WONDERFUL!!!!! They tasted like orange tic-tacs and were very refreshing.  After that we retired because Friday would be the rehearsal dinner and Saturday was the wedding.

 

Saturday was a mess between tux fittings, laser tag with the groom his family and all the groomsmen, showers, and getting to the church on time it was just a packed day.  The rehearsal dinner was wonderful the food good and the booze flowed.  Afterwards we were went back to the brides home and had a nice get together.  The women stayed inside and the men went outside to smoke stogies and drink rusty nails (Lauren hung out with the guys LOL).  Then it was time to head to the hotel with the other groomsmen.  Uuuumm the hotel rocked.  It was built in 1911 and it was just cool.  Check out some of the pics below.

 

 

 

 

This would be the piano bar we sat in!

 

 

 

Saturday the groomsmen had it pretty easy.  We just had to get to the church early.  The tuxes were still problematic but we made do.  The wedding was beautiful.  The bride was in this lovely lacy gown that complimented her beautifully…it had a certain Spanish feel to it. 

 

The bride’s father, who is training to be a deacon, gave a reflection that was beautiful.  The only problem with the whole ceremony was that the priest kept referring to the bride and groom finding each other due to their love of god.  I could help but feel a little put off by that assumption.  I mean, for myself, organized religion is not my cup of tea.  But I think it takes a little romance out of finding true love by believing it was because you believed in god.  I don’t know I just felt it makes finding love less of an adventure and more a chance based on your devotion to a higher being.  Of course, considering my currently lack of romance and love life (yes I will talk some about Craig) perhaps I am wrong and I should start praying now before I age and become the proverbial cat lady/man.

 

After the ceremony came pictures all over Oklahoma City….it was a ton of fun but by the time we showed up at the reception I was exhausted and hungry.  For the reception we were atop the tallest building in Oklahoma City, the Chase Building in the Devon Room of the Petroleum Club…needless to say it was breath taking.  Let me paint a picture for you there was a live band which played all the old jazz standards.  The bride and groom are dancing their first dance together to “Fly Me to the Moon” and as they are dancing the shades to the 15 foot windows go up to reveal a magnificent sunset over the city….I was stunned.  It was just amazing; it felt like an old movie with a ton of glitz and glamour!  (Check out some of the pics below)  We ate and danced the night away and once the reception ended I found myself with a bunch of friends in our hotels piano bar.  There we sat listening to great piano music, swilling our drinks and just having a great time.

 

 

 This is just to give you an idea of the view from the Chase Building!

 

 

 

That would be our hotel!

 

I can’t seem to find anymore pics of the view…once I load my pics I took I’ll put a few more up. 

 

 

Now I know what you’re asking, “did Sammy get an action,” the answer is no but there were some very cute groomsmen.  But I have to say the highlight, in terms of hotness, was one of the friends of the family of the groom that came to Oklahoma.  I met him when we went to play laser tag.  It was really funny because I’m came ready to play all grunged up with ratty jeans and tennis shoes while some of the guys wore loafers etc.  This guy, his name is Matt, was wearing loafers of some sort and skinny black jeans and didn’t look like the kind of guy who played laser tag.  We exchanged pleasantries and conversation and after laser tag I didn’t see him until I was in an elevator going up to my room from brunch the next day.  Again we chatted and I didn’t think anything of it…it wasn’t until we were sitting in the piano bar that I noticed how cute he was.  It was an unconventional cute.  He was built or had huge muscles…in fact he was tall and skinny, he had shortish brown hair, hazel eyes, a real nice smile, some stubble, and a kinda square chin…and he was wearing a bowtie.  Not usually what I look for in a guy but I have to admit I was smitten.  So we are sitting in the piano bar and I am there with a bunch of people I know who are friends of the bride and groom from college and Matt is just sitting there not talking to anyone.  So I motion for him to come over and chat.  There no actual chairs to sit in but more like over sized ottomans that we lounged on.  So he comes over and I was standing up to move when he did something that was peculiar.  My back was kinda turned to him and he takes his fingers and kinda presses them into my sides.  It was, I don’t want to say weird, but not something I expected from him since we had met only a few days before.  It was a personal kind of touch, at least for me.  It wasn’t one of those fingers pressed into your sides to illicit a laughing fit or pain, it was just a quick squeeze with his first two fingers…maybe he was way of saying get the hell out of my way but wouldn’t that be a weird way to say it…anyway…it’s not a place many people just touch me there unless I know them.  It’s kind of like the small of woman’s back.  It made my head spin a little, and I ended up a little light headed, that a guy would get that close and personal with me especially considering we were just acquaintances.  I have to admit it I liked it.  So we sit and end up having a spectacular conversation.  We talked about college, and writing, typewriters, period movies etc.  It was everything I wanted in a conversation with a man that I could see myself dating.  The conversation flowed easily, he was charming and I was swooning.  I really think that if he had asked me to go back to his room I would have readily left the party.  He is a Senior in college studying 19th century (or 18th century) French Lit and something else…he wants to be a college professor…I was on an intellectual high when he mentioned the kicker…he had girlfriend….son of a bitch.  Just my luck…*Sammy shakes his head*  So in my unrelenting politeness we chat about her…she is currently out of the country, I think in Russia or Germany…I can’t quite remember…or is it I didn’t care…oh well.  She’s been gone for 6 months and all I could think was 6 months and in a different country…it would be okay for him to let off a little bit of steam, with me.  No, no, no, I couldn’t be a home wrecker…but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to be.  As the night progressed we ended but being shuffled away from one another do to the flow of people.  As the night closed I did manage to slip him my email address.  What I’m allowed to have email correspondences with cute guys.  One of the nice things though is that in November we have another reception for the bride and groom in the grooms home town that we are all invited too; I’ve got my fingers crossed that he will be there….please please please.

