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Alright bitches I am back and I am alive after my wedding adventure.  So let me give you the lowdown on the event.  Traveling was fine, I had a half day of work then Lauren and I drove to Pittsburgh flew from there to Hotlanta then from Hotlanta to Oklahoma City.  The Bride and Groom to be were waiting at the gates for us and it was a wonderful reunion.  That was Tuesday evening.  Wednesday and Thursday were spent visiting and doing minor wedding chores…and mellowing out the grooms Mother who was on high wedding alert.  We bottled barbeque sauce (which was the favor at the reception as well as a donation to a local charity for each person that attended), we also picked up Oklahoma paraphernalia for the out of town guests (they had boxes waiting for them when they checked into their hotel rooms…the boxes had all sorts of Oklahoma goodies). 

 

Let me tell you Oklahoma is flat, I was informed by the native Okies that there were in fact mountains, but I am having a hard time believing it.  Also, apparently Oklahoma is the home of the largest hill in the world…LOL.  P.S. I was waiting to see my first tornado, I know it wasn’t tornado season but a boy can hope can’t he?!

 

It was nice being there a few days early to just catch up with the bride and groom.  I haven’t seen the bride since she graduated college and the groom I saw last month at Homecoming.  We played cards and just hung out, it was nice considering Thursday started the wedding madness. 

 

Thursday we ran some errands and groomsmen, bridesmaids, family and friends started arriving.  That night we had a progressive dinner with several of the bride’s family friends.  Some of the friends had some old oil money and were a little on the high falutten side.  We ended up at this trashy 80’s bar where Lauren and I (drunk) brought the funk and fun.  We lit the place up if I do say so myself.  We showed Oklahoma what Erie socialites can do.  Afterwards we ended the night at another really down home backwater bar doing Irish Car Bombs and these delicious ice cold drinks called Lunch Boxes…they were WONDERFUL!!!!! They tasted like orange tic-tacs and were very refreshing.  After that we retired because Friday would be the rehearsal dinner and Saturday was the wedding.

 

Saturday was a mess between tux fittings, laser tag with the groom his family and all the groomsmen, showers, and getting to the church on time it was just a packed day.  The rehearsal dinner was wonderful the food good and the booze flowed.  Afterwards we were went back to the brides home and had a nice get together.  The women stayed inside and the men went outside to smoke stogies and drink rusty nails (Lauren hung out with the guys LOL).  Then it was time to head to the hotel with the other groomsmen.  Uuuumm the hotel rocked.  It was built in 1911 and it was just cool.  Check out some of the pics below.

 

 

 

 

This would be the piano bar we sat in!

 

 

 

Saturday the groomsmen had it pretty easy.  We just had to get to the church early.  The tuxes were still problematic but we made do.  The wedding was beautiful.  The bride was in this lovely lacy gown that complimented her beautifully…it had a certain Spanish feel to it. 

 

The bride’s father, who is training to be a deacon, gave a reflection that was beautiful.  The only problem with the whole ceremony was that the priest kept referring to the bride and groom finding each other due to their love of god.  I could help but feel a little put off by that assumption.  I mean, for myself, organized religion is not my cup of tea.  But I think it takes a little romance out of finding true love by believing it was because you believed in god.  I don’t know I just felt it makes finding love less of an adventure and more a chance based on your devotion to a higher being.  Of course, considering my currently lack of romance and love life (yes I will talk some about Craig) perhaps I am wrong and I should start praying now before I age and become the proverbial cat lady/man.

 

After the ceremony came pictures all over Oklahoma City….it was a ton of fun but by the time we showed up at the reception I was exhausted and hungry.  For the reception we were atop the tallest building in Oklahoma City, the Chase Building in the Devon Room of the Petroleum Club…needless to say it was breath taking.  Let me paint a picture for you there was a live band which played all the old jazz standards.  The bride and groom are dancing their first dance together to “Fly Me to the Moon” and as they are dancing the shades to the 15 foot windows go up to reveal a magnificent sunset over the city….I was stunned.  It was just amazing; it felt like an old movie with a ton of glitz and glamour!  (Check out some of the pics below)  We ate and danced the night away and once the reception ended I found myself with a bunch of friends in our hotels piano bar.  There we sat listening to great piano music, swilling our drinks and just having a great time.