 

Okay so this is staring to become an increasingly longer post than I had intended.  I know it can be a pain reading long posts…The trip back to Erie was wonderful and here I am today.  I don’t want to over burden you guys with longs post….oh shoot I forgot about the other hot groomsman that I have a slight man crush on…okay I am going to post about that later this week.  Now thinking about it I have a ton of things to post about….Joe this other groomsman, Craig, and I think I might even put up a flavors of the week post.  Well I’m signing off for now but don’t fret I’ll be back.

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Alright let me pick up where I have left off.  As I mentioned I was torn between two guys Steve the meanie guy that flirts with me and the older sexual harassment guy…we’ll call him Craig.  I also left off with my Alma Mater’s Homecoming looming.  Homecoming was a spectacular blast.  We had tons of people stay with me and Lauren at our place lots of booze, lots of fun etc.  Friday night I had a slight development with Steve.  We were both drunk at my Alma Mater’s favorite bar hangout and having a broken conversation.  He did not go to my college but he came with several friends to hang out will all us alums.  We end up leaving, he got a ride home with friends, me in a taxi with a few other friends and we start texting.  I managed to get back into my bedroom and crash on my floor when I get a text from Steve “I want you in my mouth”….abuhhhhhhhh.  I was flattered, excited, and somewhat confused by this exclamation.  We had flirted but in the back of my mind I had not really thought anything would have come of Steve.  I’m drunk and I’m pretty sure I send a text back that wasn’t sexual in nature but ponderus…my cell phone blinks with a response from Steve, “ I want to suck  you off”…could my 11 months of strike outs with the boys finally have worn off?  Have I just scored a homerun?…my cell phone blinks again.  It’s Steve, “j/k”….what in the world I wonder, then another text “just kidding.”  At this point, between the massive amount of booze circulating in my system and these weird text messages, I’m totally confused.  We text for a few more minutes when he tells me he is texting his EX-BOYFRIEND…I pass out downtrodden. 

 

The next day I receive a text from him apologizing for the perverted texts…I haven’t texted him in three days.  Needless to say, the universe screwed me over again, not surprisingly.  I’m sad but not surprised.  For the moment Steve is out of the picture.  I don’t time or patience to worry about a guy who is hung up on his ex when I took the time to flirt and make myself available to him.  Available for dating and such…what kind of available are you thinking of?????

 

The rest of the weekend goes of without a stitch.  It isn’t until Monday that things get interesting.  So I am at work and Craig and I have been emailing each other.  Mostly about the event I’m hosting but there are flirty nuances in the emails.  So I give him my personal email.  In one email I ask him what he is doing.  He responds going to a movie, and asks if I like Woody Allen films (queue the Juno Quote “Woody Allen! I love Woody Allen.”  That’s would be Juno’s friend Leah who is flirting with an older teacher…the situation is reminiscent to my own at the moment).  I tell him I don’t mind them and that my evening was going to consist of going to a lecture about Civil Rights, MLK, and the political race with Obama.  He then asks me to join him at the movies….hello Vicky Christina Barcelona good bye Civil Rights lecture.  (I couldn’t help myself…you would do the same)  So we meet at the theater.  He had a couple of free passes so we go in and it is me and him and these two older people.  Drat, I totally would have made out with him in the theater.  The movie was awesome and we then go out for drinks…I’m thinking this is kinda like a date but kinda not.  After two hours of drinking and talking and A LOT of touching, he asks if I would like a tour of his house…meager come on but I am totally down with it.  We get back to his house and I do get a tour and then the real fun began.