 

 

 This is just to give you an idea of the view from the Chase Building!

 

 

 

That would be our hotel!

 

I can’t seem to find anymore pics of the view…once I load my pics I took I’ll put a few more up. 

 

 

Now I know what you’re asking, “did Sammy get an action,” the answer is no but there were some very cute groomsmen.  But I have to say the highlight, in terms of hotness, was one of the friends of the family of the groom that came to Oklahoma.  I met him when we went to play laser tag.  It was really funny because I’m came ready to play all grunged up with ratty jeans and tennis shoes while some of the guys wore loafers etc.  This guy, his name is Matt, was wearing loafers of some sort and skinny black jeans and didn’t look like the kind of guy who played laser tag.  We exchanged pleasantries and conversation and after laser tag I didn’t see him until I was in an elevator going up to my room from brunch the next day.  Again we chatted and I didn’t think anything of it…it wasn’t until we were sitting in the piano bar that I noticed how cute he was.  It was an unconventional cute.  He was built or had huge muscles…in fact he was tall and skinny, he had shortish brown hair, hazel eyes, a real nice smile, some stubble, and a kinda square chin…and he was wearing a bowtie.  Not usually what I look for in a guy but I have to admit I was smitten.  So we are sitting in the piano bar and I am there with a bunch of people I know who are friends of the bride and groom from college and Matt is just sitting there not talking to anyone.  So I motion for him to come over and chat.  There no actual chairs to sit in but more like over sized ottomans that we lounged on.  So he comes over and I was standing up to move when he did something that was peculiar.  My back was kinda turned to him and he takes his fingers and kinda presses them into my sides.  It was, I don’t want to say weird, but not something I expected from him since we had met only a few days before.  It was a personal kind of touch, at least for me.  It wasn’t one of those fingers pressed into your sides to illicit a laughing fit or pain, it was just a quick squeeze with his first two fingers…maybe he was way of saying get the hell out of my way but wouldn’t that be a weird way to say it…anyway…it’s not a place many people just touch me there unless I know them.  It’s kind of like the small of woman’s back.  It made my head spin a little, and I ended up a little light headed, that a guy would get that close and personal with me especially considering we were just acquaintances.  I have to admit it I liked it.  So we sit and end up having a spectacular conversation.  We talked about college, and writing, typewriters, period movies etc.  It was everything I wanted in a conversation with a man that I could see myself dating.  The conversation flowed easily, he was charming and I was swooning.  I really think that if he had asked me to go back to his room I would have readily left the party.  He is a Senior in college studying 19th century (or 18th century) French Lit and something else…he wants to be a college professor…I was on an intellectual high when he mentioned the kicker…he had girlfriend….son of a bitch.  Just my luck…*Sammy shakes his head*  So in my unrelenting politeness we chat about her…she is currently out of the country, I think in Russia or Germany…I can’t quite remember…or is it I didn’t care…oh well.  She’s been gone for 6 months and all I could think was 6 months and in a different country…it would be okay for him to let off a little bit of steam, with me.  No, no, no, I couldn’t be a home wrecker…but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to be.  As the night progressed we ended but being shuffled away from one another do to the flow of people.  As the night closed I did manage to slip him my email address.  What I’m allowed to have email correspondences with cute guys.  One of the nice things though is that in November we have another reception for the bride and groom in the grooms home town that we are all invited too; I’ve got my fingers crossed that he will be there….please please please.

 

Okay so this is staring to become an increasingly longer post than I had intended.  I know it can be a pain reading long posts…The trip back to Erie was wonderful and here I am today.  I don’t want to over burden you guys with longs post….oh shoot I forgot about the other hot groomsman that I have a slight man crush on…okay I am going to post about that later this week.  Now thinking about it I have a ton of things to post about….Joe this other groomsman, Craig, and I think I might even put up a flavors of the week post.  Well I’m signing off for now but don’t fret I’ll be back.