 

I know I know you probably want all the fun and gay details…I’ll give you just a few.  It was fun, after 11 months I know I still got it, it was fun, I still have a few scraps of dignity still intact, it was fun, no we didn’t go all the way, it was still fun, and I might be meeting up with him on Sunday….did I mention it was fun!

 

After our fun all I could think is of that moment in Under the Tuscan Sun where Diane Lane has sex for the first time after her divorce and she’s bouncing all over her room chanting “I still got it… (grabs chest)…I still got it…(laying on her back kicking her legs like an excited child…I…Still…Got….It.”  I had the same type of reaction, it just wasn’t in my bedroom therefore it was a little reserved.  Note the picture below

 

 

So I don’t know where this is going.  I am not putting to much thought into it.  He is older than me; perhaps we are friends that just like to fool around…I don’t know and I’m not going to try and label quite yet…I’m sure that won’t last long though…that’s my neurosis talking.

 

P.S. He gave me his cold……

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I hope this finds you well and enjoying your Friday.  Things are good with me, busy, but good.  There are a couple things I’d like to cover.

 

First a questions:  Since I can see Canada from Erie does that mean I have foreign policy experience?  I’m just wondering.

 

Secondly, perhaps if Bush wasn’t to busy trying to invade Afghanistan and Iraq, or trying to define marriage as being between a man and a woman we wouldn’t be in our current financial mess.  ASSHOLE.  For the record, Bush and his buddies were given a surplus of $128 billion.  Check out the article. 

 

 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/07/28/2009.deficit/index.html

 

As far as I’m concerned it’s we middle class folk that will be the ones carrying the burden.  Can anyone else see the disconnect that the republicans have with the working class?  What concerns me the most about it is that I’m starting to get use to it.  Isn’t that awful?  Gas prices soar, I have to get use to it.  Food prices skyrocket, I have to get use to it.  The American financial system is a mess; I’ll get use to it.  It’s like I wake up everyday and see some new and senseless problem our government has gotten us into and I’m not surprised any more.

 

One more thing on my political rantyness (I know it’s not a real word).  I love how Palin met with 9 foreign leaders in 30 hours this week.  There’s nothing like a cram session before the debates.  HHHEEEELLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO I don’t know about anyone else but when I would cram for a test the end result was never in my favor. 

 

As for the upcoming debates I would just like to say I hope Palin is ready one, because of the lack of foreign policy experience, and two because she is a woman.  For those of you who will cry that sexism will run rampant and that Biden should go easy on her, you can all go to hell.  We are in a fast paced political arena and Palin had better be ready to carry her own.  This self proclaimed barracuda will have to do battle in the media spotlight and frankly it isn’t going to be pretty.  The other thing is would the world have been willing to give Hillary Clinton an easy run at the debates.  Hell no, they would have tried to tear her apart. 

 

Okay I know I could go on and on about this forever (except its making me sick) but we have more important things to cover…like my love life…or lack there of.

 

 

So currently I’m torn.  I have Steve on one hand.  He’s cute and totally out but he has a certain roughness about him.  Some of the things he has said has been harsh or a little mean.  I’ve had several friends tell me that I could do better which is new dynamic in flirting with him.  Also, I came out to him “officially” a couple nights ago and I think it changed the flirting that was occurring between us.  I don’t want to flirt with him but I just can’t help myself.   Have you ever noticed that when people say they can’t help themselves it usually ends badly with said person having to admit that they made a huge error or lapse in their judgment…I don’t like that.  But when I’m around him I just can’t stop.  I get all school girlish and I’m not normally like that. 

 

Then I have Dave the older guy that sexually harassed me this week (jesus that sounds like a messed up line…Dear Diary, I’m crushin’ on the man that sexually harassed me (said in a school girl voice)).  We exchanged several emails and I find that I’m aroused at the fact that he is older and hitting on me.  But he doesn’t strike me as my type.  If we were ever to get together to do man “activities” I really think it would just be for the gratification of it.  I try not to do fall into that stereotype of instant self gratification that we gays sometime find ourselves stamped with, but my hormones sometimes over power my ability to make sound decisions.

 

I’m very torn…and horny…a dangerous combination…ugh.

 

On a brighter note, it is my almater’s homecoming and Lauren and I have a ton of friends that are in town and staying with us.  I’m uber excited about it.  One because I love my college, two I love my friends, but three, I hope it will take my mind off my current crush crisis.  There will be ample booze to sample and food to eat.  We have our football game etc and its always such a great time!

 

I’ll let you know how the weekend goes in my next post.  Wish me luck with the boys and have a fun filled weekend! Don’t stay indoors blogging to much the days are getting colder, enjoy the weather!

 

 

 

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