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Alright let me pick up where I have left off.  As I mentioned I was torn between two guys Steve the meanie guy that flirts with me and the older sexual harassment guy…we’ll call him Craig.  I also left off with my Alma Mater’s Homecoming looming.  Homecoming was a spectacular blast.  We had tons of people stay with me and Lauren at our place lots of booze, lots of fun etc.  Friday night I had a slight development with Steve.  We were both drunk at my Alma Mater’s favorite bar hangout and having a broken conversation.  He did not go to my college but he came with several friends to hang out will all us alums.  We end up leaving, he got a ride home with friends, me in a taxi with a few other friends and we start texting.  I managed to get back into my bedroom and crash on my floor when I get a text from Steve “I want you in my mouth”….abuhhhhhhhh.  I was flattered, excited, and somewhat confused by this exclamation.  We had flirted but in the back of my mind I had not really thought anything would have come of Steve.  I’m drunk and I’m pretty sure I send a text back that wasn’t sexual in nature but ponderus…my cell phone blinks with a response from Steve, “ I want to suck  you off”…could my 11 months of strike outs with the boys finally have worn off?  Have I just scored a homerun?…my cell phone blinks again.  It’s Steve, “j/k”….what in the world I wonder, then another text “just kidding.”  At this point, between the massive amount of booze circulating in my system and these weird text messages, I’m totally confused.  We text for a few more minutes when he tells me he is texting his EX-BOYFRIEND…I pass out downtrodden. 

 

The next day I receive a text from him apologizing for the perverted texts…I haven’t texted him in three days.  Needless to say, the universe screwed me over again, not surprisingly.  I’m sad but not surprised.  For the moment Steve is out of the picture.  I don’t time or patience to worry about a guy who is hung up on his ex when I took the time to flirt and make myself available to him.  Available for dating and such…what kind of available are you thinking of?????

 

The rest of the weekend goes of without a stitch.  It isn’t until Monday that things get interesting.  So I am at work and Craig and I have been emailing each other.  Mostly about the event I’m hosting but there are flirty nuances in the emails.  So I give him my personal email.  In one email I ask him what he is doing.  He responds going to a movie, and asks if I like Woody Allen films (queue the Juno Quote “Woody Allen! I love Woody Allen.”  That’s would be Juno’s friend Leah who is flirting with an older teacher…the situation is reminiscent to my own at the moment).  I tell him I don’t mind them and that my evening was going to consist of going to a lecture about Civil Rights, MLK, and the political race with Obama.  He then asks me to join him at the movies….hello Vicky Christina Barcelona good bye Civil Rights lecture.  (I couldn’t help myself…you would do the same)  So we meet at the theater.  He had a couple of free passes so we go in and it is me and him and these two older people.  Drat, I totally would have made out with him in the theater.  The movie was awesome and we then go out for drinks…I’m thinking this is kinda like a date but kinda not.  After two hours of drinking and talking and A LOT of touching, he asks if I would like a tour of his house…meager come on but I am totally down with it.  We get back to his house and I do get a tour and then the real fun began.

 

I know I know you probably want all the fun and gay details…I’ll give you just a few.  It was fun, after 11 months I know I still got it, it was fun, I still have a few scraps of dignity still intact, it was fun, no we didn’t go all the way, it was still fun, and I might be meeting up with him on Sunday….did I mention it was fun!

 

After our fun all I could think is of that moment in Under the Tuscan Sun where Diane Lane has sex for the first time after her divorce and she’s bouncing all over her room chanting “I still got it… (grabs chest)…I still got it…(laying on her back kicking her legs like an excited child…I…Still…Got….It.”  I had the same type of reaction, it just wasn’t in my bedroom therefore it was a little reserved.  Note the picture below

 

 

So I don’t know where this is going.  I am not putting to much thought into it.  He is older than me; perhaps we are friends that just like to fool around…I don’t know and I’m not going to try and label quite yet…I’m sure that won’t last long though…that’s my neurosis talking.

 

P.S. He gave me his cold……

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My apologizes bloggers; I’ve not be as attentive to my blog as recently as I should be.  (Insert lame excuse)…I’m currently working on a project that will take place in October and I have been eating, drinking, and sleeping said event for the past two weeks….I think it might be getting to me.  But, don’t worry as of October 8th the project will be done and I will be able to blog a little more!!!!!

 

Here are a few updates I would like to touch on.

 

First, on Friday night as some of you may recall I went out to visit an older gay man from Erie.  I had no intention of thinking it was a date or anything like that.  In my mind it was either going to be a friendly meeting or one that would end in some man action.  It was just a friendly meeting.  So we met and my fears of being murdered by a psychopath were immediately put to rest.  He was very nice and cordial.  So we chatted compared political notes, preferences in men, celebrity crushes (Hugh Jackman…swoon) etc.  It was for all intensive purposes a nice meeting.  I decided early on, while I find older men attractive and enjoy attention from older guys (weird I know) that it would have never worked out between us.  I could tell from out conversation.  When I check my email on Monday he made it adequately clear in an email that we couldn’t date.  He mentioned that if he was 20 years younger we could have possibly dated.  The line made me think that we might have been out on a date, but needless to say I was a little confused by the whole thing.  So that is that…I’ve made a gay friend…yyyiiipppeee.

 

Secondly, you guys will enjoy this one.  Earlier on Friday I was attending several meetings around the Erie area for this big event I’m doing.  I meet with people in my field it is usually one or two people and myself.  The meeting itself lasts usually no more that 20 minutes; until I met Dave.  So I walk into an office and meet with this man.  Initial thoughts were as follows.  He is wearing a black shirt (some stains on it, it was dress down day at his office) jeans and shell top sneakers.  He is really tan (and I’m thinking via a tanning booth but I can’t confirm) His teeth are bleached white; he is about 40 years old, maybe a little younger or older.  I come to the conclusion he is either gay or an aging hipster.  I turn around and see a purple sarong tacked to his office wall and decide that more than likely he is gay.  We greet one another and I get this vague thought that he seems familiar but I couldn’t really place my finger on it so I dismiss it.  We begin talking and the next thing I know he rounds his desk and is standing immediately to my left (while I am still sitting in my chair).  He has totally invaded my personal space and I’m kinda trying to figure out what is going on.  It would be at that point he TOTALLY RUBBED HIS CROTCH ON MY LEFT ELBOW.  Yes you read right full on crotch rub to the elbow.  I’m stunned and the rubbing continues its kinda light then he would bump his crotch on by elbow a little.  I’m having serious ethical and moral issues at this moment.  One, is he doing it purposefully, two, I should be upset because I was totally being sexually harassed three, I shouldn’t be but I was totally enjoying it.  I know what you are thinking TACKLESS.  Sammy is being totally tackless, but I would be lying if I didn’t say that I enjoyed that fact that a semi-good looking older man found me attractive.  It’s a nice boost of self confidence but is a boost in self confidence grounds for sexual harassment?

 

For anyone who is straight and reads this, notice how I completely responded to sexual harassment in the opposite way normal people do. 

 

So I move my arm to my side and he sits down beside me.  We do the meeting thing and I’m still confused as to what had happened when all of a sudden he invites me to sit behind his computer to show him information regarding my place of employment.

 

Moral dilemma 2:  Should Sammy One, say that he is uncomfortable about using his computer and end the meeting and leave, or two,  use this moment to talk up his place of employment and get him interested in it (which incidentally might help my place of employment if I get him excited about it).  I choose two…I’m a whore what can I say.  If he thinks he can rub his crotch on me, I’m totally going to use it to my advantage.  He crossed the work ethics line first, I am just responding naturally…with the hopes to make some gain out of it…don’t judge I’m just playing the game and I’ll be damned if I sit by and have my elbow rubbed by a man and me not get any gain out of it.  I sit down at his desk and right on queue….the crotch is bumping and rubbing against my elbow.  He would reach over me for the mouse and graze me and I am just dumbfounded by this blatant harassment and the fact that he is aroused by me.  So after a bit of this I finish and prepare to leave, this is when my being sexually harassed pays off.  I score several phone numbers and emails of people I can branch out to for my job.  Was it worth it…I really don’t know.  Now comes the awkward part.  We get to a point in our conversation where we are having awkward silences.  (Much like when some wants to ask you out on a date or for you phone number and they are scared to do it) There was stuttering and murmuring and I shake his hand and go to leave….about halfway down the hall he starts to follow me…he stops me we talk a few more minutes…awkward pauses and starts in our conversation…and he mentions that we will be at a few meetings together in the upcoming months…I say goodbye and leave.

 

I am totally confused at this point in my day, he has rubbed his crotch all over my elbow, with out so much as a drink offer, I’m not sure I can even call it sexual harassment because I’m flattered at the attention, and then to think we are going to see each other later…it is all just to much for me.

 

So I go to work, I meet my older man friend out, then I head out to the bars to visit a friend that is in town.  My sister shows up; her and her roommates get drunk I take them home and I start driving home.  It is about 12:30/1:00 in the morning and I am thinking about my being sexually harassed when it comes to me.  I’m guessing this is what it was like when Newton discovered gravity…everything clicking into place questions that you’ve had are answered easily by your new found awareness.  Not that I discovered anything as significant as gravity but at that moment I realized I knew Dave.  Dave had been at a gay bar that I had frequented hitting on the bartender from several posts ago (it was the karaoke bar).  I almost drove my car off of the road at my epiphany.  Dave and his couple of friends sat in front of me and Lucy and Lauren when we went to the bar and I am able to identify him by his glasses.  What I like to pay attention to the finer details of people.  No I am pretty sure Dave knew who I was before hand prompting the uninvited gay sexual harassment.  It just blew my mind…and now I have to see him again at several of these meetings we will be attending.

 

I would like to go on but this blog has gone on exceptionally long.  More about this later!

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So I had a pretty mundane weekend, which is exactly what I needed!  Friday night I went out to a bunch of the art galleries in Erie with Lucy.  The offered free refreshments and rides to each gallery.  It was really awesome and I’ve decided to purchase a piece of artwork out of my price range but I have a little help from one of my Aunts.  It is awesome and as soon as I make the purchase I’ll put a pic up of the piece!  After the galleries I decided to continue the gay bar scene and go to one called Craze.  I’ve been to the Zone in Erie which is a whole hell of a lot different then Craze.  Craze was less busy and less smoky.  I was much more at ease.  So I’m there with Lucy having a drink she DDed that night which was nice.  What else was nice was that the bartender flirted with me the entire time we were there.  I came to notice it after Lucy pointed out that he hadn’t stopped staring at me since we had come in.  A nice change of pace since I’m usually the one doing the staring.  I make small talk with him and return to my usual MO and leave my number on a napkin (this is getting painful).  I did hand it to him and told him it was my number and to give me a call after he finished work.  There are a couple of things there that you should know.  1) Yes it would be late if he did call, but he was a bartender so I was aware 2) I wanted a make out friend for the evening…what? 3) I had my apartment to myself since Lauren was out of town at a wedding…like you’ve never enjoyed the perks of having your apartment to yourself for a weekend?!?!!?  Well he never called…I was kinda disappointed to say the least. 

 

I have to say I reflected on why I was so disappointed.  Was I disappointed because they guy was showing me interest didn’t pan out, was it because I was kinda into the guy, or was I disappointed because I had the perfect opportunity to break my 10 month dry spell (yes I typed it 10 months….I know I know it’s been rough trust me).  So I spend the next few days just hanging around my apartment.  I watched a lot of TV which I haven’t done in a while, I dusted my bedroom (unfortunately no beer was involved), and I dusted out baseboards of our apartment… (jesus baseboards really?)

 

Sunday evening rolls around and Lauren comes home and decides that she wants to go out.  She has been hanging out with this guy recently so we were going to check out one of his haunts to see if he was there.  Well I took this as the opportunity to go back to Craze and do some damaged control myself (or make a fool of myself…whichever came first).  So we go order our drinks, and low and behold it’s karaoke night.  Needless to say I did get some giggles out of the singers…like you wouldn’t.  It seems like the bartender isn’t there so I’m bummed then I catch sight of him.  As it turns out he is running karaoke night from the DJ booth.  Well Lauren signs up for a song (no I don’t sing karaoke…I had a terrible experience as a 16 regarding a karaoke birthday party…lets not go any further it is bringing up bad memories lol).  I take the slip to the guy we chat briefly.  I’m not quite sure if this is considered stalking or being forward with wanting to talk with the guy.  Lauren at one point leans over and tells me the same thing that Lucy had said to me two nights ago, he hasn’t stopped staring at me.  God I love feeling like a piece of meat J.  Then at one point he gets up and starts singing.  As you might or might not know I love love love old music like jazz.  It is great music that our generation will never fully recognize or understand.  Well, bartender guy starts singing “I Wanna Be Around” and I couldn’t help falling just a little for him.  I know what you’re thinking…Sammy just falls to easily, well let me tell you something, there is nothing more attractive than someone who can sing a good jazz song, and boy did he nail it.  Great voice, great song (even though it’s about heartbreak…and I don’t intent to think about the over arching theme of the song) and I was sold.

 

Well at that point Lauren wants to go to see if her hottie is out so I decide to break my usual pattern. I write a quick little note on a napkin giving him my number again asking if he wanted to catch a movie this week. Then I ask the bartender to give it to him.  And with that I was gone.  Cowardly perhaps, but really who wants to be bothered by an enamored boy while trying to host a karaoke night.  I haven’t heard from him, which is disappointing but we’ll see what happens.  But I am pretty pleased with the fact that I went back to the bar…I don’t usually do things like that.  If someone doesn’t call I usually just accept it and move on.  Below is a version of the song the bartender sang.  If you just want to hear the words you will have to jump to the 1:49 second mark!

 

 

 

 

On one final note Matthew Mitcham took home the gold from the Olympics!!!!!!!  I was thrilled about his accomplishment.  Again, he is a spectacular athlete and great representative of the gay community.  He should be very proud of his grace and dignity that he has shown in times where gay athletes are not always shown the same.  He has a lot of respect from this boy in Erie!!!!!

 

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What is it about a good crush that does us in?  The something that inevitable attracts us to someone that we are not sure will return the same feelings we have for them.  You watch them from a far and become an observer of there life and who they are, all the while wishing you were with them or included in their life.  When you see them coming time slows down a bit, your heart beats a little quicker, you feel yourself flush a little and hope that they make eye contact with you or better yet say hello.  Crushes are wonderful but can be devastating nonetheless.  On top of that is the numerous types of crushes, platonic crushes (if there so exists such a thing), intellectual crushes on professors, homosexual crushes, I even find myself having mini crushes over the occasional girl (I think they are usually an emotional crush that I develop with them…LOL).  Just the other day I was attending my Alma Mater’s graduation ceremony to see a bunch of good friends graduate.  After the ceremony my roommate and I were outside looking for said friends when it happened.  It was like the proverbial parting of the seas, and by seas I mean people, I saw an old crush.  I’m not talking about any old crush; I’m talking about my ultimate college crush! (sssiiiggghhhh)

 

I was in trouble the first time I met him.  He was the embodiment of all these great qualities that I look for in guys, intelligent, eloquent, kind; he had the nicest smile, and dark brown eyes.  He was socially awkward at times and had a mop of brown hair.  He was short and skinny and always smelled like coffee and patchouli.  He was one of those college intellects whose attractive nature came naturally and unknown to him.   I was lucky enough to meet him one boozy evening when friends of mine wanted him to take us to McDonald’s.  I was hooked after that.  I was lucky after that because it turned out we ran in the same circles in college and had many mutual friends.  I was even lucky enough to be in several classes with him my last year of college and we often found ourselves studying late at night in the library together.  Let’s just say I did very very well those terms in college because I spent an inordinate amount of time studying (and who says all crushes are bad J).  By the end of that school year I decided to send him a note letting him know how I felt, except I sent it anonymously.  I thought that by doing this perhaps the blow that I would feel when my crush moved away to graduate school would be lessened.  It did to some extent.  We still text each other occasionally.  I don’t think he knew that his anonymous letter was from me (the other thing about my crush is that he was always blissfully unaware of my feelings…at least that the way it seemed. 

 

So we parted ways and haven’t seen each other in oh about 7 or 8 months until I saw him yesterday.  I surprised myself when I looked to my right and saw him standing there in all his intellectual, coffee and patchouli glory.  I spotted him instantly (sick isn’t it, I blame all the studying we did together).  Without a second thought I dragged Lauren over and immediately greeted him.  I think I even gave him a hug (I was dazed I can’t quite remember) and we chatted for a bit then it was over.  We discovered our friends and had to leave. 

 

I still felt that pang of emotion that want to be with him.  I wanted him to look at me and know that I wrote him the letter he had received a little over a year ago and be moved by the frankness of my emotion that he would fall instantly for me as well.  But unfortunately that’s the nature of a crush.  They keep you at an arms length from those you desire the most. 

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